Team Leadership Culture
  • Team
  • Leadership
  • Culture
  • Myers-Briggs
  • Trust Me
  • Short Book Reviews
Top Posts
Obituary
REPOST: Four Functions, Three Rules
ROUNDUP: The Rise of AI
REPOST: Facing Adversity Series
ROUNDUP: Curiousity
ROUNDUP: Deep Work
REPOST: Character vs. Competence
REPOST: Opposite of Victim
REPOST: Listening With the Intent to Understand
REPOST: Performance vs Trust
  • About
  • Services
  • Resources
    • Trust Me
    • Short Book Reviews
  • Contact

Team Leadership Culture

  • Team
  • Leadership
  • Culture
  • Myers-Briggs
  • Trust Me
  • Short Book Reviews
Tag:

Conflict

Absurd!BlogIn-Depth Book Reviews

Absurd!: Most Problems are Not Problems

by Ron Potter April 7, 2016

95cdfeefI’m continuing my series on an in-depth look at a wonderful little book that’s twenty years old this year.  The title is Management of the Absurd by Richard Farson.  You may want to consider dropping back and reading the previous posts about ABSURD!  I think it will put each new one in great context.

Chapter 6 is titled: Most Problems That People Have are Not Problems

Farson calls this problems vs predicaments.  Problems can be solved; predicaments can only be coped with.  He goes on to say “Most of the affairs of life, particularly the most intimate and important ones are complicated, inescapable dilemmas – predicaments where no options look very good or better than any others.”

Horns of a dilemma

To me the key word is right in the middle of that statement: dilemmas!  You’ve heard the old adage “on the horns of a dilemma.”  It literally meant for you to think about your predicament as the horns of a bull.  The reality is that you’re going to get gored either way!  All you can do is to pick which horn will do the goring.

Right vs Right

In his book Primes Chris McGoff describes these issues as “right vs right.”  They are not right vs wrong, that’s a problem to be fixed.  They are right vs right.  Either way is equally right (or wrong) but you have no other options, you must choose one direction and commit to it.

Solving a Predicament makes it worse

Farson continues to say, “A problem is created by something going wrong, by a mistake, defect, disease, or a bad experience.  When we find the cause, we can correct it.  A predicament, however, paradoxical as it may seem, is more likely to be created by conditions that we highly value.  That is why we can only cope with it.  Thus, a predicament is often made worse when we treat it as a problem.”

Frame the Issue Properly

In the corporate world most predicaments and dilemmas are framed as right vs wrong problems.  People end up on one side or the other and will argue in favor of their point of view and the demise of the opposing point of view.  But as Farson states that makes the issue all that much worse.

Be very careful to frame your issue correctly.  Is it a problem that can actually be fixed?  Or should we understand it as a predicament or dilemma that requires choosing between two rights or two wrongs?  If we can only frame it properly we’ll be much more successful at coping with difficult situations.

0 comments
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogTeam

Conflict: Having A Good Fight

by Ron Potter March 31, 2016
4503517064_4c5558538b_o

Source: MartialArtsNomad.com, Creative Commons

I recently started working with a new leadership team and I was interviewing each member to get a feel for the current conditions on the team. While they all spoke of how nice it was to work for this company and with this team, several of them said something to the effect that “we just haven’t been able to have a good fight yet.” I don’t think anyone was itching for a fight but they were longing for the tough debates about either controversial issues or issues where there seemed to be lack of alignment. Soon after that interview an interesting article popped up on LinkedIn written by Dr. Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0. Dr. Bradberry starts his article with “When you’re a nice person, conflict can be a real challenge.” What really made me smile was his next line, “Not that mean people are any better at conflict, they just enjoy it more.” I like working with nice people but I really enjoy working with nice people who are really good at conflict.

Conflict is a needed ingredient

On high performance teams, conflict is a needed ingredient. I’m talking about conflict of ideas, experiences, assumptions, outlooks, beliefs, etc. It’s the richness of diversity of thought that is necessary for teams to become high performance teams. But diversity without well managed conflict will only lead to the splintering of teams into different camps.
Many of Dr. Bradberry’s suggestions are useful:

Consider the repercussions of silence

Often it just seems easier to be quiet and not bring up your objections or different point of view. However, not bringing them up is a decision in itself. You’ve just traded off the cost of dealing with it now vs the cost that will come with the ramifications down the road. The later costs are always higher than the present ones.

Don’t speak in absolutes

I’ve seen this one escalate arguments quickly. “You always” or “You Never” seem to trigger primal reactions in us that will lead to and grow a fight quicker than almost any other response.

Ask good questions until you get the heart of the matter

One of the books that recently went up on my reading list is “The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More and Change the Way you Lead Forever”. Using good questions is the best way to lead and deal with conflict. Stay curious my friend.
Dr. Bradberry includes several other suggestions that you may want to dig into. But I’ll close this blog with a thought from Dr. Scott Peck in his book “The Road Less Traveled.” His belief is that at the root of mental illness is the avoidance of pain and suffering. You may avoid the pain and suffering in the moment but if you can’t have that good fight, it will lead to a highly dysfunctional team rather than a high performance team.

0 comments
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
Absurd!BlogIn-Depth Book Reviews

Absurd!: Exploring Management of the Absurd

by Ron Potter February 4, 2016

lIZrwvbeRuuzqOoWJUEn_Photoaday_CSD (1 of 1)-5I picked up small book off my bookshelf this week that is twenty years old.  When I say it’s small I mean in size (small format and just 172 pages) not stature or content.  It is a profound book and should not be forgotten.  I don’t know if it every achieved numerical success but the forward was written by Michael Crichton (the late author who wrote books such as The Andromeda Strain, Jurassic Park and others). That should have gotten the attention of a lot of people.

The title of the book is Management of the Absurd: Pardoxes in Leadership by Richard Farson.  You’ll find it on my Reading List but as I said, it’s twenty years old so you may not have spotted it.  But this book is timeless.

Just look at a few of these chapter titles:

  • Nothing is as invisible as the Obvious
  • Effective Managers Are Not in Control
  • Most Problems That People Have are Not Problems
  • Technology Creates the Opposite of Its Intended Purpose

If you’re like me these titles grab you before you’ve read one word in the chapter.  I wish I was as good at creating grabbing titles as this.

I haven’t done this before but I’m going to spend some time going through Management of the Absurd with you.  I’ll capture a few thoughts and lines from various chapters and talk about the timeless nature of the principle.  I believe you’ll begin to see that the truths that guide good management and leadership are ageless and should frequently remind us of the seemingly absurd nature of good leadership.

Chapter one is titled “The Opposite of a Profound Truth is Also True.”  And in the first few paragraphs Farson reminds us that:

“We have been taught that a thing cannot be what it is and also its opposite.”

This belief that if my position or perspective is true than yours must be false leads to an incredible amount of conflict, strife and division within organizations.

F. Scott Fitzgearld reminds us:

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”

Now I think having a first-rate intelligence would be a great starting point for a good leader but notice that I don’t say a high IQ.  There has never been any correlation found between IQ and success and one measure of a great leader is achieving success.  So it’s not IQ, its intelligence.  Don’t believe that the opposite of a profound truth, your truth, is not also true.

In his book The Primes, Chris McGoff points out that often when teams don’t seem to be able to reach a decision it’s because they are assuming they’re in a right vs wrong argument when in reality they’re in a right vs right argument.  The opposite of a profound truth is also true.  Great leaders realize that they are often choosing between right vs right, not right vs wrong.  Assuming everything is a right vs wrong argument is childish.  Great leaders are also mature.

Don’t let your leadership or management style look like it has the maturity of a teenager.  Realize that even though you may hold the truth on a topic, others on your team also hold the truth.  Bring all the truth’s out together and then decide which direction the team should take.

1 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogQualities of a Caring LeaderTrust Me

Qualities of a Caring Leader: Confrontation

by Ron Potter January 25, 2016

photo-1414058862086-136de6c98e99Over the next few weeks, our Trust Me posts will explore the qualities of a caring leader. We explored the first quality – Understanding here. Then we took a look at the second quality – Concern. Communication was the third quality. And today we discuss Confrontation.

Part of leading is confronting people and urging them toward better performance.
Confrontation does not involve giving a report on another person’s behavior. It means offering feedback on the other’s role or response. Its goal, in the business environment, is to bring the employee, boss, or peer face to face with issues (behavior, emotions, achievement) that are being avoided.
For us to be effective in confrontation, we need to focus on four things:

Balanced truth

You cannot confront someone on hearsay alone. Get the facts. Investigate the matter; check it out. There are always two sides to every story. What are they? Neither one is likely to be the “complete” truth. Look for the balanced story.

Right timing

We recently witnessed a near catastrophe. A client of ours was going to confront a customer. The customer had called the day before and verbally leveled several people on our friend’s staff. Our client was going to call the customer and confront him with some brutal truth: “Everyone in the office is afraid of you and doesn’t want to talk to you because of your aggressive style and attitude.” Just before our client was to make the call, someone in the office discovered that the customer’s wife had colon cancer and possibly multiple sclerosis. The customer was suffering right along with his wife, in addition to trying to be both Dad and Mom to the kids, coaching a sports team, and running a tough business. Instead of calling to confront the customer with the brutal facts, our client decided to confront him with care and sympathy.
Many situations will not be this clear-cut. The right timing may be harder to gauge. For sure, though, it is best to deal with a situation when the heat of the moment has passed. Having the courage and taking the time to come back to it after emotions have subsided is actually quite difficult. There never seems to be the same urgency later, but good leaders force themselves to pick up the issue at a better moment. When it is the right time to confront, the green lights will be flashing. Until then, hold on.

Wise wording

We suggest that you carefully plan what you will say when you confront someone. A proverb says, “Timely advice is as lovely as golden apples in a silver basket. Valid criticism is as treasured by the one who heeds it as jewelry made from finest gold.” Words have the power to destroy or heal. Choose them carefully when entering in to confrontation.

Fearless courage

Don’t fall back in fear when you need to confront someone. If you have assembled the truth, believe it is the right moment, and have carefully prepared what you will say, move forward and confront. As Roger Clemens did with Curt Schilling, press on: “How can I help this person be better, regardless of how I feel?” It may mean finding a more productive or satisfying place for the person—even if it’s with another company. In the end this option is better for the organization and, in most cases, for the other person. What is worse is allowing a person to continue in a harmful behavior or self-destructive attitude.

0 comments
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
Newer Posts
Older Posts
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkedin
  • Rss
  • About This Site
  • About
    • Clients
  • Services
  • Resources
    • Trust Me
    • Short Book Reviews
  • Contact

About this Site | © 2024 Team Leadership Culture | platform by Apricot Services


Back To Top
Team Leadership Culture
  • Team
  • Leadership
  • Culture
  • Myers-Briggs
  • Trust Me
  • Short Book Reviews
 

Loading Comments...