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Mentoring

What makes for a good mentor?

by Ron Potter July 31, 2017

What image comes to mind when you think of the term mentor?

You might picture two people sitting at a table in a restaurant, the older person, his or her head topped with waves of shimmering, gray hair, waxing eloquent while the younger listener is furiously scribbling notes on a legal pad. Although this scene may warm our hearts, it seems just a bit out of sync with the real world.

I would like to offer an alternative image of mentoring: Picture two people sitting across from each other in an office. Obviously, an important project is under discussion. The interaction is animated, intense, and often humorous. These people obviously know each other well. Speech is direct and honest. Mutual respect is readily apparent. Some coaching is occurring, but the protégé is not restrained in sharing some insights on the performance of the mentor as well. This relationship is built on trust.

With this picture in mind, we like to define mentoring as a long-term, mutually supportive and enhancing relationship rather than as a relationship in which a highly advanced human being tutors another who stands a step or two below him or her on the developmental ladder.

A successful mentoring experience does require a significant prerequisite: a quality person to mentor. A leader who hopes to succeed in mentoring must first hire great people. Too often, executives devote too little time to the hiring process. No wonder that down the road the mentoring of a poorly qualified employee resembles corrective discipline more than a shared growth experience.

Assuming the right persons are in the right jobs, a leader must then do everything possible to help those people feel appreciated, supported, empowered, and fully equipped to complete their tasks. In addition, a leader needs to help the other person understand that success is not just “making the numbers” (competency) but includes developing character as well.

A good mentoring experience also requires longevity. The leader and the protégé need to stay at it long enough for the relationship to bear mature fruit.

In the late nineties I was talking to the CEO with whom I had been working for about four years. As we were chatting comfortably at the end of a session, he said to me, “Ron, all of the work you do for us around team building, leadership development, and culture improvement is worth every penny you charge us. But your real value for me as a CEO is when we have these little chats, one on one, in these relaxing, comfortable, and trusting moments.”

At that moment I began to realize that the aspect of the business I found most enjoyable—talking openly and honestly with the leaders I worked with—was also the aspect they experienced as most valuable. Since that time a sizable percentage of my consulting business comes from personally coaching and mentoring business leaders.

During these moments of honest interaction, leaders are able to talk with me about personal doubts, concerns over the performance of another individual, and innovative ways to tackle new situations. We can do trial run-throughs of an upcoming presentation, a conference call, or a one-on-one meeting with a boss or colleague. Almost anything that is critical to their performance is open to discussion in this relaxed environment. Even personal situations and career decisions are fair game. The mentoring or coaching role is mainly about creating a safe environment to discuss any topic.

One of the hallmarks of a long-term mentoring relationship is the intentional communication that will encourage and assist others and advance the cause of the organization.

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Training Leaders

by Ron Potter September 29, 2016

One of my clients that I’ve worked with for many years asked me to get certified as an executive coach. Now I’ll leave the judgment of whether I’m a good or bad coach to others (more on that in a minute) but I’ve been functioning as an executive coach since before the concept became popular.

I had been working with one executive for a few years when we had just finished a session with his top 40 leaders from around the world. As he and I were relaxing in his office after the session and sharing some of our experiences over the last couple of days he said to me “You’ve helped me build my leadership team to a level of performance that I didn’t know existed. And, you’ve helped me become a better leader than I could have imagined. And, you’ve helped us build a culture that I believe will survive this coming global shake-out that we’re beginning to see.”

Now, for a guy who preaches that the first element of great leadership is humility, I have to admit that I was overflowing with pride at that moment. Remember, the name of my company is Team Leadership Culture and he had just put his experience at the top of each of those categories. What else could he have said that would have been more flattering? Then he said something that absolutely shook my confidence. “But, your real value is …..” In that flash of a moment a shock went through my system because I had no idea what he was about to say next. He had just put my entire consulting practice framework, Team Leadership Culture, at the top of the list. What else could he say?

“But your real value is when we sit and talk like this.” I never thought that this time spent with leaders when we just sat and talked, shared, mentored, coached, learned together was of great value. This was before the time when “Executive Coach” was a common word in our language but I learned that evening how valuable this was. A CEO Executive Assistant once asked me “Are you selling drugs?” I laughed because I hoped it was meant in a humorous way and said “no, why do you ask?” She said “Because our CEO never grants more than one hour to anyone but when you show up he shuts off his entire afternoon and I just hear you in there laughing and talking. Are you selling drugs?”

So why did I need my Executive Coaching Certificate? It had been a corporate decision. All Executive Coaches must be certified! I did comply and while I did experience some value, my greater learning is that certification programs train you toward the norm. Certification means you have been trained to meet certain standards. It assumes there is a right way to approach coaching with systems, techniques and practices. I find that coaching is completely unique with each individual and doing things a standard way can only lead to standard results at best. When I asked the client that was pressing me to get certified if they had seen any difference between certified and non-certified coaches the answer was “no.” There are good and bad certified coaches, good and bad non-certified coaches.

My conclusion to all of this rambling is that leadership is developed not trained. Training by definition says to “teach a particular skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time.” A second definition is to point or aim toward something. Leadership is dealing with the unknown. Management is dealing with the known. You can train managers when you know what to aim for but you must develop leaders.

Development by definition says to “grow or cause to grow and become more mature, advanced, or elaborate.” Leaders need to be developed. Mentor them, coach them, disciple them but don’t train them. Leaders developing leaders takes time, dedication and the building of trust. Are you a trainer or developer? Are you being trained or developed? Be/seek out that coach. Be/seek out that mentor. Grow!

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Blog Leadership

How to Mentor

by Ron Potter July 6, 2015

Image Source: Allstar/Cinetext/WARNER BROS Allstar/Cinetext/WARNER BROS/Allstar/Cinetext/WARNER BRO

The opportunity to mentor exists in every setting where people need to draw on one another’s talents to accomplish a goal.

Frank Darabont, director of The Green Mile, reflected on Tom Hanks’s selfless commitment to helping rising actor Michael Duncan achieve his best:

Fifteen, twenty years from now, what will I remember [about filming The Green Mile]? There was one thing—and I’ll never forget this: When [Tom] Hanks was playing a scene with Michael Duncan…

As we’re shooting, [the camera] is on Michael first, and I’m realizing that I’m getting distracted by Hanks. Hanks is delivering an Academy Award–winning performance, off-camera, for Michael Duncan—to give him every possible thing he needs or can use to deliver the best possible performance.

He wanted Michael to do so well. He wanted him to look so good. I’ll never forget that.

In 1999, Michael Clarke Duncan was nominated for an Academy Award in the Best Actor in a Supporting Role category. Tom Hanks, however, was not nominated.

Starting the Process

Here, then, are some thoughts on how to begin mentoring others:

First, the best mentoring plans focus primarily on character development and then on skills. As Jim Collins reports, “The good-to-great companies placed greater weight on character attributes than on specific educational background, practical skills, specialized knowledge, or work experience.”

Second, we see many mentoring attempts fail because the participants do not sit down together to discuss and set boundaries and expectations. The process flows much better if the participants take time to understand each other’s goals, needs, and approaches than if they take a laid-back, let’s-get-together approach.

Any mentoring relationship should start with a firm foundation of mutual understanding about goals and expectations. A mentoring plan should be constructed by both individuals, even if it calls for spontaneity in the approach. Nothing is more powerful than motive and heart. Both of the people involved need to fully understand what is driving each of them to want this deeper experience of growth and commitment.

Need a Mentor Yourself?

Research has shown that leaders at all levels need mentoring. Even though you may be mentoring others successfully, you need a mentor too.

There are two issues that we want you to be especially cognizant of:

Vulnerability. You must open yourself up to your mentor by being “woundable,” teachable, and receptive to criticism. The essence of vulnerability is a lack of pride. You cannot be proud and vulnerable at the same time. It takes a focus on humility to be vulnerable.
Accountability. Commit yourself wholeheartedly to your mentor (or protégé) and put some teeth in the relationship by establishing goals and expected behavior. Accountability should include:
Being willing to explain one’s actions.
Being open, unguarded, and nondefensive about one’s motives.
Answering for one’s life.
Supplying the reasons why.

Like vulnerability, accountability cannot exist alongside pride. Pride must take a backseat to a person’s need to know how she or he is doing and to be held accountable by someone who is trusted. People who are accountable are humble enough to allow people to come close and support them, and, when they drift off course, they welcome the act of restoration without the pride that says, “I don’t need anyone.”

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Blog Trust Me

4 Ways to Develop Dynamic Change in Others

by Ron Potter June 29, 2015

Image source: Umberto Salvagnin, Creative Commons

Is there a surefire, can’t-fail approach to mentoring effectively in an organizational setting? Probably not. But that should not come as a surprise because, after all, we are talking about relationships between people. However, here are some ideas, principles, and goals that will help illumine your path to a satisfying and successful mentoring experience.

1. Be an encourager

Encouragement is one of the mentor’s most powerful tools for leading another person to higher levels of personal growth. The Greek word for encouragement means “coming alongside.” This means helping another person by being right there, offering whatever assistance is required.
All of us need encouragement—a word from somebody who believes in us, stands by us, and reassures us. Encouragement renews our courage, refreshes our spirits, and rekindles our hope. Encouragement goes beyond appreciation to affirmation; we appreciate what a person does, but we affirm who a person is. Affirmation does not insist on a particular level of performance, and it is not earned.

2. Be patient

Mentoring requires a good amount of patience from both parties. The endurance factor is quite important when the person with whom a mentor is working reacts with what might be considered a silly response (in words or actions). It takes patience to watch someone grow and develop into a better person. It takes patience to see missteps and not immediately go in and either change the behavior or solve the problem.

Thomas was the CFO of a large organization, and he took a new hire under his wing. Early on, the new hire, a COO of a smaller division of the same organization, made several mistakes. The CFO remained patient and diligent. They learned together and solved many of the issues. One of the methods used by the CFO was laughter. He never made the new hire feel inferior or guilty. He simply reflected on the COO’s actions, taking them for what they were and using them to create an open dialogue for training and learning.

3. Be trustworthy

As a mentor you must exhibit integrity. The person you are mentoring will be open and vulnerable only after watching you live a consistently ethical life. Trustworthiness means being reliable, faithful, and unfailing. Trustworthy leaders are honest and transparent, committed, dedicated, and keep promises and confidences. They also have the moral courage to do the right thing and to stand up for what they believe even when it is difficult to do so.

4. Be an opportunist

A good mentor is always searching for mentoring opportunities. The best mentoring happens in “teachable moments.” These impromptu opportunities to share insights and experiences require no formal agenda or time schedule, just a willingness on the leader’s part to be available and recognize moments when the other person needs help. This should flow naturally and not be contrived or forced. The protégé may not even realize that a “mentoring moment” has occurred.

Mentoring is a life-changing part of development. The goal is to coach and guide people through life transitions and structures, focusing on the “being” rather than the “doing.”

You need genuine concern, patience, and a great sense of humor, when mentoring an employee. But it’s worth the effort. People committed to growing together through thick and thin accomplish great things.

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Blog Trust Me

Mentoring

by Ron Potter June 22, 2015

In a previous post, I began discussing mentoring relationships. I would like to continue that discussion today, focusing on what it takes to be a good mentoring relationship.

Image source: ashraful kadir,
Creative Commons

Got What it Takes?

A successful mentoring experience does require a significant prerequisite: a quality person to mentor. A leader who hopes to succeed in mentoring must first hire great people. Too often, executives devote too little time to the hiring process. No wonder that down the road the mentoring of a poorly qualified employee resembles corrective discipline more than a shared growth experience.

It Takes Time

A good mentoring experience also requires longevity. The leader and the protégé need to stay at it long enough for the relationship to bear mature fruit.

In the late nineties I was talking to the CEO with whom I had been working for about four years. As we were chatting comfortably at the end of a session, he said to me, “Ron, all of the work you do for us around team building, leadership development, and culture improvement is worth every penny. But your real value for me as a CEO is when we have these little chats, one on one, in these relaxing, comfortable, and trusting moments.”

During these moments of honest interaction, leaders are able to talk with me about personal doubts, concerns over the performance of another individual, and innovative ways to tackle new situations. We can do trial run-throughs of an upcoming presentation, a conference call, or a one-on-one meeting with a boss or colleague. Almost anything that is critical to their performance is open to discussion in this relaxed environment. Even personal situations and career decisions are fair game. The mentoring or coaching role is mainly about creating a safe environment to discuss any topic.

It Takes Vulnerability

One of the hallmarks of a long-term mentoring relationship is the intentional vulnerability that develops between two people. This means they can easily strip away the outside masks and get down to the issues (both personal and business) that need attention. This kind of openness and willingness to share the truth is a quality found in effective leaders. They refuse to let pride get in the way of open communication that will encourage and assist others and advance the cause of the organization.

If these characteristics of a solid mentoring relationship remind you of a good friendship, you are right. Research data and our experience indicate that, more often than not, mentoring relationships grow over time into lasting friendships.

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Blog Trust Me

Thick-and-Thin Togetherness

by Ron Potter June 15, 2015

Image source: Insomnia Cured Here, Creative Commons

On cable television, almost twenty-four hours a day it seems, you can catch sight of a sheriff and his deputy demonstrating core principles of how to develop another person. Yes, Sheriff Andy and his deputy Barney on The Andy Griffith Show have this mentoring thing going on.

In many episodes Andy tried to patiently teach Barney about work, love, and life. Then, invariably, Barney struck out to tackle the problem at the core of Andy’s teaching, and messed up royally. In spite of Barney’s bungling, however, Andy always stood by his friend and coworker, exhibiting a bemused yet persistent patience. Andy was always there for Barney. (But we don’t think Barney ever reached the place where he was ready to receive more than one bullet for his gun!)

Although developing your own strengths is important, an equally important task in leadership is maximizing the strengths and potential of the members of your team. If you don’t do this well, you may experience a measure of success, but you will also end up very tired and frustrated that so little is getting done. There’s just too much to do these days. We all need help.

The old African proverb says:

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.

Everything is going fast today and you must be nimble. The trick is to go far in a rapidly changing environment. That requires building great teams that go together.

What does Mentoring Look Like?

What image comes to mind when you think of the term mentor? You might picture two people sitting at a table in a restaurant, the older person, his or her head topped with waves of shimmering, gray hair, waxing eloquent while the younger listener is furiously scribbling notes on a legal pad. Although this scene may warm our hearts, it seems just a bit out of sync with the real world.

We would like to offer an alternative image of mentoring: Picture two people sitting across from each other in an office. Obviously, an important project is under discussion. The interaction is animated, intense, and often humorous. These people obviously know each other well. Speech is direct and honest. Mutual respect is readily apparent. Some coaching is occurring, but the protégé is not restrained in sharing some insights on the performance of the mentor as well. This relationship is built on trust.

With this picture in mind, we like to define mentoring as a long-term, mutually supportive and enhancing relationship rather than as a relationship in which a highly advanced human being tutors another who stands a step or two below him or her on the developmental ladder.

What is Mentoring?

Another way to envision the mentoring process is to compare it to parenting. In corporate settings we frequently witness nonexistent or very poor “parenting” skills. Executives and managers often fail to recognize that even the most highly qualified person may have significant blind spots or personal or professional characteristics that are awry or underdeveloped.

Rather than understanding the need to mentor appropriately and taking the time to discipline, train, coach, or partner with their employees, weak leaders simply hire people and turn them loose to do their jobs.

The basic definition of mentoring implies that the leader and the protégé want to build something that will last a long time, that will go far. It suggests sticking together and being patient as the learner and the mentor navigate the learning process.

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Blog Trust Me

Finding Sparky

by Ron Potter February 23, 2015

Image Source: Orange County Archives, Creative Commons

Many times a humble leader discovers strengths in his or her coworkers that even they have failed to detect. Sometimes you just don’t know what precious gems are buried beneath the surface of another human being. We call this process “finding Sparky.”

Say again? Let us explain with this story.

When he was a young boy, his friends gave him the nickname “Sparky” after a horse in the Barney Google comic strip. Though he was quite intelligent, Sparky’s shyness and timidity made school an agonizing experience. High school was especially challenging. He was a small, 136-pound pimply nobody. No one seemed to care about him. He remembered being astonished whenever anyone said hello. He had some skill in golf but lost an important match. He was a fair artist, but even the staff of his high-school yearbook would not publish his drawings. No one, including Sparky, seemed to think he had much to offer. He later said about this period in his life, “I never regarded myself as being much and I never regarded myself as being good-looking and I never had a date in high school, because I thought, who’d want to date me?”

After high school he completed a correspondence course in art. He wrote a letter to Walt Disney Studios, hoping to be a cartoonist there. The studios requested drawings, and he worked many hours on them before mailing them to Disney. His reply from the studios: “rejected.”

How did Sparky respond? He began drawing an autobiographical series of cartoons about a chronic underachiever, a boy whose kite would never fly. It wasn’t that long before the whole world became acquainted with this character named Charlie Brown—as well as friends of his named Lucy, Linus, Pig Pen, and Snoopy. Sparky—Charles Schulz—became the most famous and wealthy cartoonist ever. At the height of his popularity, his cartoon strip Peanuts appeared in 2,600 papers in twenty-one languages in seventy-five countries. In 1978 he was named International Cartoonist of the Year. The whole Peanuts cartoon gang once appeared on a cover of Time magazine. This “loser” in high school really had some potential after all.

A humble leader is always looking for Sparkies.

Each person with whom a leader works has hidden gifts and talents, and someone may even have the enormous potential of a Sparky. We need to help them uncover, develop, and use those talents. Humble leaders relish the idea of helping people find their unique niche. They enjoy moving people along to bigger and better things. They celebrate the victories and provide encouragement when their people are discouraged or fearful of moving ahead.

Take Gary, for example. He worked in the mailroom for one of my clients. Unknown to his employer, Gary was a computer genius. When the president of the company needed help, I suggested Gary, and he delivered. Today, Gary is a highly respected computer executive. He got his start from an executive who was open and humble.

Many leaders focus on people’s weaknesses. They are always trying to “fix” someone. They fail to recognize potential and help people develop a path for personal success and reward.

Share with us some “sparky” stories about that person who just blossomed when you or someone helped them see their strength. Maybe someone saw you as a “sparky.” Please share.

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