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BlogCulture

Growth Mindset

by Ron Potter September 17, 2020

Fritz Seyferth is a great friend of mine and a wonderful executive coach and counselor.  He promotes Growth Mindset as the first requirement of great leadership.

I recently read a short article by Andrew Cole titled “Adopting a Growth Mindset”  on Linkedin.

Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset

Andrew talks of a Growth Mindset with a quote: “Failure is an opportunity to grow,” and a Fixed Mindset as “Failure is the limit of my abilities.”  I think these are excellent summaries of each mindset.

Andrew also does a great job of using short statements to help you understand each mindset type.

Growth Mindset

  • I can learn to do anything I want
  • Challenges help me to grow
  • My effort and attitude determine my abilities
  • Feedback is constructive
  • I am inspired by the success of others
  • I like to try new things

Before I list the points of a Fixed Mindset, review each one of these in a silent moment of reflection.  Do you fully believe one, some, or all of them?  Are there elements of each that you don’t believe you possess or could accomplish?

Think about them for a minute.  Think about them over time.  Write down your thoughts and answers. (There’s something about writing that solidifies ideas and brings your thoughts to life).

Can you really learn anything you want?  As I thought about that one I felt there were things I couldn’t learn.  As I thought about them more, I began to realize they were things I didn’t want to learn.  Why not?

  • Was I afraid I couldn’t learn them?
  • Did I really see no use for them in my life?
  • If I was able to learn them, would that enhance my life or open new doors for me?

As I began to think about the answers to these questions, I realized that I had to be very clear about what I did want to learn in my life and why.  Where was I headed?  Was I stuck?  How would I rate my happiness level?  Am I spending my time working on things that are meaningful to me now or will be in the future?  All of that from examining one simple statement.  That’s what a Growth Mindset can do for you.

Fixed Mindset

  • I’m either good at it or I’m not
  • My abilities are unchanging
  • I don’t like to be challenged
  • I can either do it or I can’t
  • My potential is predetermined
  • When I’m frustrated I give up
  • Feedback and criticism are personal
  • I stick to what I know

It was fascinating that as I wrote each one of these statements the name of another person came to mind.  I could quickly and easily see the Fixed Mindset attributes in others.  As with many things, it’s easy to see things in others and difficult to see them in ourselves.

But don’t just skip over these Fixed Mindset Attributes.  Just like the Growth Mindset, examine yourself.  It’s likely you’ll learn more than you did when you questioned the Growth Mindset attributes.

Learning About Yourself

One of the statements that Andrew Cole makes in his article says,

In adopting a growth mindset, my worries about my perceived intelligence or abilities have dramatically dissipated.  I no longer value my ‘self-validation’ in the world.

I’ve realized how to ask better questions.  Questions framed to generate conversation as a means of establishing trust with others.  (italics are mine)

The subtitle on Fritz’s home page says

FS/A elevates leaders and connects individuals and teams to their purpose to positively alter the trajectory of organizations.

Growth Mindset

Do you have a growth mindset?  Do you need a growth mindset? Only if you want to be happy. 😉

  • Examine yourself
  • Check out the LinkedIn article and what else Andrew Cole might have to say.
  • Contact Fritz at FS/A to get you and your team on a Growth Mindset trajectory.
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REPOST

ROUNDUP: Curiousity

by Ron Potter July 6, 2023
A Note From the Editor:
As we recently mentioned, we are reposting popular blog posts while Ron is recovering from some health issues. Are you curious about curiosity?

Ron’s Short Review: I just love the idea of curiosity and use it often to help myself and clients learn to listen better.  Brian Grazer (Ron Howard’s movie producing partner) makes a great case for how intentional curiosity has helped him live a richer life.  I did take a few notes but I think the book could have been written with at least one third fewer pages.  I think the books “A More Beautiful Question” and “Learn or Die” have a little more meat on the topic.


Ron’s Short Review: This one really convinces you that managers have answers, true leaders have questions, provoke questions and teach their teams to constantly question.


Ron’s Short Review: Many organizations rely on getting better, faster, and cheaper, others rely on innovation to drive growth. Both require learning.


Are You Curious?

Be careful how you answer, it may define your chances of success!

Source: Beverly & Pack, Creative Commons

Source: Beverly & Pack, Creative Commons

I’ve been reading A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life by Brian Grazer.  Most of us know Brian because of his movie making partnership with Ron Howard.  Look at their film biography sometime.  All great films.

But the reason I started reading the book was not because of who Brain was but because of the title, A Curious Mind.  For much of my consulting career, the word curious has been an important concept in my work.  One issue that I seem to be working on with many leaders and in fact the one that seems to gain them the most traction in becoming better leaders is listening.  I try to help them grasp the concept and practice of listening with an intention to understand rather than listening with the intention to respond.  It really makes a difference in people’s lives and in our learning ability if we can make this shift to listening to the other person to completely understand what they’re saying and what’s behind or driving what they’re saying.  Stop trying to figure out how you’re going to respond to the person and just listen to understand them.

When my clients ask for help at getting better at listening to understand I talk to them about curiosity.  Everyone seems to be curious about something.  Everyone seems to have at least one topic that they enjoy, are passionate about, never tire of learning about, and are tremendously curious about.

What happens to your mind when you’re pursuing that curiosity?

  • How are you thinking about the topic?
  • Why do you want to learn more about the topic?
  • What happens when you learn a whole new aspect of the topic?
  • What happens when you learn something that seems to be counter to what you’ve learned in the past or thought you already knew or understood?

What’s happening is that you’re unleashing your curiosity.

Humble leaders listen to others with curiosity.  They want to learn.  They want their beliefs challenged and upset.  They’re gaining new perspectives.  Warren Berger really fleshes this out in his book A More Beautiful Question.

A few of the quotes that caught my eye from Brian included:

  • “Life isn’t about finding the answers, it’s about asking the questions.”
  • “I’ve discovered that even when you’re in charge, you are often much more effective asking questions than giving orders.”
  • “I’m a boss—Ron Howard and I run Imagine together—but I’m not much of an order giver. My management style is to ask questions. If someone’s doing something I don’t understand, or don’t like, if someone who works for me is doing something unexpected, I start out asking questions. Being curious.”

Are you curious?  Are you a leader?  You won’t be good at leading if you’re not good with curiosity!


This post was originally posted here on September 24, 2015. These reviews were originally posted here, here, and here on September 26, 2015, January 25, 2014, and May 24, 2014.
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BlogLeadership

Boss – Leader

by Ron Potter January 5, 2023

On LinkedIn the other day, Fabio Moioli displayed a chart with the differences between a Boss and a Leader.  I thought it was well done and here are the ten he listed:

Touchy, Feely Consultant

The more I looked at the list the more powerful it became.  I’ve had bosses that fit mostly in the Boss category and a few bosses that fit into the Leader category.  I had a very successful consulting career for 30 years.  As I looked at the list and thought about how I conducted my consulting work, I believe much of the success I experienced was due to the fact that I worked off the Leader list as much as possible.  It also struck me that it had been very difficult functioning as a helpful consultant when the person I was working with believed very much in the Boss list.

I remember one vice president who functioned on the Boss side of the ledger.  To start with, he could just not figure out why his boss had hired me to help him with his leadership skills.  After all, he had been very successful (in his mind) working on the Boss side of the ledger.  Why on earth would he need this touchy, feely consultant?  He just didn’t get it.

Almost everyone who had worked for him over the years had either asked for a transfer or left the company.  When I asked him about that statistic, he considered them weak and blamed them for their failures.  It obviously had nothing to do with him.

Boss vs Leader

If you’re in a leadership position, think about each of those terms.

  • When you’re talking about the success of your group, are you talking about the great example you presented so that your team would do the right thing?
  • When you give an assignment to one of your direct reports, do you explain every detail and how you want it done, or do you allow them to be creative?  I’ve worked with people who had that micromanaging boss and it wasn’t long before they stopped taking any initiative and just waited for the boss to tell them what to do.
  • It’s easy to criticize.  It takes work and discipline to encourage when things go wrong.  I’m a football fan.  You can always tell what kind of coach you’re watching just by how they treat their players when the player makes a mistake.  Those who encourage the player and help them learn build great teams full of players that want to do their best.
  • Focusing on weaknesses vs strengths can be a tough one.  I don’t believe it’s a good idea to ignore weaknesses but it’s also important to help your team learn from their weaknesses and turn them into strengths.
  • I’ve also been in team meetings where the boss never shuts up.  Pretty soon most of the participants tune out what is being said and never learn.  The leader who listens and encourages grows great teams.
  • Whether they intend to or not, bosses are always inspiring others.  They either inspire fear or enthusiasm.  Inspiring fear brings the growth of a team to a halt.  As a leader, make sure others are inspired to be enthusiastic and do better.  Growing teams become powerful teams.

Easy to Get Trapped

It’s very easy to remain a Boss when you should be a Leader.  Being a Leader brings risks.  If the team fails, you feel like you’re failing.  But don’t make the mistake of believing that being a Boss will eliminate failure.

The best approach to becoming (or remaining) a Leader is to have a confidant who will tell you the straight story.  This confidant may be an outside or inside consultant.  It may be someone on the team who you trust and who is not afraid to tell you straight out how you’re performing.  It may be someone totally removed from the work environment that you can talk with and be straight with and they’ll be straight with you.

But all of these things are difficult to see on your own.  It takes a partner of some sort who you trust will give you the straight scoop.

Being a Leader

It’s difficult to be a Leader.  It takes hard work, good listening skills, and a lot of humility.  Find someone you trust who you can be honest with and they’ll be honest with you.  It will pay you great rewards.

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An artistic representation of Jesus Christ being crucified.
BlogPersonal

Suffering

by Ron Potter June 7, 2022

It never amazes me which of my blogs gain the most comments. Recently, it was my blog on Physical Therapy.

In that blog, I listed a dozen things that were posted on the wall in my physical therapist’s office. They included:

Dozen Rules to Live By

  1. Live God-Centered
  2. Love People and Build Relationships
  3. Create Remarkable Experiences Through Exceptional Service
  4. Promote Growth and Embrace Change
  5. Be Generous
  6. Pursue Excellence
  7. Be Efficient
  8. Act with Honesty and Integrity
  9. Stay Humble
  10. Utilize Strengths and Passions
  11. Encourage Autonomy, Innovation, and Clarity
  12. Be Transparent

Jesus Suffered

Jesus lived the perfect life. He never did anything to deserve the pain and suffering of being crucified—crucified by hanging on the cross, the most painful execution ever devised by man at that point in time. It was painful and humiliating. In the Bible, God requires payment for sin. The most sinless man alive was Christ, and yet he suffered the full humiliation of crucifixion. Neither the Bible nor Christ ever promised that we would not experience pain or suffering. In fact, quite the opposite; they indicate that suffering will always be part of life. It is our job to suffer without blaming those around us.

Suffering is a part of life. It is those who go through life blaming others for their suffering who miss out on a big part of life. My suffering through liver disease is simply part of life’s suffering. While I was suffering through my disease, my General Practitioner lost his wife. He was left with four young children. Which of us suffered more?

Three of my friends and I travel north each year to play golf together. I have liver disease, one of my friends has cancer, one has Parkinson’s, and one suffers from heart disease (though he may be the healthiest of the four of us). Which one of us suffers more? My definition of friendship is worrying about my buddies regardless of what I may be suffering. Each of us feels the same pain, and that is what makes us great friends.

 

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BlogCulturePersonal

Physical Therapy

by Ron Potter May 19, 2022

I’ve been in Physical Therapy (PT) for the last several weeks.  It’s a concept that can strike terror into your heart.

Pain

There is no shortage of pain or suffering while you’re at PT.  In fact, I’ve accused them of updating machines from the torture of evil dungeons.

The staff at PT doesn’t let up on the pain and suffering caused by their work.  In fact, they won’t let up until I get it right or I get enough repetitions to produce some gain from the effort.  They’re relentless in causing pain and suffering in order to gain ground on my ailment.

Encouraging

However, during the effort that is painful and exhausting, I find the staff to be very encouraging and motivating.  What causes this seeming dilemma?  On the wall, they have posted their dozen rules to live by.

Dozen Rules to Live By

  1. Live God-Centered
  2. Love People and Build Relationships
  3. Create Remarkable Experiences Through Exceptional Service
  4. Promote Growth and Embrace Change
  5. Be Generous
  6. Pursue Excellence
  7. Be Efficient
  8. Act with Honesty and Integrity
  9. Stay Humble
  10. Utilize Strengths and Passions
  11. Encourage Autonomy, Innovation, and Clarity
  12. Be Transparent

Let me expand on a few of these.

Live God-Centered

God doesn’t promise a pain-free life.  Be he does promise to love us and will always be with us.  That’s what the people at physical therapy do.  They are always with us through the entire exercise set and they make us feel cared for and appreciated when they’re administrating pain (in an effort to make us better).

Love People and Build Relationships

As people approach the end of their life, their minds turn to relationships.  I hope I have many years left but I do find my mind and memories turning to relationships.

I received a text message from a friend I first knew forty years ago.  I was so glad to get that message that I immediately called him back.  He had coded the first computer program I ever developed.  We spent many hours going through the code and becoming great friends along the journey.

Promote Growth and Embrace Change

Change is the part of life that people seem to resist the most.  Although things are constantly changing, there seems to be a desire to ignore or deny that things are changing.  Things constantly change.  Embrace it.

Act with Honesty and Integrity

Honesty and Integrity are the elements that people remember about us.  You can be generous, excellent, and efficient (numbers 5, 6, and 7) above, but honesty and integrity are what people will remember about you.

Be Humble and Transparent

Humility and transparency (numbers 9 and 12) are the two other aspects that will be long remembered.  People with these traits seem to be fully trusted and are long remembered.  When you’re administering pain (in PT) people must feel your humbleness and transparency or they won’t come back.

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BlogFacing AdversityRegrets

Regrets—Text to Corinthians

by Ron Potter April 14, 2022

We started off these two blog series with Paul’s text to the Corinthians.  He listed the following items:

  • Afflicted but not crushed
  • Perplexed but not driven to dispair
  • Persecuted but not forsaken
  • Struck Down but not destroyed

We then looked at Daniel Pink’s book The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward. Pink identifies the four core regrets:

  • Foundation
    They begin with an irresistible lure and with incredible logic.
  • Boldness
    Thwarted possibility of growth.   The failure to become the person—happier, braver, more evolved, than we could have been.
  • Moral
    Deceit, infidelity, theft, betrayal, sacrilege.
  • Connection
    Meaningful relationships.

Together, they make some interesting connections.  In Paul’s letter, we experience great difficulties and painful points in our lives.  But in the end, they don’t break us.  We are not crushed, driven to despair, forsaken, or destroyed.

In Pink’s book, the four regrets of foundational, boldness, morals, and connection are capable of breaking us and in all cases are self-inflicted.  In Paul’s writing, the pain and suffering are no more or less than those identified by Pink.  However, in Paul’s letter, there is a sense that these things happen in everyday life.  While we should examine our own behavior and beliefs to determine if we are contributing to the affliction, perplexion, persecution, and personal destruction put forth by Paul—in the end, it may have nothing to do with our own behavior.  Daniel Pink says that it essentially has everything to do with our personal behavior.

Regrets: Self-Inflicted

If you look at each of Pink’s regrets, there is a self-infliction:

    • Foundational:  It starts with an irresistible lure.  This may be food, sex (also mentioned in the moral section), or materialistic desires.  I’ve mentioned that my irresistible lures are new cars (I’ve had a new one every three years over the past 50 years).  And watches.  The self-inflicted part happens when we let our logic run ramrod over knowing that certain things are just wrong.  I have an incredibility logical mind.  I can convince myself that almost anything can be explained through logic.  And I’m good at it.  My self-infliction is in allowing my logical brain to convince myself that my logic overrules irresistible lures.  I’m just too “smart” to be dictated by my feelings.
    • In the boldness category, Pink makes the point that we’re just not bold enough to try new things.  I’ve had three major careers since graduating from engineering school.  The first was walking steel 160′ in the air.  The second was developing a software company at the beginning of the microcomputer age.  The third was TLC (Team Leadership Culture) consulting all over the world.  A lot of people would say to me, “I couldn’t do that, I was never qualified.  How were you able to accomplish three different careers and work all over the world?”  It’s because I was bold and willing to try new and different things.  I never felt qualified either.  It just seemed like the new and bold thing to do at the time.  Our lack of boldness is self-inflicted when we feel that we must be qualified first.  If you’re bold in trying new things, you’re never qualified.
    • Moral.  In this one, I focused on sacrilege.  It doesn’t have to be a religious issue.  Sacrilege means “violation or misuse of what is regarded as sacred.”  What do you consider as sacred?  Violating it will cause suffering.
    • Connection.  I have at least three groups of good friends.  Two of the groups are (or were) centered in Ann Arbor where we lived for 35 years.  One group is built around our GPS4Leaders App.  We’ve gone through good times and bad but have stuck together for several years.  The second ground of guys have given ourselves the name “Space Cadets.”  This is a group from several professions and we spend our time discussing clients and how to add the best of who we are to help them grow and become better.  I feel very close to this group.  We also moved to Grand Rapids, MI, a few years ago to be close to one daughter and our two grandchildren (our other daughter and grandkids live around the world and are currently in Tunisia).  We are now a part of a Grand Rapids church and have developed several friends there.  We’re very blessed with all of these connections.

Pain: Everyday and Self-Inflicted

Paul talks about the difficulties that we face in this world.  If we have examined ourselves and feel we’re seeing everything clearly, these are difficulties that we face just because we live here.

Pink, on the other hand, talks about regrets being self-inflicted.  We can avoid that by examing ourselves and our motives.  It often takes that close friend who we trust who is not afraid to point out our flaws and shortcomings.  But we must have someone that we’re that close to and who is willing to tell us what they are seeing in our behavior.  Avoid self-inflicted pain—the world is full of enough pains for us without the ones we cause ourselves.

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BlogRegrets

Regrets – Foundational

by Ron Potter March 17, 2022

A friend of mine recently sent me Daniel Pink’s latest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.  (Thanks, Chris.)

While I haven’t fully read this book yet, it seems like the perfect next sequence after the series of being afflicted, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down.

Four Core Regrets

Let’s take a look at the Four Core Regrets that Pink identifies:

  • Foundation

Foundational regrets begin with an irresistible lure and end with inexorable logic.

  • Boldness

At the heart of all boldness regrets is the thwarted possibility of growth.  The failure to become the person—happier, braver, more evolved—one could have been.  The failure to accomplish a few important goals within the limited span of a single life.

  • Moral

Deceit.  Infidelity. Theft. Betrayal. Sacrilege.  Sometimes the moral regrets people submitted to the surveys read like the production notes for a Ten Commandments training video.

  • Connection

What gives our lives significance and satisfaction are meaningful relationships.  But when those relationships come apart, whether by intent or inattention, what stands in the way of bringing them back together are feelings of awkwardness.  We fear that we’ll botch our efforts to reconnect, that we’ll make intended recipients even more uncomfortable.  Yet these concerns are almost always misplaced.

Unavoidable Foundation Regrets

We start with the foundational regrets. Like the issues identified in Paul’s letter to the people of Corinth in the last several blogs, these seem to be unavoidable.  I believe I am an honorable person with good intent.  But as I look back over my life, the first thing that comes to mind is my many regrets.  I am reminded of regrets in each of the four core regrets identified by Pink.

  • Irresistible Lure.  Irresistible means impossible.  Have you been drawn to something that just seems irresistible?  Fortunate for me, immoral things haven’t been irresistible.  However, two material things have seemed irresistible to me.  One is a nice car.  I’m not talking about super-expressive cars but I am talking about the top-of-the-line American cars.  I decided with my first new car in 1969 that I was not going to resist a new car every three years.  Both of my daughters and sons-in-law find that rather extravagant because they are into decent used cars.
    My other irresistible lure has been nice watches.  I think it was because my father bought my first new all-electric watch for my high school graduation.  I’ve been in love with nice watches ever since.
  • Inexorable Logic.  The word inexorable means impossible to stop or prevent.  I have been a very logical person all my life.  I can convince myself of almost anything.  The logic of my own reasoning becomes so strong and sound that it becomes almost impossible to resist or deny.  Unlike automobiles where I made the illogical decision to lease a new car every three years (knowing it is illogical), I talk myself into the new watch with pure logic (or at least I think so).

Convincing Ourselves

My regrets tend to be more materialistic.  But I know that some people deal with immoral issues.  Like the new car in my case, I openly admit that a new car every three years doesn’t make sense.  But if you reached an immoral decision and don’t openly admit it as being immoral, then it tends toward the evil side of human behavior.  You know that it’s immoral but you decide to do it anyway.

For those issues where you’re convinced in your mind (through logic or ignorance), you need that trusted friend who is capable of saying to you, “You know that’s wrong, don’t you?”

Dealing with Foundational Regrets

Don’t be evil.  The world knows it, and more importantly, you know it.  Evil will eat at your character and humaneness.  Evil will become one of the more painful things in your life.

Don’t let your bad logic overcome your wisdom.  You need that trusted friend who will say, “You know what you’re doing is wrong and unwise.”  Listen to them.  Examine yourself and your motives.  Allow them to be that trusted friend you need.

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BlogCulture

Humans Project in Straight Lines

by Ron Potter January 6, 2022

“It’s difficult to make predictions, especially about the future.” ~ Mark Twain

A friend of mine who recently retired and is now fighting cancer said to me the other day:  You said something to me years ago that has helped me tremendously through these hard times.  I immediately wonder what I might have said years ago that is having that kind of impact today.  He then explained.  You once said to me that the human mind projects in straight lines but nothing in the world runs in a straight line.  I do remember learning and saying that.  If things were going well, my mind assumed they would continue to improve.  If things were going poorly, my mind assumed things would continue to get worse.  It never works out that way.

Straight Line Projections

  • K&E Company (the makers of high-end slide rules) did a visionary study on their hundredth anniversary in 1967.  I was a sophomore in college and did all of my calculations on a K&E slide rule.  Their study missed the coming electronic calculator.  K&E shut down their slide rule engravers in 1976.
  • A late 60″s prediction was cheap energy forever.  The oil embargo happened in 1973.
  • By the late 80’s economic growth based on new industries and discoveries looked dim.  Netscape went public with their internet browser in 1995.
  • People tend to overestimate what they’re experiencing at the moment and undervalue the possibilities in the future.  This reinforces Mark Twain’s quote that it’s difficult to make predictions, especially about the future.

Straight Lines Tend To Be Short

It’s OK to make predictions and decisions based on how things are going today.  The mistake that most leaders make is assuming that the trajectory they are on (up or down) will last longer than it ever does.

I’ve seen many examples of this during my consulting career.  I’ll have to be careful telling about one example because if people know that industry, they’ll know which company I’m talking about.  In this example, the particular company had been the industry leader for over a hundred years.  They made the best and highest quality product within the industry.  They assumed that trend would continue and made plans and decisions based on the fact that the public would always purchase the highest quality product available.  But the buying public is finicky.  They actually changed their behavior and started purchasing less expensive products in large numbers.

I watched another client struggle with losing customers.  When the leaders asked some of their key employees why they were losing market share, the answer was “customers don’t see us as a nutritious option anymore.”  The leaders discounted their own employees by proclaiming that their products have been seen and promoted as a nutritious project for over a hundred years.  That couldn’t have changed overnight.  But it had changed overnight while the leaders were still projecting in straight lines based on the past.

This last example is not about a particular company but an entire industry.  Many of my clients through the years have been in the pharmaceutical industry.  The pharma industry may be one of the riskiest industries in existence.  They will often take several years and invest nearly a billion dollars bringing a drug to market only to have it fail to pass human trials or FDA approval at the last minute.  I can’t think of any other industry that takes that kind of risk.

I’m going to make a political statement here that I often avoid.  There has been a lot of discussion from our government on price controls.  It’s not a price control issue, it’s a trade issue.  Nearly all other countries in the world do put price controls on drugs.  This leaves the United States carrying the burden of the cost of development.  If the US also puts price controls in place, there will be no further development of new drugs.  Let’s fix the trade issue and have other countries pay their fair share of development.

Once a new drug has been accepted and makes it to the marketplace, there are a limited number of years left on the original patent for the company to earn back the high cost of development.  Once a drug goes off-patent and becomes generic, I’ve seen many companies assume that the brand name drug sales still have a life that will tail off slowly.  It never does.  Once a generic is available, sales of the brand name drug drop to zero almost immediately.  Thinking in straight lines can be deadly.

What’s a Leadership Team To Do?

It can be difficult for leaders and leadership teams to not get caught in the straight line syndrome.  Here are a couple of ways to avoid that issue:

  • Listen to the outlier.  When there is an outlier on the team their opinion is often discounted.  It’s just easier to go with the majority rather than reconcile the outlier’s thoughts.  Don’t do that.  Listen to what they have to say.  Listen with the intent to understand rather than reply.  Don’t try to fit their thinking into your view of the world.  Listen to how they see the world differently.
  • Nurture new and inexperienced employees to look at things differently.  People from different disciplines view things differently.  Listen to how they see the issue.  Inexperienced employees often have the freshest views on things.  They don’t know what they don’t know yet.  They often ask interesting, novel, and surprising questions that experienced people have forgotten.
  • Listen to experts carefully. “Experts”  know the answers they’re looking for and discount new ideas and outliers.  We need our experts.  But don’t just assume that their answers and opinions are right or the final answer.  They know what they’re looking for and discount answers and opinions that don’t agree with their preconceived ideas.
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BlogCulture

Four Tools of Discipline

by Ron Potter December 9, 2021

Shane Parrish (my favorite blogger) wrote an article titled “The Four Tools of Discipline”.  The four he lists are:

  1. Delaying Gratification
  2. Accepting Responsibility
  3. Dedication to Reality
  4. Balancing

Dealing with Difficulties

Shane sets up the article with a few quotes from other well-known people.

Scott Peck from “The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth”.  This has been one of my favorite books through the years.

Peck points out that most of us want to avoid problems.  They’re painful, frustrating, sad, and lonely.  All things that we would prefer to avoid.  But he also points out that the whole process of facing, dealing with, and solving problems is what gives meaning to our lives.

Benjamin Franklin said, “Those things that hurt, instruct.”  He said that fearing the pain involved we attempt to avoid them.  We procrastinate, ignore, forget, and pretend they don’t exist.  We attempt to get out of the pain rather than suffer through it.

Avoiding problems avoids the opportunity for growth!  Shane lists the four disciplines needed to face and deal with the problems.

Delaying Gratification

We’ve all seen this play out in our lives.  I’ve been desiring a new watch.  Do I need one?  Not really.  Do I need one right now?  Definitely not!  What would delayed gratification tell me to do?  Wait?  The price will likely come down.  I have a watch that meets my needs right now?  Will I put off the purchase of the new watch?  Probably not.  Why?  Because I want it and I want it right now.

You can see the difference in children who have learned to delay their gratification.  If they haven’t, they want something now and will raise all kinds of calamity so that the parents will stop trying to delay their gratification and just give them what they want in order to shut them up.  The child has learned that if they just throw a new and louder tantrum, they’ll eventually get what they want.  They never learn delayed gratification.  Unfortunately, that leads to difficulties as young adults and even into their adult lives.

Accepting Responsibility

Shane says that accepting responsibility is emotionally uncomfortable.  He’s right.  It’s easier to say

  • traffic delayed me
  • someone else did the wrong thing, it wasn’t my fault
  • no one told me about the bigger picture or what was at stake
  • It wasn’t my fault.  It wasn’t my fault.  It wasn’t my fault.

The list goes on and on.  Shane closes that section with the following statement

Whenever we seek to avoid responsibility for our own behavior, we do so by attempting to give that responsibility to some other individual, organization, or entity.

Dedication to Reality

My blog last week was titled “Reality is Constructed by Our Brain”.  In that blog, I quoted Brian Resnick who said “Intellectual humility: the importance of knowing you might be wrong.  Knowing that you might be wrong should drive you to be curious about how others see their “reality”.  If it doesn’t create that curiosity, it causes us to dig in our heels about what we believe to be true and our own version of what reality is.

Scott Peck says “Truth or reality is avoided when it is painful.  We can revise our maps only when we have the discipline to overcome that pain.”

Shane says “The only way we can ensure our map is correct and accurate is to expose it to the criticism of others.”

If we believe our view of the world is the one and only correct view, we remain closed to the view of others.

Balancing

Shane says that “Balancing is the discipline that gives us flexibility.  Extraordinary flexibility is required for successful living in all spheres of activity.”

A few blogs back I talked about Simone Biles and the balance she exhibits in her gymnastic routines.  There are only a handful of people in the world who can come close to the physical balance she exhibits.  But many of us can work at and accomplish that kind of balance in our mental thinking.

Delaying gratification.
Accepting responsibility.
Dedication to reality.
Balancing.

Let’s close with the last one, “Balancing”.  Think about balancing the other three.  If the first three get too far out of balance with each other, problems arise.

Too much-delayed gratification without a dedication to reality will lead to frustration.  Eventually, the question will arise, delayed gratification to what end?  If there is nothing at the end of the tunnel, the delayed gratification is for nothing, it only leads to frustration.

As I was about to write the next statement about “Accepting Responsibility”, I found myself looking over at a picture of my father.  He had lost a leg during WWII.  I never heard him talk about how the Germans were responsible.  I never heard him talk about how the generals and leadership were responsible.  While he may not have accepted responsibility, he did accept reality.  He came home from the war, married, started a business, and had four children.

The picture I found myself looking at was dad (with his cane) and all four kids out on a frozen pond with a hatched while he taught us to cut a hole in the ice for ice fishing.  Looking at that picture reminded me why he has been one of the most influential in my life.

Balance.  Balance.  Balance.

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The Neuroscience of Trust

by Ron Potter August 26, 2021

The brain is an amazing thing.  I’ve read a few things through the years about how brain chemistry affects Trust.  But a recent article on the Harvard Business Review shed even more light on the topic.

The Neuroscience of Trust

is written by Paul Zak.  Over a decade ago Mr. Zak and his research began to measure the brain activity of people while they worked.  His research began to reveal eight ways that leaders can effectively create and manage a culture of trust.  His research began to reveal some amazing things but he admits that he couldn’t answer the question: Why do two people trust each other in the first place?  Humans are naturally inclined to trust but don’t always.  Why?

This began a ten-year search to find a neurologic signal that we should trust someone.

The first signal that began to show up was our levels of Oxytocin in our brains.  High Oxytocin levels during our exchange with others seemed to be a clear indicator of trust while low levels made us cautious and less apt to trust.  Oxytocin appeared to do just one thing – reduce the fear of trusting a stranger.

From this research, Mr. Zak began to see eight behaviors that increased Oxytocin and increased levels of trust.

Eight Management behavior that fostered trust.

The eight elements that have become effective include:

  1. Recognize Excellence
  2. Induce “challenge stress”
  3. Give people discretion in how they do their work.
  4. Enable job crafting
  5. Share information broadly
  6. Intentionally build relationships
  7. Facilitate whole-person growth
  8. Show vulnerability

I will not go into each topic in depth.  You can read the article at: https://hbr.org/2017/01/the-neuroscience-of-trust for more detail.  But I do want to highlight a few points I’ve experienced in my 30 years of consulting.

Recognize Excellence

Annual performance reviews don’t work.  Someone once said that if you wait a few days to punish or reward a dog for his behavior he has no idea of the cause and doesn’t learn anything.  I’m not trying to compare humans to dogs but the brain science of punishment and rewards are the same.  If they are not received almost immediately while the incident is fresh in everyone’s mind, almost no learning takes place.  Immediate recognition for excellence is highly rewarding to the individual.

Induce “challenge stress”

When a challenge is difficult but achievable, it releases Oxytocin in the brain that intensifies focus and strengthens social connections.   But this works only if challenges are attainable and have a specific endpoint.  Vague or impossible goals cause people to give up before they even start and reduces the level of Oxytocin, making it more difficult to trust.

Give people discretion in how they do their work.

One of the interesting outcomes of this issue I’ve seen through the years is that when a boss not only tells employees what to do but also how to do it, it creates an attitude in people that says, “If the boss is going to tell me how to do a task, I’ll never do it exactly as they think it should be done, therefore, I’m not going to do anything until I’m told how to do it.”  People are no longer invested in their work and will do the bare minimum required.

Enable job crafting

Mr. Zak’s statement on this topic is “The companies trust employees to choose which project they’ll work on, people focus their energies on what they care about most.”  Often there are tasks to be done that nobody really wants to do.  That’s reality.  However, people know that these tasks exist and understand that they must be accomplished for the company to fully function.  They really don’t mind doing these tasks if they know that they’ll also be given ample opportunity to complete tasks they care about.  Make sure they realize that you’ll allow them to do those desired tasks as much as you can.

Share information broadly

Only 40% of employees report that they are well informed about their company’s goals, strategies, and tactics.  I’ve worked with the Denison Consulting group for many years.  (https://www.denisonconsulting.com).  Years ago they developed a corporate culture survey where they can demonstrate that companies who score higher on the overall chart also perform better financially.  Three key elements of that survey include Vision, Goals and Objectives, Strategic Direction and Intent.  Sharing these things with all employees on a regular basis produces better financial results.

Intentionally build relationships

Through the years I’ve heard many corporate leaders make the statement “I’m not here to be their friend, I’m here to get the task done.”  Wrong!  You don’t have to be fishing or drinking buddies but people need to know that you care for them as human beings, not just for what they can accomplish.  Get to know your people.  Build relationships.

Facilitate whole-person growth

High trust workplaces help people develop personally as well as professionally.  This requires that you intentionally build relationships.  You must know the whole person, not just what they do.  All too often managers believe they’re investing in their people because they’re giving them training courses to further their skills in what they already do.  While appreciated it’s not investing in the whole person.  I heard one story of a manager who knew that one of her employees loved playing the guitar in a small band.  So that manager bought the employee a new and upgraded guitar.  That investment indicated to the employee that they were understood as a whole person and that gift increased trust and loyalty well beyond what a training course in advanced accounting would have ever done.

Show vulnerability

Even though this is the last one on the list I would rather it be number one.  Good leaders are humble human beings.  It takes humility to be vulnerable.  Humble leaders genuinely ask for the input of their team.  They don’t have all the answers.  Research indicates that this aspect alone produces a great deal of oxytocin in others which increases their trust and cooperation.

List of eight

So there is the list of eight behaviors that foster trust:

  1. Recognize Excellence
  2. Induce “challenge stress”
  3. Give people discretion in how they do their work.
  4. Enable job crafting
  5. Share information broadly
  6. Intentionally build relationships
  7. Facilitate whole-person growth
  8. Show vulnerability

If you’re a leader trying to develop trust and teamwork, don’t try to tackle them all at once.  That becomes confusing to the team.  Pick the issue that you think will return the greatest rewards.  Ask the team if you’ve picked the right one and listen with the intent to understand.  That act in itself will require humility/vulnerability which will instantly increase trust.  Work on that one item and get frequent feedback from the team about your progress.  Once you’ve got that first one producing good results, tackle the next one.  You’ll be surprised how quickly the others begin to fall in place once you get better at the most important two or three.

Build trust.  It’s the only way to build great teams.

 

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BlogLeadership

Is it a Wonderful Life?

by Ron Potter June 17, 2021

From the movie “It’s a wonderful life” George Bailey and his angel, Clarence.

Clarence was a wonderful gift for George.  Unlike us, Clarence was able to show George what life would have been like if he had never been born.

What did George learn from that experience?

Background

Let’s take a minute to remember the overall storyline.  Many of us have seen the movie at Christmas time through the years.

In the movie, George has a great yearning to travel and see the world.  Right after he is married and on his way for their first adventure with his new wife, the stock market crashes.  George worked for his father’s local building-and-loan business.  When it was obvious that something was wrong, George abandoned his trip and went into the building-and-loan to help with the chaos.  Pretty soon, George found himself stuck in the life he wanted to get away from.

Something Just Crashed and Went Wrong

Not only are we facing the changing world of Covid, as I wrote about last week, but the United States suffered the weakest growth for the ten years following the 2008 crash and recession.  It seemed that we were being told by our own government “get used to it, this is the new normal”.  I found myself getting depressed and worried over that attitude.

I also find myself even more worried today as I watch my grandchildren (ages 13-20) face this very scary new norm.  One article I read said, “many young people have lost hope seeing their labor produce so little reward”.  I consider myself very blessed in that all of my grandchildren have a good work ethic.  I even mentioned to one granddaughter that I lose track that she’s only a junior (now senior) in high school because she works so hard.   She seems all grown up going to school and working most afternoons and evenings.

And yet I hear her and some of her cousins speaking fondly of socialism.  But as one article said, “when the rewards for working and sweating end, prosperity withers and freedom dies”.

The Gift of Clarence

In the movie, George is actually able to meet his angel …it’s a movie.  It doesn’t fit with my Christian beliefs 😉 and this pays off in a wonderful reward.  George is thinking he would be better off if he had never been born.  Clarence allows George to see the world as if he had never existed.  George sees a very dismal world because he was not in it working hard, caring, helping, and loving.

Be a Clarence

Be a friend.  Be a mentor.  Be a parent.  Be a grandparent.  Help others —young people, children, and grandchildren see and experience A Wonderful Life.  It may not seem like they’re listening at the time but you would be amazed how much it sticks with them.  I remember mentors from decades ago.  I still remember their words, the circumstances of the situation, and the fact that they cared enough to share with me.  I may not have told them how much it meant but their words still stick with me today.

Be a mentor.  Share with someone.  Take time to talk with someone.  You may not be immediately rewarded but the lessons and wisdom you pass on will pay rewards for years to come

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BlogLeadership

Know or Didn’t Know

by Ron Potter April 29, 2021

In an earlier blog, I was wondering about why we didn’t have the philosophers today like the ones who were around thousands of years ago.  Then I came to the conclusion that many of today’s philosophers were songwriters and singers.  I zeroed in on Billy Joel in particular as a philosopher of our day.

Modern Day Philosophers

Two songwriters/singers caught my attention the other day because they seemed to be thinking about and signing about an idea from entirely different directions.

One was Rod Stewart and the group, Faces. The song is “Ooh La La”:

I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was younger
I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was stronger

The other was Bob Seger in his song, “Against the Wind”:

Wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then

I don’t know if they are on opposite ends of the same scale or just asking different questions.  But if you think about these lyrics, it can create some deep thoughts.

Knew More?

Do you wish that you knew more in your youth? (When I was younger, I wished that I knew what I know now.)

On the one hand, I would say no, I don’t wish that.  I believe the sense of curiosity and adventure is formed and honed when you’re young.  If you were fortunate enough to have mentors that encouraged those traits, they likely served you well and created a lifelong habit of wanting to know and understand things as well as a desire to try things.  When I meet people who are lacking one or both of those traits, it seems to me that they are falling short of living their life to the fullest.

On the other hand, knowing more may have helped you understand people and circumstances better.  As I age, there are often times when my thoughts say, “Boy, I didn’t see that coming!”

But in general, I think that knowing more when you are younger probably feeds your ego more than your curiosity and that’s not a good thing.

Didn’t Know

Seger talks about being as naive and innocent now as when he was younger.

Again, on the one hand, it might be easier to be living the kind of life that you were when you were younger.  I grew up in what I considered almost an idyllic setting.  We had a small piece of property that had a stream running through it.  Every time I would leave the house my mother would say “don’t get wet.”  I, of course, “fell” into the stream every day.  Even during Michigan winters.  I also lived in a rural area and it was a three-mile bike ride to town.  My biggest worry during those days was a flat tire on my bike.

On the other hand, it would almost require seclusion from the world to avoid the bigger problems of an adult.  We do run into those people who have protected themselves so much from the world.  They assume their experience and life is the only one or certainly, the only right one that exists.  I think of those people as having and knowing a very small world.

Perspective

People with a “large world” perspective see things differently.   Even if their world is physically small, they look at the bigger picture and try to understand what others are thinking from a different perspective than their own.

My father ventured beyond his physical boundaries once when he served in WWII.  After the war that he had spent in North Africa and Italy, he came back to Michigan.  I only remember leaving the state once during the rest of his life, but he seemed to have a big world perspective.  During my college years in the Engineering School of the University of Michigan, I would learn something new about the engineering world and couldn’t wait to share it with my dad.  I assumed that I would finally know something beyond his high school education in the same small town that he raised me.  But it seems that whatever the topic, he would say something like “I’ve been reading a lot about that topic.  What do you think this aspect means?”  Of course, I didn’t know the answer because he knew more about the topic than I did.  He was a very “large world” thinker.  I have one cherished possession left from my father.  Here is a picture of his dictionary.

Living Around the World

All four of my grandchildren have lived in different parts of the world.  But just being physically worldly, doesn’t make you worldly in your thoughts or attitudes.  They all see the world as large, expansive, and varied.  It will serve them well.

Examine Your World View

How large is your world?  Think about it!  You’ll never know it all but expanding your world through curiosity, learning, and gaining understanding will keep you in a “growth mindset” which is essential for great leaders.

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