Search results for

"respect"

BlogTeamTeam Series

Team Elements – Respect: Summary

by Ron Potter

Over the last several blog posts we’ve been working on the framework for great teams.  The four elements in the framework  include:

TREC.  The dictionary defines a TREK as “a movement, especially when involving difficulties and complex organization: an arduous journey.”  I realize that TREC and TREK are slightly different, but I always want to add an element that helps you remember a concept or framework.  Notice that building a team includes difficult and complex organization and is an arduous journey.

Teams don’t just happen.

Just because you gather together a group of people at roughly the same level in an organization, that doesn’t make them a team.  It’s simply a group of people who have some of the same goals and many different goals.  Leadership teams are charged with lining up the goals of all the participants, regardless of their personal or functional goals.  Sometimes those personal and functional goals need to be sacrificed in order to move the team goals forward.  It’s an arduous journey.

There is a fifth element that was not included in the list but needs to be checked and that’s Purpose.  The reason I tend to minimize the Purpose goal is that I assume leadership teams know what their collective goal is or should be.  However, if that’s not the case, this fifth element will jump to the top of the list to be solved first before the TREC can begin.

Truth and Respect

So far we’ve worked through the details of Truth and Respect.  We summarized Truth and I would like to summarize Respect in this post.

We need to look at the individual pieces of Respect as covered in the last three blog posts but there is also an important principle that relates to the combination of both Truth and Respect.

Respect

Individually, Respect can be made up of several elements.

Team Strengths
  •  Humility
    • When someone does not demonstrate humility, it’s hard to believe they have respect for others.
  • Development
    • When leaders believe it’s worth their time to grow and develop people, it demonstrates respect.
  • Compassion
    • People are motivated by being treated as human beings.  Not by what they do or don’t do, but who they are.
  • Patience
    • Stay calm, don’t get annoyed, turn back to Humility, Development, and Compassion
  • Kindness
    • “Giving someone what they need the most, deserve the least at great personal expense.”  Chip Ingram
Team Weaknesses
  •  Envy
    • Envy occurs when someone feels inferior to others.  It’s destructive, first the one who envies, then those around them.  When someone is dealing with envy, help them develop.
  • Anger
    • Anger eruptions are seldom positive.  Helping the team express anger and disappointment in a safe environment helps in dealing with loss and adversity.
  • Grudge
    • Grudges are usually caused by envy and anger but they just keep surfacing.  Deal with the envy and anger constructively to stop the grudges.

Truth and Respect

There is also a powerful force when a team is both very truthful and yet maintains great respect for every individual.  Amy Edmondson is may be the best-known author to identify the concept that when both Truth and Respect are present, a team experiences “psychological safety.”  Amy and others have shown through research that when psychological safety is present, teams perform the best.

Truth and Respect are necessary individually but when combined they help teams perform at a level that is much higher than expected.

Respect, Often the Missing Element

After spending nearly 30 years working with leadership teams, my experience has been that respect is often the missing element holding teams back.

Truth: Overt

“Truth” tends to be overt.  People say it.  Or more accurately, people blurt it out.  The problems happen when someone believes they have the truth and everyone else simply has a perspective.  I’ll write more about perspective in an upcoming blog about modern-day philosophers.  Billy Joel says in one of his songs “the only people I fear are those who never have doubts.”  If you have no doubts about your “truth”, you’re probably wrong.

The other thing I’ve seen happen on teams as they deteriorate, the truth turns sarcastic.  Yes, it is the truth but it certainly doesn’t get expressed with any respect.

Respect (lack of): Covert

I find a lack of respect to be covert.  Nothing is really said out loud or face-to-face but outside the room, there are comments made about a person or a position that is not very respectful.  Issues that remain covert are the most difficult to handle.  I know that people seem to think it’s kinder to remain silent and they’ll avoid the expected conflict created by being overt.  But anything that remains covert is always more difficult to work out.

Truth and Respect.  These are the first two steps in our TREC to great teams.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogTeamTeam Series

Team Elements – Respect: Envy, Anger, Grudges

by Ron Potter

We’re continuing our series on building great teams.  Great teams happen when we have

We’re still working our way through the Respect series with the final set of circumstances of Envy, Anger, and Grudges.  No, great teams don’t possess these attributes, great teams avoid these attributes. Envy, Anger, and Grudges are team weaknesses that can be lethal to your team’s well-being.

Envy

Envy is the first of the team weaknesses we’ll discuss. Great teams snuff out envy whenever it rears its ugly head.  Here are some attributes of Envy:

  • Discontented or resentful by someone else’s possessions, qualities, luck, or accomplishments, style or attribute.
  • An emotion which occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality or achievement.
  • Desires to deprive another of what they have.
  • Delights in degrading those who are more deserving.

Envy occurs when someone feels inferior to others and will do what they can to undermine or chop down those who possess more or achieve more than themselves.

At its roots, this is a comparison issue.  Always comparing yourself to others is a losing battle.  Jordan Peterson in his book 12 Rules of Life: An antidote to chaos states in rule number 4 “Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.”  Comparing yourself to who you were yesterday puts you on the path of growth.

I once had a pastor who was fond of talking about the little boy pushing his wagon up a hill.  As soon as he sat down in the wagon to rest, he found himself at the bottom of the hill.  Never stop growing!  Never stop learning!  As soon as you give up on your own growth and development, envy creeps in.   You begin to be resentful of what others have or what others have become.

Envy is destructive.  Its first target is yourself.  Its second target is those around you.  As Jordan Peterson says, an antidote to chaos is to continue growing.

Anger

As the second of the team weaknesses, Anger that is directed at circumstances or failures can be healthy if it is channeled properly.  Eruptions of anger are seldom positive.  Expressing anger and disappointment in a safe environment can help everyone deal with the loss and adversity.

I’ve often run exercises with teams that have experienced great loss and disappointment.  Working in small groups I allow each person to express their emotions by writing them on flip charts.  No holds barred.  Get it all out.  Once the teams have exhausted the extent of their anger, we take the flip charts that were created, post them on the wall, share them with each other and then hand every chart out to members of the team.  They are then instructed to tear the flip charts into as many pieces as possible, throw the pieces into the middle of the floor (expressing as much anger as they can while doing so) and then we all jump on the pile of pieces and stomp on them as viciously as possible.  By the time the stomping has slowed to a stop I always witness a moment of somber quiet.  But then someone breaks out in a big grin.  Another joins them.  It soon turns to laughter and people start expressing how cathartic the exercise was.  In one form or another people shout out “Wow, I haven’t felt this good in a long time!”  The anger dissipates.  Calm heads return.  And a new determination emerges in the room to move on, work hard, figure out how to overcome and get better.

All too often the anger remains covert.  People assume they must hold their head up high, don’t complain and keep going.  When things remain covert it’s almost impossible to deal with them.  Once we brought out the anger in an overt but healthy way, new energy emerges from the team and it makes it possible to move forward.

Grudges

The third and most subtle of the team weaknesses, Grudges can be caused be either envy or anger but they just keep resurfacing over time.  It’s probably because it remains overt until that moment when it erupts once again.

One of my teams referred to the practices as “replaying old tapes.”  Something would happen on the team that didn’t seem to make sense to me and finally, someone else would explain, “Oh, they’re just replaying old tapes from what happened a few years ago.”  A few years ago?  Are you kidding me?  People are still holding and expressing grudges after a few years and no one has dealt with it yet?  Amazing.

Leaders and teams must call out grudges and put a stop to them.  Maybe it will take a team exercise like the anger one described above.  Maybe it will take some one-on-one discussions with the leader or a coach.  Maybe a leader needs to decide to help a team member move on if they can’t get past old issues.  Grudges can be like deep infections.  They continue to resurface.  Sometimes a mild antibiotic will heal an infection.  I dealt with one of those antibiotic-resistant infections a few years ago.  It took a direct injection of the most powerful antibiotic every three hours for six weeks.

Infections can be tough to deal with.  Grudges can be just as tough because they pop to the surface periodically.  You must get to the root of them and deal with them to have healthy teams.

In this post, we’ve talked about the team weaknesses you should avoid to build great teams.  In the previous post, we talked about the positive things that need to be present to develop great Respect within teams.  We’ll wrap up Respect with our next post to pull it all together with focus.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogTeamTeam Series

Team Elements – Respect: Patience, Kindness

by Ron Potter

In our last post, we looked at the first three elements of great respect: Humility, Development, and Compassion.

Respect is the second component of great teamwork.

This week we’ll unpack further elements of Respect: Patience and Kindness.

In our final post on Patience, we’ll explore Anger and Grudges.

Patience

In today’s high paced world of do, do, do and go, go, go, we seldom think of patience as being an element of great teams.  The early Greek word that Aristotle would have used always related to people, not projects.

One of our modern-day dictionary definitions says:

Stay calm and not get annoyed.  Especially when something takes a long time, or when someone is not doing what you want them to do.

Another definition talks about not responding with annoyance or anger when faced with pain or suffering.  Patience doesn’t happen without suffering.

How often do you get annoyed by the pain and suffering of delay or what we see as incompetence?  If you’re like me, the answer is “way too often.”  However, it’s important to make sure that we don’t distribute the frustration and annoyance evenly.

When we’re part of a team it means we have responsibility and accountability to the team and team members.  Situations can be annoying.  Systems can be annoying.  People can be annoying.  But, if our goal is to grow the team, experience our own growth within the team,  and accomplish some great things together than we must keep our annoyance in check when it comes to people.

Annoyance can and will be triggered for many different reasons.  I could never list all the reasons but many that come to mind for me include:

  • Someone moving too fast or too slow to satisfy me.
  • Not doing the work the way I think it should be done.
  • Focusing on the long-term when we have pressing issues in the short term.  And vica versa.
  • Not honoring the values of the team in their work

Without going into great detail let’s look at some quick answers or reasons why you shouldn’t think of them as annoying

  • Everyone moves at a different speed.  The key is to know what deadlines are real and sticking to them.  Hold team members accountable when deadlines are missed.
  • We each work in different ways.  The key is the outcome.  Did you or the teammate get the results that were expected and needed?  If not, make sure clarification is achieved with everyone.  I’ve found that teams at high levels don’t spend enough time on clarification because they assume they’ve been there before, they assume they understand what is needed, they assume their pace and approach will be sufficient.  Notice the word assume used in every case.  I still remember a high school teacher explaining that “assume” makes an “ass” of “u” and “me.”  Don’t be an ass.  Don’t assume.
  • Each of our brains works in different ways.  On the Myers-Briggs assessment, there is a function referred to as the perceiving function.  Those who land on the “intuitive” side of perception think in conceptual terms.  They focus on the future and must have an image of what that future should be in order to deal with the daily details.  Those who fall on the sensing side of that function, work very much in the “here and now” so that they can understand how to get to a future state.  Both ways of perceiving are valid.  But each can also annoy the other.  Appreciate, honor and use the differences to help the team achieve at the highest level.

Kindness

I’m going to go back to Aristotle’s original word for this category which is Love.  I’ve converted his original word to Respect because I believe business teams are less confused by the word Respect.  As I’ve mentioned earlier, the Greeks had several words that English translates into the word love.  The word that Aristotle used was agape.  I’m going to use a definition that I believe was put forth by Chip Ingram.

“Giving someone what they

    • need the most
    • deserve the least
    • at great personal expense.”

Need the most

This implies that you’ve gotten to know a person well enough to know what they may need at the moment.  Do you know your teammates as human beings or simply as human doings (know them for what they do, not who they are)?

Deserve the least

I haven’t met many business leaders or team members that have bad intentions.  However, I’ve observed a lot of bad action.  People often do things that are counter to their intentions.  A person may have just done something that makes us think they don’t deserve help, assistance, care, understanding, etc.

At great personal expense

Kindness requires that we sacrifice some of our own needs to provide what another person needs the most at the moment.  It may require us to provide the time that we don’t seem to have at the moment.  It may require us to have the courage to step into a situation that would be must easier to simply avoid.  It may require us to delay crucial decisions to build team unity.  There is a cost.

I’m going to close this section with a line from one of my favorite books titled Anyway – The Paradoxical Commandments by Kent Keith.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.  Help people anyway.

Patience and Kindness are at the heart of building great teams!

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogTeamTeam Series

Team Elements – Respect: Humility, Development, Compassion

by Ron Potter

Teams are at the heart of great performance, great happiness, and the best memories.  These blogs are built on the 4 Levels of Happiness by Aristotle.  In his framework, Aristotle says that the highest level of happiness will be achieved at Level 4.  In describing Level 4 Happiness, Aristotle Used five words:

  • Truth
  • Love
  • Purpose
  • Beauty
  • Unity

Love (Respect)

The Greeks had several words that are all translated into the English word “love.”  The Greek word for Love that Aristotle used had nothing to do with emotions or the feeling of love that we have for another person.  This word referred to treating the other person with respect.  It’s about what we do, not how we feel.

As human beings, we seem to have an innate sense that someone respects us or not.  Great teams require great respect (love) for each other.

In unpacking the concept of Respect (or love), we will look at the following concepts over the next couple of posts:

  • Three elements of building Trust: Humility, Development, Compassion
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Envy
  • Anger
  • Grudges

In our last post, we looked at Psychological Safety (both Truth and Respect being at their highest level).  Research has indicated that Psychological Safety is one of the best indicators of high team performance.

This post will start a series digging deeper into the concept of Respect.  How do we define it?  How do we use it?

Humility, Development, and Compassion

These are three of the eight concepts that we learn from my book, Trust Me are present with great leadership.  Let’s look at each one and see how they relate to Respect.

Humility

When someone does not demonstrate humility, it’s hard to believe they have respect for others.  Lack of humility becomes self-focused.  When someone is self-focused, they are not “other” focused.  Humility means that I have an interest in your opinion.  Steven Covey listed one of his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People as “Seek to understand first before being understood.”  When someone wants to know what I think before sharing with me what they think, I feel respected.  I feel like my opinion counts.  I’m more interested in their opinion because they were interested in my opinion first.  I feel respected.

Development

When a leader believes it’s worth their time to grow and develop me, I feel respected.  Leaders dedicated to development will provide straight and meaningful feedback.

I once worked with a client who told me their boss was a wonderful person, always positive and encouraging but not very useful.  They went on to explain that all of their performance reviews were great with nothing but good feedback.  However, it gave them nothing to work with.  There were no suggestions for growth or betterment.  Therefore, it just wasn’t very useful.

Positive Development means straightforward feedback about what’s working and what is not working with suggestions for development and follow-up on efforts.  Taking the time to develop people demonstrates respect.

Compassion

I would often get negative comments about this topic when we first published Trust Me.  Many managers would express the sentiment that they were not running a charitable organization; they were running a business and business was rough and tumble, not soft and cushy!

I started dealing with this question by asking these rough and tumble leaders about their doctors.  Did they like doctors that looked at the lab results only and treated them as numbers on a graph or did they like doctors that related to them as human beings first and then talked to them about how the clinical numbers might be affecting their quality of life.  They all like doctors who were professionally competent but treated them as human beings first and foremost.  The same is true with your teammates.

You want a teammate who tells it to you straight but knows you as a human being first.  We are not motivated or encouraged by people who treat us as a human ‘doing’ (relating to what we do rather than who we are) rather than a human being.  If we’re treated as human beings (which means we’re respected) first, we are much more likely to respond to our fullest.

Patience, Kindness, Envy, Anger, and Grudges.

These are concepts that we’ll look at in our next post about Respect.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogTeamTeam Series

Team Elements – Respect: Psychological Safety

by Ron Potter

Resect

We continue our series on teams and the elements that make up great ones. Teams are at the heart of great performance, greatest happiness, and the best memories. These blog posts are built on the 4 Levels of Happiness by Aristotle. In his framework, Aristotle says that the highest level of happiness will be achieved at Level 4. In describing Level 4 Happiness, Aristotle used five words:

  • Truth
  • Love
  • Purpose
  • Beauty
  • Unity

In this series of posts, I’ve concentrated on the four words of Truth, Love, Beauty, and Unity. Purpose is the word right in the middle of all five. I don’t spend a lot of time concentrating on Purpose because it is so essential and obvious. Without a purpose, there is no team.

I also try to use words that more directly apply to the business environment. Words like love and beauty are words you don’t often hear in corporate meetings. Using words that essentially mean the same thing as the original words and yet seem appropriate in the corporate world, I’ve modified the last three words to make them immediately identifiable and to help you remember them. The four words I’ve used are:

  • Truth
  • Respect
  • Elegance
  • Commitment

The Greeks had several words that all get translated into the English word Love. The Greek word for Love that Aristotle used had nothing to do with emotions or the feeling of love that we have for another person. This word referred to treating the other person with respect. As human beings, we seem to have an innate sense that someone respects us or not. Great teams require great respect (love) for each other.

In unpacking the concept of Respect (or Love), we will look at:

  • At least three elements of building Trust: Humility, Development, Compassion
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Lack of Envy
  • Anger directed at issues or situations, not people
  • No grudges

Psychological Safety

If we look at these first two (Truth – Respect) together, a very powerful concept of psychological safety begins to emerge. Psychological Safety is present every time a team achieves greatness and can even become a predictor of greatness.

Google thought it would look at many of their teams around the company and see if they could figure out what made a high performing team. I believe they looked at 340 teams and in the end, could not find any pattern that predicted high achievement. Or more accurately, they found too many patterns to reach any conclusion until they found the concept of psychological safety.

Amy Edmondson at Harvard is one of the more visible proponents of psychological safety. Once Google built in a psychological safety measurement into their team assessment, there was a correlation between high performing teams and psychological safety.

Psychological Safety on Teams

Having psychological safety on a team means that the truth is spoken, not holding back anything and at the same time, there is so much respect for each person, people feel safe in stating or hearing the truth. These are the first two elements of the highest level of happiness. Teams that can speak the truth with complete respect not only perform at a high level, but they are also a joy to be a part of.

I think that one reason holding teams back in accomplishing complete psychological safety is that people assume truth and respect are at the opposite ends of the same spectrum. I can either speak the total truth, even if it means that I hold people accountable for their failures or shortcoming (one end of the spectrum) or I can show total respect to someone, therefore I must hold back the complete truth (opposite end of the spectrum). But this is a false understanding. We need to think of these two elements as two different dimensions on a chart.

For instance:

  • The vertical dimension may be labeled “Truth” with complete truth at the top and lack of truth at the bottom.
  • The horizontal dimension may be labeled “Respect” with total respect to the right (at the end) and lack of respect to the left.

This leaves us with a two x two grid (which consultants love).

  • Lower Left – Low Truth and Low Respect = Insensitive and Manipulative
  • Upper Left – High Truth but Low Respect = Aggressive and Obnoxious
  • Lower Right – Low Truth but High Respect = Empathy but no accountability
  • Upper Right – High Truth and High Respect = Psychological Safety

Great teams express great truth and have total respect for team members.

Elements of Respect

We’ve pointed out the value of both Truth and Respect here in this blog. In the next few blogs, we’ll explore the elements of great respect including:

  • Humility, Development, and Compassion
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • The benefit of the Doubt
  • No Envy, Anger or Grudges

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogTeamTeam Series

Team Elements – Respect

by Ron Potter

We started this blog series about teams in early January of this year. Teams are at the heart of great performance, greatest happiness, and the best memories. These blog posts are built on the 4 Levels of Happiness by Aristotle. In his framework, Aristotle says that the highest level of happiness will be achieved at Level 4. In describing Level 4 Happiness, Aristotle used five words:

  • Truth
  • Love
  • Purpose
  • Beauty
  • Unity

In this series of posts, I’ve concentrated on the four words of Truth, Love, Beauty, and Unity. Purpose is the word right in the middle of all five. I don’t spend a lot of time concentrating on Purpose because it is so essential and obvious. Without a purpose, there is no team.

I also try to use words that more directly apply to the business environment. Words like love and beauty are words you don’t often hear in corporate meetings. Using words that essentially mean the same thing as the original words and yet seem appropriate in the corporate world, I’ve modified the last three words to make them immediately identifiable and to help you remember them. The four words I’ve used are:

  • Truth
  • Respect
  • Elegance
  • Commitment

The Greeks had several words that all get translated into the English word Love. The Greek word for Love that Aristotle used had nothing to do with emotions or the feeling of love that we have for another person. This word referred to treating the other person with respect. As human beings, we seem to have an innate sense that someone respects us or not. Great teams require great respect (love) for each other.

In unpacking the concept of Respect (or Love), we will look at:

  • At least three elements of building Trust: Humility, Development, Compassion
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Lack of Envy
  • Anger directed at issues or situations, not people
  • No grudges

Psychological Safety

If we look at these first two (Truth – Respect) together, a very powerful concept of psychological safety begins to emerge. Psychological Safety is present every time a team achieves greatness and can even become a predictor of greatness.

Google thought it would look at many of their teams around the company and see if they could figure out what made a high performing team. I believe they looked at 340 teams and in the end, could not find any pattern that predicted high achievement. Or more accurately, they found too many patterns to reach any conclusion until they found the concept of psychological safety. Amy Edmondson at Harvard is one of the more visible proponents of psychological safety. Once Google built in a psychological safety measurement into their team assessment, there was a correlation between high performing teams and psychological safety.

Psychological Safety

Having psychological safety on a team means that the truth is spoken, not holding back anything and at the same time, there is so much respect for each person, people feel safe in stating or hearing the truth. These are the first two elements of the highest level of happiness. Teams that can speak the truth with complete respect not only perform at a high level, but they are also a joy to be a part of.

I think that one reason holding teams back in accomplishing complete psychological safety is that people assume truth and respect are at the opposite ends of the same spectrum. I can either speak the total truth, even if it means that I hold people accountable for their failures or shortcoming (one end of the spectrum) or I can show total respect to someone. Therefore I must hold back the complete truth (opposite end of the spectrum). But this is a false understanding. We need to think of these two elements as two different dimensions on a chart.

For instance:

  • The vertical dimension may be labeled “Truth” with complete truth at the top and lack of truth at the bottom.
  • The horizontal dimension may be labeled “Respect” with total respect to the right (at the end) and lack of respect to the left.

This leaves us with a two x two grid (which consultants love).

  • Lower Left – Low Truth and Low Respect = Insensitive and Manipulative
  • Upper Left – High Truth but Low Respect = Aggressive and Obnoxious
  • Lower Right – Low Truth but High Respect = Empathy but no accountability
  • Upper Right – High Truth and High Respect = Psychological Safety

Great teams express great truth and have total respect for team members.

Elements of Respect

We’ve pointed out the value of both Truth and Respect here in this blog. In the next few blogs, we’ll explore the elements of great respect including:

  • Humility, Development, and Compassion
  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • The benefit of the Doubt
  • No Envy, Anger or Grudges

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
LeadershipREPOST

REPOST: Opposite of Victim

by Ron Potter
A Note From the Editor:
As we recently mentioned, we are reposting popular blog posts while Ron is recovering from some health issues.

Some people I’ve worked with have what we might think of as that victim mentality. The Leadership Style instrument I use (LSI from Human Synergistics) measures two areas titled Dependent and Avoidance that collectively describe a style that starts with the assumption that they are the victim in most circumstances. Some of the descriptions include:

  • A tendency to be easily influenced, not taking independent action
  • A strong tendency to deny responsibility or accountability
  • A passive attitude
  • Feelings of helplessness and/or guilt over real or imagined mistakes
  • The presence of rapid change or traumatic setbacks
  • A lack of self-respect
  • Extreme fear of failure

Someone asked me the other day what was the opposite of the victim mentality. That ignited a lively dialogue which came to the conclusion that Creativity is the opposite of victim mentality. Isn’t that a great picture? If we eliminate policies, procedures, governance, or leadership styles that create or assume a victim mentality, we unleash creativity.

Although my work is focused on leadership within corporations, the first thing that came to mind was our lawmakers. Start evaluating all of the bills that are coming through Congress (or ones that have been part of the landscape for many years) and begin to evaluate them in terms of “Do they create victims or do they instill creativity?” Many of the laws of this nation seem to start with the assumption that you are (or should be) a victim. And then they tend to perpetuate that belief. Our only opportunity in this rapidly changing global economy is to be creative and innovative. Shouldn’t we stop passing laws that push us toward or assume we are or should be victims?

But, closer to home, can you evaluate your or others’ leadership style on this victim-creativity balance beam? It’s always easiest to see it in others but the first step in great leadership is self-awareness, self-assessment, and humility. Have a discussion with your team. Maybe start by evaluating the group of people that work for you. Do they behave as victims or creators? What about our leadership style is causing that? How do we change the way we lead to increase the creative nature of our company?

My wife and I recently had the opportunity to listen to Condoleezza Rice when she made a speaking engagement in our hometown. During the question and answer period, one of the first questions was “How did a young person of color from Birmingham, Alabama make it all the way to Secretary of State?” The first words out of her mouth without hesitation were “We were never allowed to be victims!”

This post was originally posted here on June 1, 2011.
0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogCulture

Consensus Building

by Ron Potter

I meet on a regular basis with a group of highly intelligent and successful guys.  We have a name for ouselves which is SPACE CADETS.  The story is too long about how we became known by that name but we’ve enjoyed it.

Our topics range across the things we’ve been thinking about: a difficult situation we find ourselves in or sometimes simply curiosity.  But it often deals with how we reach consensus with our team or client.  One of the definitions of consensus from Merriam-Webster is “group solidarity in sentiment and belief.”  You can look up the word solidarity but it often leads back to something solid.  You build something together that is solid and that you’ll all defend.

There are two words in the English language that are often associated with building consensus.

One of those words is discussion.  The other word is dialogue.  Most people think of a good discussion as a way to reach consensus.  Most of us don’t think of the word dialogue.  If fact we often mix the two words up and misunderstand their meaning.

Discussion

There are some interesting ideas that discussion is based on.  They include:

  • Narrow focus
  • Debate of what is “right”
  • Defending certainty
  • Seeking closure

Notice that there is an assumed “right” and “certainty” in the word discussion.  Add to that the narrow focus and seeking closure (instead of understanding) and you begin to see that discussion may not be the best approach to building consensus.  One of the best definitions that I found said that the word discussion is based on the same root word as percussion.  What do you think of when you think about percussion?  Drums!

I played percussion in our high school band.  When we were in an orchestra situation I remember our band director asking me to bring down the volume on the percussion.  But when we were outdoors in marching band, it seemed like he was always asking me to raise the volume.  He wanted more percussion.  Discussion in an open area with lots of listeners may be useful.  But in a small team setting, percussion is not useful.  It seems to have all the negative aspects of the bullet list above.

Dialogue

Dialogue is very different from discussion.  Dialogue is an exchange of ideas and opinions.  Dialogue has some very interesting aspects that you would probably love to have in most instances.  It:

  • Surfaces all assumptions
  • Names and faces defense routines
  • Slows down conversation to create learning and shared meaning
  • Suspends certainty

Suspending Assumptions

The last point in dialogue is suspending certainty.  All of us have certain ideas that we feel certain about.  This is natural and it’s certainly OK as long as we know they come from our own views and observations.  I think we would have a tough time with life if we didn’t have things we were certain about.  But it’s important that they are really our assumptions and another person (especially one with different experiences and coming up in a different culture) may see them entirely differently.

I was very fortunate that my consulting career had me working around the world and being exposed to different cultures.  I remember one team that was made up of people from Spain, Italy, Germany, Sweden, and the UK.  It was fascinating to see them start talking about a topic from their own culture and history.  Fortunately, this was a team that respected each other and was willing to understand how the different cultures viewed certain topics.

One funny experience I remember was working with a US CEO.  He had gotten tired of people being late for meetings so he instituted the rule that if you were late, you had to stand on your chair or table and sing your college fight song or country national anthem.  From his point of view that would have been very humiliating.  Then one day we were waiting for a meeting to start and I asked him if he saw the people standing outside the conference room door.  It seems that all the Irish were waiting outside the door so they could be late and have to stand on the table and sing their national anthem.  They loved it.

Suspending Assumptions II

A couple of things to think about when you’re suspending assumptions are:

  1. Let go of your own assumptions in order to understand the assumptions of others.
  2. When it comes to your turn, help everyone understand your assumptions and what formed them.
  3. Move from discussion to dialogue to help everyone understand all of the assumptions so that together you can come up with the best team solution.

It’s important to remember that you won’t win every argument and your assumptions won’t carry the day in every instance.  Most often one assumption persuades most of the team but is enhanced by portions of some of the other assumptions.

One way to judge your ability to do this well is how you respond to people after the decision is made.  When someone (who may have been fully aware of your position before the meeting) asks you what the decision of the team was, your answer should be something like, “The team thought this was the best solution.”  When the person says they know that was not your opinion prior to the meeting, say again, “The team thought it is the best solution.”

Keep in mind that we all have different assumptions.  I grew up with three siblings in the same house.  We have certain similarities but, as a whole, we are each very different people.  You’re no better or worse than the other person, you just have different assumptions.

0 comment
1 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogIn-Depth Book Reviews

Management of the Absurd

by Ron Potter

As I continue the review of some of the books I’ve read through the years, next up is Management of the Absurd by Richard Farson.

Management of the Absurd

A dictionary definition of the word absurd calls it “wildly unreasonable or illogical.”  I consider myself both highly reasonable and logical so this definition didn’t make sense to me.  Which may be why I read it.  My notes alone for the book totaled up to 15 pages so I guess it caught my interest.

This book is written by Richard Farson.  In the book, he lays out eight parts.

  1. A Different Way of Thinking
  2. The “Technology of” Human Relations
  3. The Paradoxes of Communication
  4. The Politics of Management
  5. Organizational Predicaments
  6. Dilemmas of Change
  7. The Aesthetics of Leadership
  8. Avoiding the Future

I’ll quickly touch on each of the eight parts but I think you’ll notice the absurdity in the titles themselves.

A Different Way of Thinking

The most important discoveries come from taking a fresh look at what people take for granted.  They cannot see it because it is too “obvious” or is what they expect to see or not seen.  Farson calls this the invisible obvious.  I’ve often seen when the “expert” doesn’t pay any attention to the new person on the team or someone who doesn’t have the same “expertise” they do on a particular topic.  The absurdity comes from the fact that the best new creative ideas come from the person who is taking a fresh look at a topic.  This can come from the new person or, if you train yourself well, you can provide that fresh look no matter how much of an “expert” you are on a topic.

The “Technology of” Human Relations

Farson says that “The more important a relationship, the less skill matters.”  In both parenthood and management, it’s not so much what we do as what we are that counts.  It is the ability to meet each situation armed not with a battery of techniques but with an openness that permits a genuine response.

Effective leaders and managers do not regard control as the main concern.  Instead, they approach situations as learners or teachers or sometimes both.

My take from this section is the openness and genuine response that people respect and will be motivated by.  Trying to control or dictate situations will not motivate people.

The Paradoxes of Communication

Paradox is another one of those interesting words.  Webster says that it is “a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true.”

Listening can also be a disturbing experience.  All of us have strong needs to see the world in certain ways, and when we really listen, so that we understand the other person’s perspective, we risk being changed ourselves.

The best kind of listening comes not from technique but from being genuinely interested in what really matters to the other person.

This is what I have come to think of as listening to understand rather than listening to respond.  Often when we’re listening to the other person, we’re building a list in our head about how were are going to respond.  That’s easier and takes less energy than listening to truly understand what the other person is saying and the belief system they are basing their statement upon.  Listening to understand creates a different set of questions, often forcing the other person to expose their own belief system.

The Politics of Management

Fighting for the rights of special groups has contributed to an erosion of civility.  When people are treated as representatives of special groups, society is fragmented.  The achievement and preservation of the community must become our top priority.  Otherwise, the concept of rights has no meaning.

Organizational Predicaments

Organizations that need help most will benefit from it least.

I experienced this with one client I worked with many years ago.  The head of HR knew that the team needed help and convinced them to employ my services.  After talking with the head of HR, I decided to highly discount my services because I didn’t believe that would have been willing to pay my going fee.  In their mind, they just weren’t in that bad of shape.  After working with the team for almost a year I believed we had learned a lot and gotten much better.  If we were climbing a ten-step ladder, we had just successfully made it up to step one.  However, to the team this was seen as such great strides—they felt like they had reached the top of the ladder.  Because they were so much better than they had been a year ago they no longer had a need for my services.  In their mind, they had achieved everything they could have.

Dilemmas of Change

I’ve talked about the word “dilemma” before.  The foundation is “dilaminent” which meant horns.  Being on the horns of a bull put you in a dilemma.  You’re going to get gored either way.

Our author Farson makes the point that creative ideas are relatively easy to elicit.   Implementing them is a much tougher task.

Farson says that it’s important that we fail.  We need to fail ofter.  If we don’t, it means we’re not testing our limits.

The Aesthetics of Leadership

Farson says, “There are no leaders, there is only leadership.”

One of the great enemies of organizational effectiveness is our stereotypical image of a leader.  We imagine a commanding figure perhaps standing in front of an audience, talking, not listening.  The real strength of a leader is the ability to elicit the strength of the group.  Leadership is less the property of a person than the property of a group.

Avoiding the Future

Farson closes with “If absurdity is ubiquitous, if the most important goals are lost causes, why do we keep playing this absurd game?  We play it because it is the only game in town.  Of course, it is absurd.  Of course, it is only a game.  But it is a game well worth playing and worth playing well.”

Management of the Absurd is a long thought-provoking book.  I have not done it justice in the blog so I suggest you find a copy, read it, and underline it so that you come away with the greatest learnings for you.

0 comment
1 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogCultureFacing Adversity

Perplexed

by Ron Potter

We’ve been looking at a text written over 2,000 years ago.  A partial reading of the text says that we are afflicted in every way, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down.

In this blog, we’ll be looking at the second word on the list, perplexed.  Webster defines perplexed as completely baffled, very puzzled.

Some similar words include mystify, bewilder, dumbfounded, and worry.  Have you sat in on a meeting where people are speaking a different language from your own?  Maybe you know a word or two but for the most part, you’re mystified, bewildered, and maybe worried that you’re not understanding what is being said and maybe you should be.

He Was Perplexed

At one point in my career, I spent a couple weeks in the Middle East.  After a few weeks back home speaking English, the only Arabic word I remembered was shukran which means thank you.  I had a client meeting in California and the driver who picked me up from the airport spoke Arabic.  On the 45-minute journey to the meeting site, he was speaking on his phone in Arabic, so I understood virtually none of the conversation.  Upon arriving at our meeting place I politely said shukran for the pleasant ride.  The driver was dumbfounded!  He almost stammered when he asked if I knew the language.  I let him worry for a few seconds then said that shukran was the only word I knew.  The blood returned to his face.  Dumbfounded, bewildered, worried.  You name it, he was perplexed.

Almost every company I have worked with through the years has reduced their conversation to acronyms.  It always took me several meetings before I knew what they were talking about when they used FOMO for “Fear of Missing Out” or some other crazy acronym.  It never bothered me much because I was the outsider.  If I hadn’t figured it out in a meeting or two, I would ask.  However, for those who were part of the team, everyone assumed they knew what it stood for and asking was frowned upon.  They were perplexed.

We Will All Be Perplexed

Once again, the ancient text indicates that all of us will be perplexed at one time or another.  We don’t like being perplexed because it makes us feel uncomfortable or like an outsider.  One of our approaches is to assume we know it all.  We think that we’re not perplexed, and they don’t know what they’re talking about.  We tend to write them off as lost, faking it, saying things that seem profound but are really covering up their ignorance.

This is a dangerous approach.  We must be humble enough to ask, to display our ignorance if necessary.  We may get that original rolling of the eyes, but if we do sincerely ask what we’re missing, it may give us the opportunity to share something we know and actually help the situation.  The rolling of the eyes will quickly turn to respect and trigger good discussion.

Overcoming Being Perplexed

The best way to overcome or avoid being perplexed is to ask questions.  Be humble and sincere but ask the question about your perplexity.  Often, we’ll find out that each member of the team may be referring to something slightly different from the other team members.  They’re also perplexed but may not even recognize it.  Good questions lead to good discussion.  It’s interesting that the solution to being perplexed will often lead to the solution for affliction, which is united discussion about good solutions.

Have you ever noticed that the person who leads to the most innovative answer is the young person, the new person, or the person whose knowledge is in an entirely different area?  They don’t know that they don’t know and therefore ask some of the most profound questions that lead to innovative solutions.  They are perplexed, so they ask questions to cure their own perplexity but that can often lead to a more interesting discussion.  However, once that person has been around long enough to know “how things are done here,” their perplexity is either gone or kept silent.  Those profound questions no longer come.  This is a dangerous place to be.

Encourage perplexity!  As you work your way through being perplexed, great discussions can happen that lead to a much better understanding by everyone and may even come up with some great innovative solutions.

1 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogCulture

Unity Through Diversity

by Ron Potter

Truth, Love, Beauty, Unity.

You’ve heard this several times from me as a saying from Aristotle.  I actually use it for building teams.

  • Truth – be honest with each other and the team
  • Love – Show respect for each and every member of the team.
  • Beauty – Don’t make things complicated, make them simple.  (I’ve talked about the beauty of Einstein’s genius.  It was not his mathematical genius that helped him stand out as a pillar in his field.  It was his ability to simplify things.)
  • Unity – Work as a team.  Build unity.

In one sense we can view these as a progression.  By bringing out the truth, showing respect for individuals, ideas, and opinions, and boiling things down to the simplest of forms: we can then reach unity.  This doesn’t create uniformity; it creates unity through diversity.

Another Ancient Text

Many of us have heard the story about the Tower of Babel.  Most scholars put the writing of this book as much as a thousand years before Aristotle.  Most of us think this story is about the people of earth at that time building a tower so that they could become gods of their universe.  The reason this might have been possible is that the text says they had one language and the same words.  They had uniformity.  Earlier text indicated that the intent was for a diverse language and people.  The children of Noah (after the great flood) spread about the world and created different tribes and languages.  The intent was diversity.

The story of the Tower of Babel was about building a nation with one language.  In the passage from Genesis 11, God once again caused the nation to disperse into different tribes and different languages.  The goal was always diversity!

Uniformity vs Unity

These are close words but they mean different things.

Uniform: The same in all cases and at all times.  Unchanging in form or character.

Unity: The state of being in full agreement: Harmony.

The keyword in uniform is “unchanging.”  Nothing changes.  Beliefs don’t change.  Arguments don’t create change.  Different beliefs and opinions don’t change.  Referring to Aristotle’s statement, there is no need for Love (Respect) because nothing is going to change.  Without respect for other beliefs and opinions, nothing changes.

The keyword in unity is “Harmony.”  Have you ever been part of a choir, quartet, or jazz band/quartet?  I’ve been part of a choir off and on for many years.  I sing bass.  My sound and notes are very different from the altos and other sections of the choir.  But when we join all of our voices together, we create a wonderful and enjoyable harmony.

Have you ever listened to a great jazz quartet?  There is no written music, just great blended sound.  In fact, any instrument may take the lead at any time.  All of the other instruments listen, blend in, and create a great harmony together.  They create unity.

Uniformity or Unity

We’re seeing a great deal of uniformity in our nation at the moment.  Because of the lack of respect, there is no change, there is no listening.  There are only hard stances with an unwillingness to be open (and show respect for) other beliefs and opinions.  There is no ability to build a great nation in unity.

Business Teams have the ability to overcome this uniformity and create unity.  Business teams have the ability to be together because they are smaller and closer—although I worry about virtual teams. Business teams have the ability to share beliefs and opinions and listen to each other to build unity.

Our nation has less of a chance because of the desire to push an agenda to create a uniform belief (at least at a tribe level).

Build Unity

Build unity where you can.  I believe it’s easier at a team level because of the personal connections and a fewer number of members.  But, where ever you can, build unity on a national level.  This means examining your own “unchanging” views and being open to others’ believes and opinions.

Unity can save us from ourselves.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
BlogTeam

Reality Is Constructed By Our Brain

by Ron Potter

Neuroscientist Patrick Cavanagh says that “It’s really important to understand we’re not seeing reality, we’re seeing a story being created for us.”

Brain Stories

What actually creates these stories?  It’s our backgrounds, beliefs, assumptions that have been formed throughout our lifetime.  Dr. Cavanagh says that “Our brains bend our perception of reality to meet our desires or expectations.  They fill the gaps using our past experiences.”

Our brains see what we expect them to see.  I’ve talked before about how our backgrounds and experiences form our belief systems so that we see what we want or expect to see.  Remember the professor in Florida who had his class write down everything they could remember about the shuttle explosion that had occurred the day before? He collected all of their handwritten reports and then tracked down as many of them as he could several years later.  Not one of them agreed with what they had written because their memory was different.

One student actually read his 14 written pages very carefully and then totally rejected it.  He said the report was not correct then proceeded to tell the professor what “really” happened that day.  His mind had created its own reality in spite of what he had written down at the moment.

Curious About Our Brain Stories

If we know that our brain tends to make up stories so that we see and hear what we desire, shouldn’t we be curious enough to explore what the reality is compared to our brain story?

It’s when we don’t have that curiosity about our brain story and simply accept our perception as the reality that creates problems as leaders and team members.

Intellectual Humility

In a Vox article, Brian Resnick said “Intellectual humility: the importance of knowing you might be wrong.”

This is a great statement: knowing that you might be wrong.

The first part of that statement is “knowing”.  We all assume that our view of the world and circumstances is “correct”.  However, if we mature in our thinking we begin to understand that our view or opinion is firmly rooted in the experiences and history that we have lived.  Having respect for others indicates that we’re beginning to learn that their view or opinion is also firmly rooted in their experiences and history.  And just like snowflakes, no two human beings have exactly the same experiences.

The second part of the statement is knowing that we might be wrong.  I don’t believe that one set of experiences is right and one is wrong.  I simply believe they are each unique.  Building great teams starts with this premise.  With full respect, we start sharing the different opinions and beliefs that we each hold.  Once we’ve shared and understood, it’s then possible for the team to develop a unique response to the situation that belongs to the team.  Not an individual.

Team Unity

It’s when a team reaches this unity that they really begin to become a team.  They made the decision together.  They each had a different view coming into the discussion.  But they come out with a decision that the entire team supports.  Even when others remind us that we had a very different opinion going into the team discussion we can honestly say, “that’s true, I did have a different opinion but as I heard each of the different opinions and listened with respect, we were able to make a team decision that I completely support.”

Team decisions that are made after each person has been listened to, understood, and respected for their opinions are the strongest types of decisions.  Team members all support the decision and people around the team can easily see the commitment to the decision and the trust and respect they have for each other.  This kind of team can lead a company to new heights.

Try it.  It really works!

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterEmail
Newer Posts
Older Posts