Tag:

Values

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

by Ron Potter February 16, 2023

I almost always say “Yes” to anything that is asked. I’ve been guilty my whole life, especially when it comes to church. I figured that I was doing the Lord’s work so I should say “Yes” to anything and everything that was asked of me.

The problem was that I was beginning to resent the amount of work I was doing while others didn’t seem to be pulling their share. Then a wise Christian friend gave me some advice. He helped me understand that I was putting too much sweat into the projects and I was losing my joy doing them. He noted that while my effort was appreciated, I may not have been the best person doing the job. He also noted that by saying “Yes” to everything, I was likely preventing other people from participating. Good advice!

From that day forward I limited myself to two major projects at a time at church (and elsewhere). If I was asked to do more than that, my response was that I was happy to do it—which current project should I stop in order to take on the new project? Often the answer was to not stop what I was doing; they’ll find someone else to perform the task. Or if it made sense to take on the new job, the question became, “Who should take on the task I was doing in order for me to spend the time and energy on the new project?” Either answer was good. These questions often led to me doing the job that best suited me and also helped prepare other people to become more involved. Win, win.

Value Your Time and Energy

I read an article in Entrepreneur magazine by Jess Ekstrom titled “The 6 Questions I Ask Before I Say ‘Yes’ to Anything.” Here are the six questions:

1. What purpose does this serve?

If the answer is “to serve,” that’s the wrong answer. There should be purpose for what I do. Why am I doing it? Am I doing it because I believe the Lord is asking me? Am I doing it because I like to see myself as the “go-to” guy? After that talk with the wise friend, I began to think about the things I do and I began to think about why I’m doing things. When you’re young, your personal resources seem unlimited. They are not. Over a lifetime, you only have the personal resources to do a limited number of things. Make sure they count and there is a purpose for doing them.

2. Why am I afraid to say no?

I never wanted to offend people. If they asked me to do something and I said “No,” it felt like I was offending them. Then I began to analyze what happened if people said “Yes” but in the end didn’t do for me what they had said “Yes” to. I was very offended. Let your yes be yes and no be no…

3. What else could I be doing with this time?

What is your time worth? I spent about 30 years of my career working with leaders and small teams. Setting a price for my time was very difficult for me. Every time I set a fee for my work, I had this sinking feeling that I had set it too high. Would anyone be willing to pay that amount? It seemed like every time I went through that process, there was no hesitation on the client’s part.

4. Can I delegate this?

This is a tough one for individual contributors like me. After I retired, many people asked me if I had sold my business. I told them there was nothing to sell. My clients bought me, not some company. Most of this work couldn’t be delegated.

5. What is stealing my energy?

This is an interesting one for me. I traveled all over the world and always seemed to have plenty of energy. But was there anything that seemed to be stealing my energy? As I think about it there were two sources:

The title of this blog. Saying “Yes” to too many things sapped my energy.
The second one I had to learn. When I tried to do everything the business required. Once I realized that I could have someone else do a lot of the work that took time, I had some of my energy back. (Thank you, Chris.)

6. How do I refuel?

Refueling happens very simply for me. We own a cabin in the North Woods of Michigan. Once I’m there for a few days in the woods and near the water, I feel completely renewed and refueled. You’ve probably heard me talking about how important nature is. Even children who grew up in the “projects” on the south side of Chicago were happier and better adjusted if they simply had one tree outside their window. How do you refuel? This is an important question that helps us get through life better if we’ve taken enough time to understand that the thing is for us and if we use it regularly.

Do you pay attention to these six items in your life? To me the most important and overarching one is, “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” The biblical versions (Matthew 5:37) go on to say that anything beyond this is of evil origin. Restrict your life to yes, no, and who else should be doing this other than me? Beyond that, it’s of evil origin.

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An artistic representation of Jesus Christ being crucified.

Suffering

by Ron Potter June 7, 2022

It never amazes me which of my blogs gain the most comments. Recently, it was my blog on Physical Therapy.

In that blog, I listed a dozen things that were posted on the wall in my physical therapist’s office. They included:

Dozen Rules to Live By

Live God-Centered
Love People and Build Relationships
Create Remarkable Experiences Through Exceptional Service
Promote Growth and Embrace Change
Be Generous
Pursue Excellence
Be Efficient
Act with Honesty and Integrity
Stay Humble
Utilize Strengths and Passions
Encourage Autonomy, Innovation, and Clarity
Be Transparent

Jesus Suffered

Jesus lived the perfect life. He never did anything to deserve the pain and suffering of being crucified—crucified by hanging on the cross, the most painful execution ever devised by man at that point in time. It was painful and humiliating. In the Bible, God requires payment for sin. The most sinless man alive was Christ, and yet he suffered the full humiliation of crucifixion. Neither the Bible nor Christ ever promised that we would not experience pain or suffering. In fact, quite the opposite; they indicate that suffering will always be part of life. It is our job to suffer without blaming those around us.

Suffering is a part of life. It is those who go through life blaming others for their suffering who miss out on a big part of life. My suffering through liver disease is simply part of life’s suffering. While I was suffering through my disease, my General Practitioner lost his wife. He was left with four young children. Which of us suffered more?

Three of my friends and I travel north each year to play golf together. I have liver disease, one of my friends has cancer, one has Parkinson’s, and one suffers from heart disease (though he may be the healthiest of the four of us). Which one of us suffers more? My definition of friendship is worrying about my buddies regardless of what I may be suffering. Each of us feels the same pain, and that is what makes us great friends.

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Blog Regrets

Regrets – Foundational

by Ron Potter March 17, 2022

A friend of mine recently sent me Daniel Pink’s latest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward. (Thanks, Chris.)

While I haven’t fully read this book yet, it seems like the perfect next sequence after the series of being afflicted, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down.

Four Core Regrets

Let’s take a look at the Four Core Regrets that Pink identifies:

Foundation

Foundational regrets begin with an irresistible lure and end with inexorable logic.

Boldness

At the heart of all boldness regrets is the thwarted possibility of growth. The failure to become the person—happier, braver, more evolved—one could have been. The failure to accomplish a few important goals within the limited span of a single life.

Moral

Deceit. Infidelity. Theft. Betrayal. Sacrilege. Sometimes the moral regrets people submitted to the surveys read like the production notes for a Ten Commandments training video.

Connection

What gives our lives significance and satisfaction are meaningful relationships. But when those relationships come apart, whether by intent or inattention, what stands in the way of bringing them back together are feelings of awkwardness. We fear that we’ll botch our efforts to reconnect, that we’ll make intended recipients even more uncomfortable. Yet these concerns are almost always misplaced.

Unavoidable Foundation Regrets

We start with the foundational regrets. Like the issues identified in Paul’s letter to the people of Corinth in the last several blogs, these seem to be unavoidable. I believe I am an honorable person with good intent. But as I look back over my life, the first thing that comes to mind is my many regrets. I am reminded of regrets in each of the four core regrets identified by Pink.

Irresistible Lure. Irresistible means impossible. Have you been drawn to something that just seems irresistible? Fortunate for me, immoral things haven’t been irresistible. However, two material things have seemed irresistible to me. One is a nice car. I’m not talking about super-expressive cars but I am talking about the top-of-the-line American cars. I decided with my first new car in 1969 that I was not going to resist a new car every three years. Both of my daughters and sons-in-law find that rather extravagant because they are into decent used cars.
My other irresistible lure has been nice watches. I think it was because my father bought my first new all-electric watch for my high school graduation. I’ve been in love with nice watches ever since.
Inexorable Logic. The word inexorable means impossible to stop or prevent. I have been a very logical person all my life. I can convince myself of almost anything. The logic of my own reasoning becomes so strong and sound that it becomes almost impossible to resist or deny. Unlike automobiles where I made the illogical decision to lease a new car every three years (knowing it is illogical), I talk myself into the new watch with pure logic (or at least I think so).

Convincing Ourselves

My regrets tend to be more materialistic. But I know that some people deal with immoral issues. Like the new car in my case, I openly admit that a new car every three years doesn’t make sense. But if you reached an immoral decision and don’t openly admit it as being immoral, then it tends toward the evil side of human behavior. You know that it’s immoral but you decide to do it anyway.

For those issues where you’re convinced in your mind (through logic or ignorance), you need that trusted friend who is capable of saying to you, “You know that’s wrong, don’t you?”

Dealing with Foundational Regrets

Don’t be evil. The world knows it, and more importantly, you know it. Evil will eat at your character and humaneness. Evil will become one of the more painful things in your life.

Don’t let your bad logic overcome your wisdom. You need that trusted friend who will say, “You know what you’re doing is wrong and unwise.” Listen to them. Examine yourself and your motives. Allow them to be that trusted friend you need.

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Blog Culture Facing Adversity

Ancient Text

by Ron Potter March 10, 2022

Over the last several blogs we have been looking at a text written over 2,000 years ago. A partial reading of the text says that we are afflicted in every way, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down.

Notice that I said this was a “partial” reading of the test. This text was written by Paul to the people of Corinth.

When I add the text that I left out during the blogs written over the last several weeks it says:

Afflicted in every way, but not crushed
Perplexed, but not driven to despair
Persecuted, but not forsaken
Struck down, but not destroyed

These added words bring assurance and hope. While we will be afflicted, we will not be crushed. While we’ll feel perplexed, we will not be driven to despair. While we will be persecuted, we will not be forsaken. And even though we will be struck down, we will not be destroyed.

Reason for Hope

These additional words provide hope. It’s important to examine our source of hope. In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, he of course is speaking of our hope in Jesus Christ. Jesus is the one who offers eternal life regardless of the afflictions, perplexities, persecution, and strikes in everyday life. You may put your faith and hope in other things and they will likely lead to relief in some or all of the conditions. But please consider where you place your hope and the full relief from being crushed, experiencing despair, being forsaken, or destroyed.

Where Is Your Hope?

The only answer I know of avoiding the destruction mentioned in this text is through putting our faith in something greater than ourselves. Those sources of hope can vary over time and in the moment. I know that as I reflect on my hope at any given moment, it can come from many different sources. However, there is only one source greater than ourselves which keeps us from being crushed, experiencing debilitating despair, feeling forsaken, or being destroyed. That source is Jesus Christ. Please examine your source of hope and put your faith in the complete answer.

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Blog Culture

Are You a Hedgehog or a Fox?

by Ron Potter October 14, 2021

Years ago I was working with a client in Scotland. It was mid-June so the days were very long. Because Scotland is so far north the sun rises at about 4:30 in the morning. This allowed me to play nine holes of golf before my meetings started. While I was on one hole a small hedgehog came walking out from a nearby woodpile. He seemed oblivious to my presence and walked right into the line of my pending putt. I reached out with my putter and “patted” him on the rear end assuming he would scamper off the green. Instead, he curled tightly up into a ball and held his defensive position. I watched him for a few minutes but he never came out of his defensive ball. I then took my putter, treated him like a golf ball, and putted him off the green. After a few minutes, he got up a scampered off.

So when I saw the Wall Street Journal titled, “The Hedgehogs of Critical Race Theory”, I was intrigued.

Archilochus

Archilocus was a Greek poet and philosopher who said, “The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing”. The WSJ article says that the political philosopher Isaiah Berlin wrote an essay in 1953 suggesting that the world was divided between hedgehogs and foxes. He identified Karl Marx as a supreme hedgehog and Franklin Roosevelt as a restlessly improvising fox.

The WSJ article expresses that the world’s hedgehog population tends to expand in times of stress and change. Lately, it has exploded in the U.S. with all of them advancing One Big Thing or another, each peering through the lens of a particular obsession. (Italics are mine)

The theologian Richard Niebuhr, explained it this way: “There is no greater barrier to understanding than the assumption that the standpoint which we happen to occupy is a universal one.”

Barrier to Understanding

Do you want to understand or would you rather stick with your hedgehog approach to one big standpoint? This is the difference between normal teams and great teams.

In great teams, everyone suspends their opinions and standpoints for a moment while they attempt to completely understand each members’ viewpoints. This requires that we listen to understand rather than listening to respond.

It’s a natural human trait to keep score in our head of the issues that we agree with and disagrees with while another person is explaining their viewpoint. STOP IT! It does take a great deal of energy and discipline to fully listen with the intent to understand where the other person is coming from and what is forming their opinion. It takes hard work.

Work at it! It will make you a better person and a better team.

Koosh Ball

A colleague called me the other day and asked if I had ever dealt with someone that was so convinced that their opinion and perspective was right that they never stopped talking or interrupting. And if so, how did I deal with it? My answer was a Koosh ball.

It was an exercise I often used when we had a “talker” on the team. The rules were simple:

Only the person who was in the possession of the Koosh ball could speak.
When that person was done expressing their opinion and perspective they would then decide who the Koosh ball was tossed to next.

Two things I often observed was the the “talker” still needed a signal to stop talking even though they knew the rules. I often had to put my hand up to cut them off and remind them that their job was to fully understand the perspective of the talking person. They still seemed to have a difficult time. It took hard work on everyone’s part.

The other thing I often observed was that the team was so tired of constantly hearing the talker, they would toss to anyone other than the talker. It became obvious that we were hearing the other’s perspective for the first time. Very refreshing and very empowering to everyone.

Opinion and Perspective

It’s OK to have clear and powerful opinions and perspectives. However, don’t assume that each person sees that same universe. Every person is unique and comes from individual experiences and understandings. Just look at your own family. I have three siblings. We grew up in the same household with the same parents and were only a few years apart. And yet, each of us had very unique experiences and developed a unique set of values.

That is why great teams outperform average teams and individuals. Pulling all of those experiences and unique views of the world together into a team decision is very powerful. If you haven’t experienced that, I hope you do someday.

It’s incredibly satisfying.

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Blog Culture

Noise Is Overrunning Us

by Ron Potter September 30, 2021

We recently remembered the 20th anniversary of 9/11.

I was in New York City working with a client on 9/10. Trying to get home that evening from La Guardia, we left the gate three times only to return each time for various reasons. On the last return to the gate, the pilot came over the speaker and said that anyone who wanted to get off the plane was welcome to but he was going to try to take off one more time. If I stayed on the plane and this take off didn’t work, I was unlikely to find a hotel room anywhere. I would have to spend the night in the terminal. If I stuck with it and the plane was able to take off, great. It would be late but I would get home.

We finally did take off and I arrived home about 1:30 am on 9/11. After a few hours of sleep, I awoke and watched the events of that horrible day on my TV. But I was home.

For the next several days there was not a plane in the sky. There was no noise from the jets flying overhead. It was a bit unnerving. I realized that we had become so accustomed to the noise of jets flying overhead that we just didn’t hear it anymore. Until it stopped!

That was 20 years ago. The noise in our lives has gone much beyond jets flying overhead.

Noise has Increased

The sound of jets in the sky has returned (although diminished during Covid). And once again we barely hear it anymore. But it’s a little frightening to me how much other noises have increased in our lives.

One that I find particularly annoying (although it may simply be my age) is the sound in restaurants. When I go to dinner with someone I enjoy the conversation as much as the food. However, as the noise levels of talking and laughing increase, for some reason the restaurant feels compelled to turn up the background music. If you look around, no one is listening to the music, they’re trying to talk. But because of the sound, they need to talk louder. It’s a vicious cycle and renders quiet conversations impossible. I’ve given up.

Invisible Noise

The noise that I’m worried about even more is technically not noise at all. It’s the constant distraction and overwhelming presence of email, texts, and social media, etc. Even in open-air restaurants where a conversation is possible, I see couples and families all setting together, all on their own devices. This “noise” has diminished human contact.

I’m Not A Luddite

I’m not opposed to technology. In fact, I purchased my first Blackberry in early 2000, just months after it had been introduced in late 1999. Back then I even had to search for a nationwide network for the Blackberry to run on because the phone companies had not discovered that it could be a great revenue stream for their own networks.

Overworked and Increased Stress

It was soon after that I began to hear from clients and colleagues about how overworked they were and the increase of stress in their lives. I tried to observe what was causing this feeling of being overworked and I really couldn’t see that people were working more than they always had.

What I did observe however was that they got no relief from their workload.

Prior to the availability of smartphones, people would close up shop at the end of the day (even long days), and head home for time with the family, rest, and relaxation. That wasn’t happening anymore. They felt they were suddenly on call twenty-four hours per day.

It’s not that they were working harder, it’s just that it never shut off. If they received an email from their boss late in the evening, they felt it was important (maybe even required) to respond as-soon-as-possible. This pattern interrupted their time of rest and recuperation, got them thinking and responding, and turning their work brain back on with no opportunity to recover. This “noise” of being in contact 24/7 has overrun and disrupted our lives.

The Boss is Often Not Aware

One leader I was working with had a reputation of being a demanding tyrant. I was surprised to find a very pleasant and caring person when I met her. As I began to ask those who had labeled her a tyrant about the behavior that caused that reputation, they began to talk about her 24/7 demands through email and texts. In their opinion, it never let up and was destroying their health and family life.

When I asked her about the behavior, her first response was that she had tried to make it clear that she wasn’t expecting an immediate response. However, if you’re a direct report, it’s always hard not to respond to your boss.

I encouraged her to write her thoughts as an email draft whenever she wanted to but not to hit send until either late Sunday night or early Monday morning. She was very happy to do that.

Within a week her direct reports asked what I had done because their stress levels had gone down and they didn’t feel obligated to think about work all weekend. Simple things can make big differences.

Take Control of your Life

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about not allowing technology to take over our lives. It requires personal discipline.

When you go on vacation but dedicate late night or early morning to “getting your work done” you completely override your body and mind’s need for rest and to just be unplugged. Let your boss and colleagues know that you’re going on vacation and will be unplugged for a while. For the most part, they’ll understand.

When you get back to work, delete those emails that have filled your inbox while you were gone. The really important ones will resurface.

Take control. You’re not a victim unless you choose to be. You’ll be a stronger, healthier, happier person in the end.

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Blog Leadership

Honored and Humbled

by Ron Potter August 19, 2021

This blog is personal.

Alumni of the year

I was recently honored as the Alumni of the year from my high school. I was very honored and humbled. The upbringing I had as a child doesn’t seem to be available to many people anymore. I was raised in a small rural Michigan town that was very stable. Many of my friends I knew all the way from kindergarten to high school graduation. Some of them I knew even before we started school.

One of those friends and I have occasionally wondered about what was it about our environment and upbringing that allowed us to work comfortably all over the country and world. This award forced me to get my thoughts down on paper as an answer to that question

God, Family, Friends, Mentors

As I began to collect and record my thoughts, I focused on these four elements that had made difference for me that carried me through a lifetime.

God

One summer I was attending a Christian Camp run by Bill Glass. At the time, Bill Glass was the defensive end for the Cleveland Browns. He was big and powerful, a man’s man, and had everything he needed to be a self-reliant individual. However, that week he spoke often about his total dependence on Christ being his Lord and Savior and that he would be nothing without him. His message began to sink in with me and by the end of the week, I had also accepted Christ as Savior.

On the last night of the camp, there was a great deal of singing and asking people to come forward to either declare their decisions or acknowledge that they needed to make a decision. I was in a row of about a dozen guys, standing third from the isle.

I knew I had to go forward to declare my decision but as a 14-year-old boy was struggling with the issue. Pretty soon the two guys closest to the aisle went down front. The guy to my right began nudging me saying that I needed to go down front. I kept saying that I knew I did but just needed a minute.

Finally, after one more nudge, I turned to him to tell him I knew that I did but when I turned to face him, the entire row was empty. I was the only one in the aisle! I knew right then that it wasn’t a human that was nudging me and I immediately went down front. After that my local church began to nurture me, learning more about the Lord as I grew.

Family

At the banquet were all of my siblings, one of my daughters from Tunisia (the other one was at a wedding in Colorado), and many nieces and nephews. As I looked and talked with each of them it was amazing that they all knew the Lord and were growing in him. I know that many families have difficulties and we have our share as well, but because we all know the Lord, we stay close and appreciate each other.

Friends

As I said earlier, many of my friends from high school have been my friends for my entire life. We remain amazingly close and although jobs and family took us in different directions, we still get together as often as we can. I cherish those moments and feel very blessed and loved by them. It gives me great strength.

Mentors

This one was difficult because there were so many. However, I narrowed it down to two because of time. The first one I identified was my father. I’m not sure he would have considered himself a mentor but he was to me. He had lost a leg in WWII that made his life very difficult but he never let it stop him. He started his own business that required a lot of physical effort, built his (and our) home, and raised a great family. And never once did I hear him complain!

And although he only had a high school education, he was a non-stop reader and learner. I would come home from Engineering School with a new concept I had just learned and couldn’t wait to share with him. But as soon as I did I would find out that he had been reading about the same concept and knew more about it than I did. I never could get ahead of him. The most cherished possession that I inherited was his dictionary. It is 8 x 10 in size and 8 inches thick. 8 inches thick! A dictionary.

The other mentor that came to mind for me was my high school physics teacher. There were many times when I thought he was picking on me. He would say “Potter, what’s the answer?” or “Potter, come to the board and show us how to solve this.” It just didn’t seem fair to me. Then one day I ran into him in a back hallway of our school and felt emboldened to confront him. When I asked why he seemed to be picking on me his answer was “Because you’re worth it!” He was the only high school teacher I went to visit after graduating from Engineer School.

God, Family, Friend, Mentors

As much as you might like to be, you will never be God.

Other than spouses, you can’t pick who your family will be.

That leaves friends and mentors. Cultivate friends that will tell you the truth no matter how painful that will be. Be that kind of friend to them.

Seek out mentors who will help you grow and develop. And be one yourself. Maybe it’s a friend you can mentor. Maybe it’s someone who you believe has great potential that could use your experience and care. Maybe it’s a grandchild. They look up to their grandparents whether they express it or not. Let someone else know they’re worth it!

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Blog Leadership

Leaders Don’t Lack Curiosity

by Ron Potter July 29, 2021

“Journalists were once marked by their curiosity. Now the only thing that’s curious about many of them is their lack of curiosity when a story doesn’t fit their priors.”

That is an interesting statement by Gerard Baker in the Wall Street Journal

Change in Journalistic Standards

I once read that there was a change in our journalistic schools during the Watergate Break-in when Woodward and Bernstein worked with their secretive informant that became known as Deep Throat. Their reporting eventually led to Richard Nixon’s resignation from the presidency.

The change at the journalism schools was described as a move from reporting the news to making the news. The students now felt they could become the newsmakers rather than just reporters. I believe this eventually led to Mr. Baker’s statement in the WSJ that journalists were no longer curious if the story didn’t fit their priors.

The definition in Webster’s dictionary for the word prior is: taking precedence (as in importance). This means that a journalist’s prior belief of what is right or wrong or if it is the right agenda takes precedence over being curious.

Being curious used to be what was important to report the news.

Leadership Priors

Leaders have priors. There are things they believe about leadership, their corporate mission, the marketplace, and many other spaces. However, knowing that you have those beliefs and still keeping an open mind, curious about what others think or believe is the hallmark of great leadership.

Scott Fitzgerald is quoted as saying: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” Leaders should possess first-rate intelligence. That means that opposing thoughts may both be valid.

I believe the best leaders and leadership teams should constantly be dealing with the dilemmas they face. As Fitzgerald says, that first-rate mind still retains the ability to function.

With dilemmas, there are no right and wrong answers. That’s what managers are dealing with. Leaders should be dealing with dilemmas where both answers are equally good or bad, right or wrong. “Being on the horns of a dilemma” means that you’re going to get gored either way. You’re just picking the horn that will or won’t gore you.

Leaders retain the ability to function even when faced with dilemmas!

Beliefs and Convictions

Our current society tries to lump us together in certain categories. While some of us may have very similar backgrounds, we each have a different set of beliefs and convictions.

I often ran an exercise with the teams I was working with that I called “Human Beings, not Human Doings.” At work, we’re often thought of by what we do. But if we leave our understanding strictly on what they do, not who they are, it leads to many of the conflicts and bad feelings that can happen in the workplace.

One of the topics I’ll use in the exercise is to ask “what person and/or event has shaped who you are today?”

I grew up in a very small, homogenous, rural community in southern Michigan. On the surface, it looks like all of my classmates came from the same mold. But we have each been shaped by different people and events.

For instance, I grew up with a father that had lost a leg during WWII. Of all my classmates, I was the only one with a father who only had one leg. His hard work, entrepreneurial spirit, and no complaining attitude shaped me. I had much less patience for consulting clients who tended to whine and complain and shift the blame for their own behavior.

Because of my father, my belief was that you worked hard, did your best, and took responsibility. I had a different experience than all my “homogenous” classmates. And they had different experiences than I did. We must get to know the human being, behind what they do for a living.

We are Each Unique

It’s been said that no two snowflakes are alike. I believe that about humans as well. As my brother and sisters and I have talked during our adult years, it’s obvious that each of them is unique and different from each other. And yet we grew up in the same house in the same small town with exactly the same two parents.

Get to know the human beings on your team. It will add a great deal of understanding and closeness that is needed to build great teams.

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Blog Leadership

Know or Didn’t Know

by Ron Potter April 29, 2021

In an earlier blog, I was wondering about why we didn’t have the philosophers today like the ones who were around thousands of years ago. Then I came to the conclusion that many of today’s philosophers were songwriters and singers. I zeroed in on Billy Joel in particular as a philosopher of our day.

Modern Day Philosophers

Two songwriters/singers caught my attention the other day because they seemed to be thinking about and signing about an idea from entirely different directions.

One was Rod Stewart and the group, Faces. The song is “Ooh La La”:

I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was younger
I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was stronger

The other was Bob Seger in his song, “Against the Wind”:

Wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then

I don’t know if they are on opposite ends of the same scale or just asking different questions. But if you think about these lyrics, it can create some deep thoughts.

Knew More?

Do you wish that you knew more in your youth? (When I was younger, I wished that I knew what I know now.)

On the one hand, I would say no, I don’t wish that. I believe the sense of curiosity and adventure is formed and honed when you’re young. If you were fortunate enough to have mentors that encouraged those traits, they likely served you well and created a lifelong habit of wanting to know and understand things as well as a desire to try things. When I meet people who are lacking one or both of those traits, it seems to me that they are falling short of living their life to the fullest.

On the other hand, knowing more may have helped you understand people and circumstances better. As I age, there are often times when my thoughts say, “Boy, I didn’t see that coming!”

But in general, I think that knowing more when you are younger probably feeds your ego more than your curiosity and that’s not a good thing.

Didn’t Know

Seger talks about being as naive and innocent now as when he was younger.

Again, on the one hand, it might be easier to be living the kind of life that you were when you were younger. I grew up in what I considered almost an idyllic setting. We had a small piece of property that had a stream running through it. Every time I would leave the house my mother would say “don’t get wet.” I, of course, “fell” into the stream every day. Even during Michigan winters. I also lived in a rural area and it was a three-mile bike ride to town. My biggest worry during those days was a flat tire on my bike.

On the other hand, it would almost require seclusion from the world to avoid the bigger problems of an adult. We do run into those people who have protected themselves so much from the world. They assume their experience and life is the only one or certainly, the only right one that exists. I think of those people as having and knowing a very small world.

Perspective

People with a “large world” perspective see things differently. Even if their world is physically small, they look at the bigger picture and try to understand what others are thinking from a different perspective than their own.

My father ventured beyond his physical boundaries once when he served in WWII. After the war that he had spent in North Africa and Italy, he came back to Michigan. I only remember leaving the state once during the rest of his life, but he seemed to have a big world perspective. During my college years in the Engineering School of the University of Michigan, I would learn something new about the engineering world and couldn’t wait to share it with my dad. I assumed that I would finally know something beyond his high school education in the same small town that he raised me. But it seems that whatever the topic, he would say something like “I’ve been reading a lot about that topic. What do you think this aspect means?” Of course, I didn’t know the answer because he knew more about the topic than I did. He was a very “large world” thinker. I have one cherished possession left from my father. Here is a picture of his dictionary.

Living Around the World

All four of my grandchildren have lived in different parts of the world. But just being physically worldly, doesn’t make you worldly in your thoughts or attitudes. They all see the world as large, expansive, and varied. It will serve them well.

Examine Your World View

How large is your world? Think about it! You’ll never know it all but expanding your world through curiosity, learning, and gaining understanding will keep you in a “growth mindset” which is essential for great leaders.

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Blog Culture

Unity

by Ron Potter February 25, 2021

Joe Biden’s Unity Address at the inauguration on January 20, 2021 was the title of an opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal written by their editorial board. In the opening paragraph, they write “The peaceful transfer of power from one party to another is a sign of underlying democratic strength no matter our current political distemper.”

I have always believed that this is one of the true strengths of our republic and our constitution. If you look back through history, I believe that we are the only country that has pulled off this peaceful transfer of power for over two hundred years. It makes me very proud.

Unity

But this blog is titled “Unity”, not the transfer of power.

Some of President Biden’s words were “Politics doesn’t have to be a raging fire” and “Disagreement should not lead to disunion.” Unfortunately, politics does remain a raging fire, regardless of which party is in power. But my focus here is not politics, but teams and corporate cultures. The second statement is the one I want us to hang on to because it is one of the elements of high-performance teams: “Disagreement should not lead to disunion.”

Disagreement

Some people believe that you can’t have unity if you have a disagreement. I believe the unity that comes out of trusting and respecting disagreement is the most powerful unity that you can experience. From our ancient philosophers, we find that the idea of truth, love, beauty, and unity is the highest level of happiness. I use these four concepts to help teams bring about unity from disagreement.

Truth

I’m not talking about truth being the opposite of lies. I’m talking about what you know and have experienced as your truth. I often marvel at the concept that there are no two snowflakes exactly alike. I would put forth the premise that there are no two human beings that are exactly alike.

I’m one of four siblings in my family. We all had the same father and mother. We all lived in the same house for most of our lives. We all grew up in the same small town for most of our lives. I say “most of our lives” because my father died when my youngest sister was still in her teens which altered her life a great deal. But what I have found very fascinating through our adult years is how the “truth” of those formative years was so different for each of us. I remember one discussion between myself and my siblings as adults when I finally said “Who are you talking about?” They said “Our father”. My reaction was, “That’s not the father I knew or grew up with”. Even how we ranked from youngest to oldest changed how we experienced our parents.

In order to build a strong unity, we must share with each other what we see as the truth of the situation. Both of my daughters and all four of my grandchildren have lived overseas. They have experienced different “truths”. I believe this will serve them well through life.

I’ve told this story before but it’s very powerful for me. During my consulting years, I almost always conducted a session with each team that I called “Human Beings, not Human Doings”. In these sessions, participants were asked to share about someone or some event that they know profoundly affected their lives and values. We never made it through a single session without tears flowing.

Knowing each other’s experiences, values, and truths, is the first very powerful step towards unity.

Love

The second of the unity elements was termed “love” by the Ancients. Unfortunately, that word loses something in the translation and how we think of it today. In the Greek Language which most of these ancients spoke, they have at least four words (I’ve seen as many as six) that all get translated into the word love in English. Our English is very limiting.

Philia – deep friendship. The city of Philadelphia is based on this word.
Eros – sexual passion. We get the word erotica from Eros.
Philautia – love of the self. We would translate this word as narcissism — self-obsessed and focused.
Agape – love for everyone.

Agape is the word for love that I associate with teams. I often used the word “respect” to convey this idea. Do we show respect for the other person regardless of their “truth” being in alignment with ours or not? Do we listen with the intent to understand? We didn’t have the same experiences as the other person. We must listen with a willingness to learn and understand about the background that would bring them to their truth. Only then can we begin to develop true and powerful unity.

Beauty

This is another word that’s difficult to understand in the business context. We’ve heard that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That makes beauty unique to each individual. I don’t think that works well with teams.

I’ve come to think of beauty as elegance. One definition is being pleasingly ingenious and simple. I think this definition works well with teams. Ingenuity or innovation is a very strong skill in high-performance teams. Although sometimes it seems counter-intuitive, simplicity is also a strong point for high-performance teams. Adding complexity and complications to projects or decision making is not a trait in high-performance teams.

Unity

Unity can be a hard thing to detect at times. Especially if a team is good at working through their differences. What does make unity visible is commitment. When every member of a team shows commitment to decisions made, even if they personally see things differently, that’s unity. Each member has to carefully demonstrate the commitment. For others to hear the words “Well, I don’t agree with it but that’s what we decided as a team” is not unity. But when people know that while we may have initially disagreed with the results and yet see full commitment on our part, they know that we’re committed to the team and the team’s decisions.

Truth, Love, Beauty, Unity

Truth, Respect, Elegance, Commitment

These are the elements of unity. Check your own attitude and the behavior of others with each element. Building high-performance teams require putting all of the elements in place.

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Blog Leadership

Truths of Life

by Ron Potter January 28, 2021

Truths of life can come in many forms. I found this list from Dr. Travis Bradberry to be pretty complete and comprehensive.

Great success is often preceded by failure

All too often we think that success came easy to a person. We might think they’ve always been successful and their current success is simply a continuation of that. However, it doesn’t take much discussion with successful people to hear about the failures and moments of frustration on the road to success. If you’re one of those people that think being successful just naturally happens to some, then you’re admitting that you don’t have the fortitude to live through and work through the failures in order to experience success. And to be clear, I’m not talking about large financial success. I often think of conscientious teachers who struggle and suffer wondering if they’ll ever make a breakthrough in a student’s life. They don’t always experience it but when they do have a positive impact, there’s nothing quite like it.

Being busy does not equal being productive

This one seems to be pervasive in today’s world. If people are busy all day, they think that is being productive! I’ve experienced a couple of “moments” in my life when I have worked hard at eliminating the word busy from my everyday language. I often find myself in that trap. I might think I really needed to connect with someone but was too busy to get it done. That’s just an excuse. Being too busy simply means I chose not to put an item higher on my priority list.

I was told once by a Japanese acquaintance that the word busy was made up of two symbols in their written language. The first symbol would be interpreted as a human being. The second symbol would be interpreted as a destroyer. Together the word busy would be translated as “human destroyer.” Don’t let busyness destroy you.

You’re only as good as those you associate with

We work hard at instilling this in our kids. They shouldn’t hang out with that person or crowd because they’re a bad influence on them. We seem to forget this as an adult. Even worse, we think because we’re adults we’re strong enough and wise enough to not let it happen to us. Wrong. If you don’t associate with positive, can-do people, you’ll never make it on your own. Even if it means leaving the company you work for, do it. You must hang out with people who are positive and care for you and others as valuable human beings.

You’re living the life you created

It’s easier to think of ourselves as victims of circumstances when things are not as we wish they should be. The truth is, you’ve created the life you’re living by the choices you’ve made. Maybe you can’t stomach or tolerate failure. Maybe you’re just being busy assuming that’s being productive. Maybe you’re not associating with the types of people that have your best interest at heart. You’ve made these decisions! You’ve created this life. Don’t blame others or circumstances.

Fear is the number one source of regret

Fear of failure. Fear of loss. Fear of what others might think of you. Fear of change. These are the things that kept you from doing things but that bring you regret now.

You don’t have to wait for an apology to forgive

Lack of forgiveness is like cancer. It will eat your insides out. If you need an apology before you forgive then it’s not really forgiveness anyway. It’s simply a barter. Forgiveness is not bartered.

Live in the moment

Bradberry says “No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future.” I don’t live in the past. There is nothing you can do about it so why worry about it. However, I’m really bad about living in the future. I don’t believe I’m anxious about it, but I think more about the future than I do about the moment. I’ve missed a lot along the way by living too much in the future.

Your self-worth must come from within

You know those people who seem to be worried more about what people think, what people might think, or how they think others view them. There is no value in this kind of worry. If you’re not comfortable with who you are it won’t make a difference anyway. Remember, you’re living the life you created.

Life is short

This one is so much clearer the older we get. Wise people don’t need to get physically old before they realize this. Life is short. Don’t waste your time being busy. Don’t waste your time with a priority list that is not important to you. Live life in the moment.

Change is inevitable—embrace it

Life doesn’t happen in straight lines. It’s constantly changing. It can easily throw you out of your comfort zone. But it’s inevitable. The sooner you realize that the easier it is to handle change. Make the right decisions. But don’t regret it if you don’t make the right decision. That’s in the past; there is nothing you can do about it. Life is short. Live it in the moment. It will be a different moment tomorrow!

A list of ten is too big of a number for most of us to keep track of and remember each day. Pick one or two of these truths. Use those to be a better person and to live a more enjoyable life. The one or two might change over time but concentrate on a couple that are creating more discomfort for you than they should. Then live an enjoyable life.

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Blog Leadership

Emotion, Humility, Humanity

by Ron Potter January 21, 2021

Howie Mandel, the comedian, identified these three traits of people who changed the world. More than a comedian, I have always found Howie to be a deep thinker as well. These were identified in a youtube video by Howie.

Emotion

We often think of emotion as something inside of us and very personal in nature. In fact, it has more to do with communication.

Even as I work with a team that has developed an app for being a better team, it seems like every day we find ourselves talking about how we should communicate with people who may be interested in our app. We talk about communicating with emotion. If people don’t feel the message, if our words don’t invoke a deep connection, they’re just words. A software app lends itself to communication with logic but people seldom remember logical statements. They decide right from the beginning if they agree with the logic or not. If they agree, then they don’t feel like they’re learning anything new. If they don’t agree, the words are almost immediately shut off and seldom remembered. Communicating with logic doesn’t create much movement.

Communication with emotion creates a deep need to listen and learn. Emotion is about communication.

Humility

Humility should not be a new concept to you, the reader of this blog. We’ve talked about the need for humility many times. It is number one on my list of great leadership traits. Humility says we’re all in this together—let’s figure it out together! Lack of humility is ego. Ego says “I have all the answers—listen to me and do what I say. I’m smarter than you.”

Humility says I don’t have all the answers. Humility wants to know what the other person thinks and gives that information equal status. They may have a better idea. They certainly have a point of view that makes others think and see things in a different way.

Humility listens to other people with the intention to understand. People feel heard. It makes people want to be more of a participant. Humility is powerful.

Humanity

I’ve written in previous blogs about an exercise I used when working with teams. I called the exercise “Human beings, not human doings.”

I always started the session with a couple of simple rules:

Listen with the Intent to Understand. You could ask questions, but only to clarify or increase your understanding. No advice was to be offered, just listen.
Put away anything you may have in front of you: papers, reports, and most importantly phones. Pay attention to the other person.

The process was simple. I asked each person to share a person or event that has deeply shaped their values. We never ended a single meeting without tears. It deeply affected people. They were being Human Beings. It was not about what they did or what was their title. This was exposing their humanity.

These three things: Emotion, Humility, and Humanity were three traits that Howie Mandel claimed were possessed by people who had changed the world!

I agree. We may define your world as your team. We may think of an impact on the whole world. But without these three, you don’t have a chance to influence either.

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