This series of blog posts is based on an article written by Travis Bradberry in Forbes titled “12 Habits of Genuine People.” Be sure to check out last week’s installment here.

Here is his list of 12:

1. They don’t try to make people like them.
2. They don’t pass judgment.
3. They forge their own paths.
4. They are generous.
5. They treat everyone with respect.
6. They aren’t motivated by material things.
7. They are Trustworthy.
8. They are thick-skinned.
9. They put away their phones.
10. They aren’t driven by ego.
11. They aren’t hypocrites.
12. They don’t brag.

In this blog, I would like to consolidate points 1, 2 and 7.

They are Trustworthy

What does it mean to be trustworthy? Mr. Bradberry writes in the original Forbes article,

People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It is difficult to like someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel. Genuine people mean that they say, and if they make a commitment, they keep it. You know that if they say something, it’s because they believe it to be true.

I would interpret his words for being trustworthy as having integrity. The dictionary uses the words “strong moral principles, moral uprightness, being whole, undivided” to describe integrity.

Bradberry says it’s difficult to like someone when you don’t know who they really are. I say it’s difficult to be influenced by someone who you don’t believe to have integrity. Without integrity (or being trustworthy) you have no ability to influence. Without the ability to influence, you have very little worth.

They Don’t Pass Judgment

I will once again go back to Mr. Bradberry’s words,

Genuine people are open-minded. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who has already formed an opinion and is not willing to listen.

Scott Fitzgerald said, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”

Genuine people listen with the intent to understand and are perfectly willing to accept opposing ideas as both being valid at the same time. We talked about this in the last blog which described Genuine People as being “thick-skinned”, or in my words, comfortable in their own skin.

Genuine people are open-minded.

They don’t try to make people like them

This is the number one attribute of Genuine People identified in Travis Bradberry’s article.

We talked about Aristotle’s Levels of Happiness in our last blog. He identified Level 4 as Sublime Beatitudo: Providing blessings with such excellence and grandeur as to inspire great admiration or awe.

The words that Aristotle used for Level 4 were Truth, Love, Beauty, Unity (I’ve seen different interpretations the fourth attribute, but I’ve enjoyed the concept of Unity in terms of building great teams.)

I believe that one mistake made today is assuming that the first two, Truth and Love are opposite ends of a continuum. All too often people believe they can either tell a person the truth or love (offer them respect) them. However, they exist on different axes of the chart.

Think of Truth being the scale up the left side of the chart and Love being the scale along the bottom of the chart.

Low Truth, Low Love – Manipulative Insensitivity.

The receiver doesn’t believe the sender is speaking the truth nor do they exhibit any respect. It just feels manipulative.

High Truth, Low Love – Obnoxious Aggression

The receiver knows the sender is speaking the truth as they see it but with no respect. It’s just aggressive behavior.

Low Truth, High Love – Ruinous Empathy

The receiver may feel the respect from the sender but knows they are not getting the whole truth. This leaves them with an inability to improve.

High Truth, High Love – Positive Candor

The receiver feels respected and at the same time is given the truth they need to improve. This creates the ability to learn.

Genuine people want to help the people grow and develop. Genuine people want to grow and develop themselves. This requires both Truth and Love on everyone’s part. Simply getting people to like you doesn’t help and doesn’t work in the end.

This series of posts is based on an article written by Travis Bradberry in Forbes titled “12 Habits of Genuine People.”  You can catch last week’s discussion here.

Here is his list of 12:

1. They don’t try to make people like them.
2. They don’t pass judgment.
3. They forge their own paths.
4. They are generous.
5. They treat everyone with respect.
6. They aren’t motivated by material things.
7. They are Trustworthy.
8. They are thick-skinned.
9. They put away their phones.
10. They aren’t driven by ego.
11. They aren’t hypocrites.
12. They don’t brag.

In this post, I would like to consolidate points 8 and 3.

Thick Skinned and Forge their Own Paths

Thick Skinned or Comfortable in Their Own Skin.

Thick Skinned is an interesting concept. The dictionary definition says “insensitive to criticism or insults.” This seems to say that in their desire to forge their own paths, they are a “damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead” kind of person. This seems to indicate a loner or a person totally on an island forging their own paths.

I don’t experience genuine people that way. To me a genuine person is warm and open, inviting and embracing. They’re not a loner or an isolated figure taking on the world with their own view of how things should or could work. They’re engaging and inviting. They’re genuine!

I don’t find genuine people thick-skinned, I find them practical, looking for truth and reality and being open to different perspectives and understanding. The reason they don’t seem to be affected by criticism and insults is that they are confident of who they are yet open to other’s beliefs and assumptions. They don’t take statements as criticism or insults because they see others as trying to express a different point of view, even if they’re doing it very poorly.

I wouldn’t consider genuine people as thick skinned, I would consider them as being comfortable in their own skin. They’ve been open to criticism and different points of view while being self-reflective enough to put the other point of view in perspective with their own view of the world.

Forge Their Own Path

Again, I don’t see genuine people forging their own path in complete isolation. They are constantly looking at, listening to and trying to understand the world around them. They do however remain optimistic about forging a path to a new and better place. While they do experience discouragement, they don’t really get discouraged. While they do face obstacles, they don’t feel like or behave like victims. Maybe we can think of them as the early pioneers. What moved them forward through great setbacks, discouragement and obstacles was their belief in a better life in the west.

They didn’t do it alone. Those who tried died. They didn’t do it without the guidance of those who went before them. They were realistic about the obstacles, threats, and dangers. Yet, they kept going. Forging their “own” paths.

Their “courage” came from their vision of a better future. But the path they took was with other people to offer support and care as well as guides and mentors who have experienced some if not all the path forward.

Genuine people are comfortable in their own skin and forge a path to a new and better future with companions along the way.