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Teams Under Pressure

by Ron Potter July 11, 2016

The Discovery Channel recently featured a program about a pride of fearsome lions. The documentary illustrated what happens when the leader is no longer able to preserve order and calm.

In one scene the lioness-leader of the pride is leading the hunt of a zebra. As she chases her prey, the frightened zebra jumps over a log at the very same time the lioness is trying to bring it down from behind. As they both leap, the zebra winds up violently kicking the lioness-leader in the head, inflicting a severe wound.

Over the next few weeks, the culture of the pride changes significantly. The lioness-leader becomes fearful and, because of the event with the zebra, shies away just at the moment of the kill. The pride gets visibly angry with her; they are hungry, and the lioness’s traumatic experience has demolished the familiar, effective structure of the pride. She is no longer securing food. Her fear and tentative behavior have created chaos and caused a dysfunctional team that is confused and threatened by starvation.

During times of chaos and confusion, leaders can either be peacemakers, which will bring a calm that pulls the team together, or they can let a “kick to the head” at a decisive moment cause them to pull back, which will cause disruption, loss of morale, and uncertainty.

In my work with clients, most of the questions I receive concern how to find the key that opens the door to a successful team. Often the organization is in turmoil. It needs peace. It wants teamwork to lead the way out and beyond the current situation.

Peacemakers encourage teamwork. They seek group dynamics that unleash the right kind of power and the right attitude to achieve the best results.

So many books, articles, and seminars are developed to help leaders understand how to build teams. It’s ironic that on a moment’s notice during a terrible crisis several people facing impossible odds came together and built a successful team.

In what the news headlines called “The Miracle at Quecreek,” nine miners, trapped for three days 240 feet underground in a water-filled mine shaft, “decided early on they were either going to live or die as a group.”

The fifty-five-degree water threatened to kill them slowly by hypothermia, so according to one news report, “When one would get cold, the other eight would huddle around the person and warm that person, and when another person got cold, the favor was returned.”

“Everybody had strong moments,” miner Harry B. Mayhugh told reporters after being released from Somerset Hospital in Somerset, Pennsylvania. “But any certain time maybe one guy got down, and then the rest pulled together. And then that guy would get back up, and maybe someone else would feel a little weaker, but it was a team effort. That’s the only way it could have been.”

They faced incredibly hostile conditions together, and they all came out alive together.

The Quecreek story pretty well illustrates ideal team dynamics. Being a contributor on an effective team and working together to accomplish a meaningful mission is a deep desire of many. It’s up to the peacemaking leader to coach that team…of so many dreams.

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Putting ICE on it: Are Leaders Made or Born?

by Ron Potter July 1, 2016

I have worked with many leaders and many future leaders who believe that people are born with leadership skills. Some just “have it” and others don’t seem to have “it” or at least enough of it. For those who don’t have a belief one way or the other, they are often asking the question “Are leaders made or born?” The question often seems to be a self-reflective one, wondering if they have it or not.

Just having the open question often leaves leaders and teams hobbling around like they had a sprained ankle. So, what do we do to help sooth a sprained ankle? Put ICE on it!

I = Intelligence Quotient

From the time we started in school we have known about or had questions about IQ. How smart are you? Do you have a high IQ? Are you going to come up short in life if you don’t have that high IQ? IQ has been with us for a long time and here’s a few things we know about it:

IQ is often static throughout your lifetime and doesn’t seem to change much with learning.
It also seems to have many correlative factors such as: income, demographics, environmental factors, and can be influenced by hereditary or genetic factors.
But most importantly we have never found any correlation between IQ and success.

C = Cognitive Function

Cognitive Functions are not static. They will grow and develop over time and with age. However, don’t assume that aging alone will increase your Cognitive Function. Gray hair also comes with aging but that doesn’t make you any wiser. You need to intentionally practice and get better at your Cognitive Functions that include:

Focus: the ability to keep your attention focused on an issue in order to properly grabble with it. Lack of focus and interrupted attention are two prevalent problems I see in corporate leadership today.
Perception: That ability to understand that your perception of a problem or issue is just that, a perception. Individuals high in Cognitive Function seem to have the capacity to deal with many perceptions to an issue and hold them in high regard as they sort through difficult issues.
Executive Skills: This interestingly named function has to do with the brain’s frontal lobe and deals with decision making skills among others.

E = Emotional Intelligence

This function was put forth by Daniel Goleman in the early 2000’s and has proved to be highly correlated to good leadership. Elements that Goleman identified included the 5 S’s of:

Self-Awareness
Self-Regulation
Self-Motivation
Social Awareness
Social Skills

These skills are also skills that can be grown and developed over time. With practice you can increase and improve each one of these.

ICE = IQ + CQ + EQ

These are the elements of great leadership. And IQ is the only one we’re born with and also seems to be the least impactful on our success as a leader. Average IQ is all you need. Developing high CQ and EQ will turn you into a great leader.

Leaders are self-made!

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Blog Trust Me

Creativity out of Chaos

by Ron Potter June 27, 2016

A certain amount of chaos is necessary because “quality” chaos stimulates creativity. Organizations that do not create some space for creative chaos run the risk of experiencing staleness, loss, and even death.

“Life exists at the edge of chaos,” writes Stuart Kauffman, author of At Home in the Universe: The Search for the Laws of Self-Organization and Complexity. “I suspect that the fate of all complex adapting systems in the biosphere—from single cells to economies—is to evolve to a natural state between order and chaos, a grand compromise between structure and surprise.”
If a leader fears the creative tension caused by chaos, trouble is often not far away. Leaders need to understand that creativity comes out of chaos, and even what has been created needs to be exposed to chaos just to make sure it is still viable and working. Even the new creation may need the chaos of re-creation to survive in a highly competitive world.
Meg Wheatley writes in her book Leadership and the New Science,

“The things we fear most in organizations—fluctuations, disturbances, imbalances—are also the primary sources of creativity.”

The question is, how do leaders get people from the scary, agonizing, and anxiety-filled feelings of chaos to the liberating place of creativity, change, and steadiness?
Before we answer that question, we do need to look at creativity and chaos. The reality of today’s world is that millions of ideas for innovation, change, and improvement lie within any factory, distribution center, high-tech office, retail storefront, or operations center. You can also multiply that number by millions (or so it seems) when you bring people together in a team setting and allow them the freedom to create, innovate, and change. In many organizations this causes chaos and uncertainty.
Leaders, then, who understand the positive side of chaos can begin leading people through the confusing maze that creativity causes. They can help people understand that disruptions are opportunities. They can focus their attention on a building a culture that understands change and brings teams together, creating synergy among the members. These leaders explain how necessary it is for a company to respond to change in order to remain competitive.
Leaders help their employees understand the chaos going on around them by making meaning out of it. It is not easy, but it is so very necessary. “Leaders must have the ability to make something happen under circumstances of extreme uncertainty and urgency. In fact leadership is needed more during times of uncertainty than in times of stability: when confusion over ends and means abounds, leadership is essential.”

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Absurd!Blog In-Depth Book Reviews

Absurd!: The One thing you can do that helps solve most difficult issues!

by Ron Potter June 24, 2016

I’m continuing my series on an in-depth look at a wonderful little book that’s twenty years old this year. The title is Management of the Absurd by Richard Farson. You may want to consider dropping back and reading the previous posts about ABSURD! I think it will put each new one in great context.

In Communication, Form is More Important Then Content

I often find myself working with teams on difficult issues.

There may be conflict or unresolved issues.
Someone is not performing and it’s impacting the performance of the entire team.
The leader just isn’t listening to the concern or even opportunity that the team is seeing.
The leader isn’t dealing with a person who’s in over their head.
The list goes on…..

Our author of Management of the Absurd makes a couple of key observations:

When we witness a red-faced executive shouting, “Who’s excited? I’m not excited!” we realize that the feeling is much more important than the words. That’s why in all communication it’s crucial to listen to the music as well as the lyrics, the feeling behind the words as well as the words themselves.

And

In all of life, the metamessage tends to be more powerful than the message itself.

I think we all know that on an intellectual basis. But what do we do about it? I’ve found one simple adjustment that makes a profound difference…. remove the table!

Yup, that’s the one thing that I have experienced that helps me deal with difficult issues, remove the table. As soon as I set a team down in a circle with nothing but chairs, the mood immediately changes. I often get those nervous comments like “Boy, are we in trouble now.” Or “This certainly makes me feel a little vulnerable (or naked).” People seem to immediately know that this is different. The table offers us a shield. Position at the table has connotations. I can slip my phone over the edge of the table and no one will know I’m checking email (Ha!). Sitting in open chairs levels the playing field. It exposes all of our body language. We can’t hide. We need to be REAL with each other.

I’ve experienced some of the deepest sharing and resolution of many deep issues when we work without the net of a table between us. All of a sudden people are listening more with an intent to understand rather than respond. I will often hear comments like “Now I understand”, “I never knew that” or “I can see why you would believe that.”

Our author closes this section with the statement “All of this teaches us that we may be so concerned about the content of what we say or write that we often forget the form. When they are taken into account, it is possible to send metamessages that are consonant with the intended message and reinforce rather than undermine it.”

The metamessage counts more than the content. Take the table away. Even in a figuratively sense. When you’re dealing with difficult issues and send that email or leave that voicemail, leave the metamessage, not just the content.

So, how do you remove the table when the team meeting is being conducted via a phone or video conference? Sorry, that one will have to wait for a future blog.

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Blog Trust Me

Calming Chaos

by Ron Potter June 20, 2016

The world we live in is chaotic. A great leader learns how to leverage chaos into creativity, to bring a sense of tranquility to a crazy world.

Dealing with new technology, profit expectations, continual new-product development, the fickle shopper, and global competitors and global teams requires perpetual change and lightning-fast reactions. Markets change, old competitors consolidate, new competitors emerge, and attempts at re-engineering threaten our daily bread. Both leaders and employees can soon feel under siege and at the mercy of chaos.

A creative, energy-filled calm is what we need. A word picture may aid our understanding of this. Imagine you are a surfer. There you are with your board, waiting for the “big one.” If you are in Hawaii, the waves you are playing in might rise to twenty feet. All around you is surging, frothy chaos. Currents, tides, and the weather have combined to create a uniquely unstable environment. Conditions are always changing; every moment the ocean is different. If you try to catch a wave exactly the way you did yesterday, you will take a hard fall. You must stay alert and react quickly to every nuance of water, tide, and wind.

Gutsy leaders confront chaos. No one who is content to just paddle a surfboard beyond where the waves break has ever caught a “big one.” Neither has such a person ever wiped out. If you want to ride a wave, you have to enter into the chaos. If you panic while riding a big wave, you are sure to wipe out. If you stay calm, you can have a wonderful ride while tons of water crash down around you.

Creating calm in the office requires a similar ability to assess the environment, to act quickly, and to stay calm. The economy, products, competitors, consumers, and employees all constantly change. Someone has to have answers; someone must be an independent thinker, able to calmly think things through.

I’m familiar with a banker who had a client ready to sell a branch location of his business. The main location seemed to be prospering, but this particular branch appeared to be a drain on energy, time, and resources. The business owner was upset, but the banker remained calm. He took the time to analyze the underlying causes of the owner’s problems. He visited the location, recast the numbers, and advised the owner not to sell the branch but to move and resurrect it. In reality, the branch location was producing extra cash, and the owner, following the banker’s advice, turned his entire business around.

People will follow leaders who stay steady in the turbulence and work with them to create new answers, new plans, and a new future.

Whatever you do, don’t slip into what we call the “arsonist’s response to chaos.”

The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported that firefighters in Genoa, Texas, were accused of deliberately setting more than forty destructive fires. When caught, they stated, “We had nothing to do. We just wanted to get the red lights flashing and the bells clanging.”

Do you know any leaders who intentionally start “fires” so they can get the “red lights flashing and hear the sirens”?

Leaders in a client’s organization proudly described themselves as “firefighters.” They were proud of the fact that they were good at hosing down crises. But when they were asked, “Is it possible you might also be arsonists?” it caused a great deal of reflection within the company.

The goal is a creative, steady productivity—not an out-of-control environment that squanders energy and resources on crisis management.

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Blog Myers-Briggs

Lights! Camera! Action! An Introvert Living in an Extraverted World

by Ron Potter June 16, 2016

My friend Mark Storrs sent me a note saying how much he identified with the post about an Introvert living in an Extraverted world. Mark has years of experience in learning & development and communications and is currently a Human Resources Business Partner for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan so I was very interested in his thoughts. I asked him to send me a story and the following is what he shared with me. He said “I witnessed a technical lead providing a project update to the executive team, and I watched how nervous he was, how his leader was coaching and supporting him.” I think it’s a great story.

“You’re doing a great job working on the project. I’d like you to present a strategy and status update to the executive team.”

We’ve all been there. Writing code for a new application your company is working on. Supporting a major project behind the scenes. Perhaps even informally leading a small team on that project. Then the unthinkable happens… you get recognized for your work, and your boss wants you to take what is often seen as the next logical step – visibility with leadership. But you’re an introvert and you don’t see visibility as the next step. That’s somebody else’s job. You’re perfectly happy in your behind-the-scenes individual contributor role.

[Oh no, I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that! You can’t make me!!]

“No, that’s not necessary. But I’ll be glad to write something up for you, and you can present.”

“No really. I want you to give the update to the project sponsors.”

[OH NO!!!!]

And there you are. You’re stuck. You can’t get out of it. You have to present. Now comes the stress…

[How detailed do I have to be?]
[What should I wear? I don’t want to be too casual, but I don’t want it to look like I’m trying too hard.]
[Can I use notes and talk from them? Or do I have to memorize it all?]
[But if I memorize it, I’ll sound like a robot!]
[It’s 3am and my presentation is in 6 hours! I’m not ready!]
[I haven’t had any sleep. Surely they’ll see bags under my eyes.]
[Must get to sleep… wait! What if I oversleep???!!!]

“Good morning. I want to give you a status update on Project X…”

[They hate me already.]
[And they deserve to hate me. I’m a fraud. I shouldn’t be up here.]
[I wonder if I sound too rehearsed? Be natural…be natural.]
[I can feel the sweat. I wonder if they can see me sweating?]
[The VP is checking her phone – she’s bored! I’m such a fraud!]

“And that concludes my update. Any questions?”

[Please, dear Lord, don’t let there be any questions!!]
[This awkward silence is deafening! It must be 30 minutes now!]
[Whew, I’m glad that was over. I bombed! Well the good thing is I won’t have to do that again.]

And that’s how it is for an introvert who’s taking those first steps in an extroverted world. A terrifying experience! But with these type of presentations being part of the next step up the corporate ladder, just what is an introvert to do?

So many times, we think we have to change our personalities to do something new like this. But that’s just not realistic. An extreme introvert is simply not going to just change and be bubbly and outgoing simply because there’s a change in job responsibilities. It’s just not going to happen. The trick is to not focus on changing yourself, but to think of yourself as an actor. That’s right – you’re an actor playing a role! You’re an introvert playing the role of an extrovert!

Think about it. Actors embrace different characters, put on different personalities. And that’s just what you’re doing here. You’re embracing the role of a presenter, giving an update about the project that you’re an expert on.

And just like actors, you have to practice at it to get good. An actor doesn’t just start out on Broadway or in a blockbuster film. They have to hone their craft. They go to acting classes, participate in different workshops focusing on various aspects of acting, learn from other actors, etc. They have to get comfortable with acting.

It’s the same for an introvert who finds him/herself in the strange new world of extroverts. You go to class… Study up on personality styles, read up on meeting facilitation techniques, learn how to use your introverted nature as a strength in developing your own presentation style. Watch other presenters, see how they make eye contact, work the room, engage all participants. Ask others to be your practice audience, give the presentation to them and then absorb their feedback like an actor does with his acting coach.

Your acting career starts out slow, with small presentations. You’ll be nervous, you may even fumble a little. And that’s OK. Because like an actor, you learn from those early experiences, you develop your own “acting” style, and you get better. One presentation at a time.

Over time you find yourself getting more and more comfortable in this new world of extroverts. You may even get to a point where you fool some into thinking you’re one of them. But deep down you know you’re not.

You’re just an actor.

Mark may not know it but a large portion of stand-up comedian performers identify with the Introverted side of the scale. And they’re really good! Introverts can be very entertaining, even in an extraverted world.

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Blog Favored Trust Me

Favored Are Those Who Calm the Waters

by Ron Potter June 13, 2016

A passionate man turns even good into evil and easily believes evil; a good, peaceable man converts all things into good.
—Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

Does it seem puzzling to find the term peacemaker included in a list of qualities necessary for a trusted leader? Does peace sound a bit too passive in today’s business environment?
We are desperately in need of some peace and quiet. Work—all of life—is more stressful than ever before. James Citrin writes:

Late nights in the office. Early mornings to clear overnight e-mails. Weekends to catch up on all the things you didn’t have time to do during the week. Most people in business simply cannot work harder or faster than they are at present—we’re all sprinting just to keep up. As the old saw says, the race goes to the swift. And in the now-distant boom times, being first to market and hurrying obsessively to get out ahead made working in overdrive the norm.
But in our collective rush to get ahead, maybe we have lost something…certain actions, decisions, and initiatives do have their own rhythms, and we should be sensitive to them. Don’t you agree that on some days, things just flow, while on other days, no matter how hard you push, things just don’t move forward?

A peacemaker is a leader who seeks to create calm within the storms of office politics, decision making, shareholder demands, cash-flow crunches, and the endless change of things the organization cannot control such as the economy, the weather, the fleeting loyalty of today’s consumer, and a host of other constantly evolving issues.

One of the jobs of a leader is to prepare the organization for times of great demand. There have been many studies on the effects of overtime work. When additional hours of work are initially introduced, productivity climbs. However, research also shows that if the overtime continues for more than about two months, productivity falls back to its original level in spite of the additional hours worked. Leaders who neglect to give the organization rest will not be prepared when the real push comes. And, in fact, they are not getting a good return on their investment by keeping everyone working long hours over extended periods of time.

Leaders need to know when to let the organization (people) slow down and rest a bit so that they are ready to go when those two or three tough times during the year require that extra effort.

Take a look at your world. Some people on your team are fed up with the daily push and shove. They are overworked and worn out. They feel vulnerable and fearful, and they are seeking personal peace to do a job they feel they can do but for whatever reason cannot.
A good leader knows the value of bringing some calm to stressful situations. As Jesus once said to those under his leadership, “Peace I leave with you.… Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Peace means equilibrium, understanding, justice, mercy, caring, and harmony. To be a peacemaker means to quench the desire for revenge and replace it with the desire to put others first for their well-being.

However, peacemaking does not mean seeking peace at any cost, for the peacemaker realizes that peace at any price will usually result in events that are anything but peaceful. A peacemaker is not an appeaser. He or she is not a person who is easy to shove around and who refuses to take a position. We are not talking about wimpy leaders who avoid confrontation. Quite the contrary. A peacemaker understands the positive role of conflict in building a solid team. A peacemaker is one who through strength and knowledge establishes good relationships between estranged parties—relationships based on truth and fairness.

Peacemaking leaders encourage open discussion and honest debate, which actually improves relationships. Harmony comes from the trust that is developed, not from the suppression of discussion and debate. In fact, great peacemaking leaders create more energized debate than normal.

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Blog Team

What Would Jack Welch Do?

by Ron Potter June 9, 2016

Rich Hill is a friend, colleague and mentor of mine. Along with being a great consultant and coach to many recognizable companies, Rich was also the Executive Director of the Dow Leadership Center at Hillsdale College and the Director of Human Resources for General Electric Plastics when Jack Welch took over the division. In essence, he was one of Jack’s first HR directors.

Rich dropped me this note the other day:

I really like the post on Mentally Ill Teams. How many times have I seen these dynamics exist in my many years of work with organizations? The point of “The attempt to avoid the suffering simply causes more and deeper suffering” is so true.

Rich goes on to talk about a process he titled “Contracting for Change”. Notice a couple of elements of the process as he explains it:

One of the key elements in the process was putting charts up on the wall for each team player with three columns:

Things I should do more of/or better

Things I should do less of

Things I do well and should not change.

Each chart had additional columns to assess the Priority of each response relative to Top Priority or secondary Priority. Each of the other team players were given tags to write on for each of the three elements. Feedback!

Once all the feedback tags were up on each person’s chart the entire team moves to a given chart and the owner of that chart first suggests what the comment means to him or her and then asks for individual clarification of the statements – such as

Can you give me a specific example?

Where have you seen this characteristic in play?

We used these clarification statements especially if the owner’s interpretation didn’t quite square with the person who put the tag point up. This approach assures better mutual understanding by all members of the team.

Rich goes on to explain the next step of prioritization on the Do More Of and Do Less Of columns only done by all other team members, not the person’s own chart.

But I think the next step was the most powerful:

The next step deals with negotiating the key items on given charts to enhance both individual and team effectiveness (emphasis mine). If successful, the final understanding is put into a written contract between the parties. 90 days out we reconvene the teams and go over contracts to see how much progress was made. I used it with several organizations and always got good results.
As you can imagine there was some suffering as a result of the clarity of issues between people, but it often led to good results.

I don’t really know what Jack Welch would do in this case, but I do know what one of his first HR directors would do. Working with executives at the level where Rich worked probably made the statement “some suffering” a bit of an understatement. But the power of feedback and dealing with the direct pain and suffering cannot be denied or overlooked as a powerful tool for leadership and team improvement.

Thanks Rich, I really appreciate the time you took to send some feedback.

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Blog Trust Me

The Integrity of Quality

by Ron Potter May 30, 2016

Many believe that quality and productivity will define the economics of the twenty-first century. One of the principal events of the last century was Japan’s postwar emergence as an economic superpower. This came about primarily because of the quality revolution among Japanese manufacturers of automobiles and electronics, who zoomed past their American counterparts as consumers demonstrated with their wallets a preference for imports and the quality (perceived or real) of the products brought to the marketplace. In the process, American companies exported millions of jobs and, at the same time, were jolted into the reality that American consumers wanted, and even demanded, the highest quality.

To stop the outflow of consumer dollars, American manufacturers instituted many programs to improve quality. Total Quality Management (TQM) became more than just a popular catch phrase. It became a process driver for hundreds of companies and the focus of many leaders.

Authors Tom Peters and Nancy Austin wrote: “Any device to maintain quality can be of value. But all devices are valuable only if managers—at all levels—are living the quality message, paying attention to quality, spending time on it as evidenced by their calendars.”

The spotlight on quality remains. Today, consumers expect every product and service to be of the highest quality. Joseph Juran, publisher of the classic Quality Control Handbook, states, “We’ve made dependence on the quality of our technology a part of life.”

Clearly, American leaders need to emphasize quality in every aspect of their organizations. Whether they are service-driven or product-driven, company leaders must completely understand the need for quality and communicate that message down the line so that everyone in the organization fully understands the importance of maintaining and improving quality.

This addresses organizational quality, but what about personal TQM?

In the wake of the Volkswagen scandal as well as other corporate meltdowns, investors have lost hundreds of billions of dollars and tens of thousands of people are out of work. Cooked books, deceitful executives, and lackadaisical board members have caused a collapse of inconceivable proportions. The disintegration of these companies represents an unimaginable failure of leadership and governance. What has happened to personal quality?

As you learn and apply the principles of trustworthy leadership presented in my book, Trust Me, you will become a leader known for personal “total quality.” Specifically, no leader can have a life of quality without integrity. And the same is true for the entire organization. Without integrity, it will be impossible for the organization to have a truly high-quality reputation with customers, employees, peers, and shareholders.

Integrity is absolutely necessary for the success of a leader and an organization. A total quality life insists on integrity.

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Blog Team

Mentally Ill Teams

by Ron Potter May 27, 2016

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

These are the opening lines in M. Scott Peck’s book “The Road Less Traveled.”

Dr. Peck essentially spends the rest of his book explaining that:

“The attempt to avoid legitimate suffering lies at the root of all emotional illness.”

How many teams have you worked with a team that seems to exhibit emotional illness? No one ever quite speaks the whole truth. Taboo topics never seem to come out in the open except in those moments of complete frustration when someone just can’t take it anymore. No decisions seem to get made or if they do they certainly don’t seem to stick. One voice is always (or seems to think) they are the smartest voice in the room. Another is so conflict averse that even the hint of disagreement will be taken “off line” to be fixed behind closed doors.

These are all signs of emotional illness and they are just as real in teams (maybe more so) than in individuals. Note that Dr. Peck identifies the root cause as the attempt to avoid legitimate suffering. Pay attention to the word attempt. The effort really never does avoid the pain and suffering, it just attempts to avoid it. And in fact by doing so it actually makes things worse because the suffering is never dealt with openly or cleanly and simply leads to more misunderstanding, conflict and hurt feelings. The attempt to avoid the suffering simply causes more and deeper suffering.

Also note that he describes it as legitimate suffering. As the opening sentence of his book says, “Life is difficult.” Life is difficult. People are difficult. Teams are difficult. Organizations are difficult. The market place is difficult. Customers and clients are difficult.

Yes, it’s all difficult. Decisions are going to result in suffering. It’s a dilemma. It means a choice between equally unfavorable alternatives. You’ve heard of being on the ‘horns of a dilemma.’ It refers to the two horns on a bull. Both unfavorable alternatives. You must choose one horn or the other but you’re going to get gored either way. Life is difficult. Most tough corporate and team decisions are dilemma’s. Either alternative is equally unfavorable but you have to choose one and you’re going to get gored either way.

Trying to avoid the legitimate suffering from facing dilemma’s simply leads to emotional illness. Don’t avoid it, face it, be open about it and deal with it. Then take your medicine. You and your team will be much healthier.

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Blog Myers-Briggs You Might Be Surprised

You Might Be Surprised: Thinking or Feeling – Part II

by Ron Potter May 23, 2016

After years of being totally compatible in almost every area, are Dave and Charlie discovering that they’re really quite different?

Spoiler alert!!! To fully appreciate this blog take just a minute and read our last blog that sets the stage for understanding the apparent conflict between Dave and Charlie and how they view each other.

After Dave erupted in utter disbelief which was turning into complete distain for the validity of the Myers-Briggs instrument we tried to calm things down long enough to turn this into a good learning opportunity. After a few false starts we finally hit on a question that fairly and accurately painted a picture of the differences between Dave and Charlie.

We asked Charlie if he felt he was located in an accurate position on the Deciding (Thinking-Feeling) scale now that he had learned the difference between the two approaches. With Dave still staring at him in disbelief Charlie indicated that he felt it was a fair and accurate assessment and he actually felt very comfortable with the outcome. Once again Dave couldn’t contain himself with a very loud “No Way!”

But then the question: Dave, what process do you use to purchase a new car? Dave was quick and precise; he would first determine the class of vehicle he currently needed (truck, SUV, sedan, etc), then he would research all new entries into the market, do a complete analysis of performance, maintenance and long-term care and finally use all the modern tools available on the web to find the absolute best price before finally approaching a dealership armed with all of the ammo he needed to make his purchase.

Charlie, what process do you use to purchase a new car? “Well, I’ve had one car salesman that I started using right out of college. He’s taken good care of me through the years and we’ve actually become pretty good friends. I trust him and I believe he has my best interest at heart so when he calls and says it’s time for me to purchase a new car, I ask him for his recommendations and have always purchased what he suggested. It’s always worked just fine for me.” Charlie made his decision based on the values of friendship, loyalty and trust. It works for him. Charlie comfortably fit on the Feeling side of the Deciding function.

Dave of course sat there with his mouth wide open. When he regained his composure enough to control of his jaw muscles, he finally said to Charlie “You have always seemed to have cars that fit your need and personality so I guess we can still be fishing buddies.”

Be very careful when you think you really know someone and their Myers-Briggs functions, they might just surprise you.

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Absurd!Blog In-Depth Book Reviews

Absurd!: The More We Communicate, The Less We Communicate

by Ron Potter May 19, 2016

I’m continuing my series on an in-depth look at a wonderful little book that’s twenty years old this year. The title is “Management of the Absurd” by Richard Farson. You may want to consider dropping back and reading the previous blogs about ABSURD! I think it will put each new one in great context.

“The notion that people need to communicate more is perhaps the most widely accepted idea in management, indeed in all human relationships. Whether it’s called counseling, team building, conflict resolution, or negotiating, it boils down to one idea – that if we talk it over, things will get better.”

I just finished another Culture Survey’s with a client. (Actually I dealt with three client surveys over the last six weeks.) There are a couple of items that always get low scores on every company’s survey and one of them is the need for more communication.

Unfortunately, most corporate leaders respond to the noted lack of communication with more information. Seldom do people want more information. Every organization and person I know, including myself is overrun with information. We carry around the knowledge (and information) of man in our hand in a device we ludicrously call a phone when it uses about 0.001% of its capability to provide phone service. What we don’t carry around with us is the wisdom of man.

People don’t want more information; they want more meaning. What does this mean? How should we interpret these numbers? Give us meaning. Tell us stories. Help us understand.

Our author says:

“Almost all of this information is quantitative rather than qualitative and is of little use to top managers, who are dealing with predicaments that seldom yield to logical analysis. What these executives require is more likely to come from the advice of their colleagues than from comprehensive displays of data.”

Simon Sinek notes that great leaders inspire action by starting with Why! If you haven’t seen his video check out YouTube for “Why, How, What” or Simon Sinek below. Why starts with meaning. People are seldom interested in what you do but they are often interested in why you’re doing it.

The more we communicate, the less we communicate. The more with inspire with meaning and helping people understand why, the more we communicate.

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