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Humility

How Big is the Pie: Rewards of You-First Leadership

by Ron Potter October 8, 2018

The past couple weeks, we have discussed you-first leadership and the characteristics that make up that kind of leader.
Becoming a “you-first” leader may sound a bit like career suicide. Isn’t this just another way to get trampled while climbing the corporate ladder?

I would say that depends on your view of the pie.

Are you the kind of person who believes in the “fixed pie” view of the world? “There is only so much pie to go around, so if I don’t get mine first, there won’t be any left after everyone takes theirs.”

Or do you believe in an expanding pie? “If we all do a great job, there will be more than enough to go around for all of us.” “You first.”

The Sweet Rewards of You-First Leadership

There are actually great personal and professional rewards awaiting the person intent on taking care of the needs of others first. In the long run compassion, like humility, will be an asset that will propel you into being an admired leader, one whom others will follow. It will also provide you with a great deal of personal satisfaction and delight.

Having a “you-first” attitude will result in a new and better personal leadership paradigm. Instead of viewing employees and others as those in need of control and reshaping, you will move toward becoming a coach who provides people with honest feedback. You will create a safe environment in which people are free to share honestly about your programs, ideas, vision, and initiatives.

Another way to look at yourself and develop good habits is to examine whether you act as an old-style boss, or whether your actions (not intentions, but real actions) are directed toward empowering others.

Zig Ziglar has built a whole career based on the concept that to get everything you want you need to help other people get what they want. “You first.”

A you-first leadership style goes beyond humility. Humility says, “I’m no better than you; we are equally important.” A “you-first” attitude puts the other person out front.

Let’s Discuss

How much are your decisions driven by your own selfishness?
What are you trying to protect by not seeking a “you-first” style when you work with others?
Have you ever experienced personal satisfaction by putting another person first, placing their needs ahead of your own? Explain.

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Intransigent

by Ron Potter August 30, 2018

The opposite of humility is not ego.

The opposite of humility is intransigence.

Ego is always driven by fear. It’s our need to:

Win
Achieve
Be seen as the best

When we have our fear of falling short, our ego tends to get in the way.

But the opposite of humility is intransigent. I’m probably not going to use that word very much, because I can barely pronounce it, but it’s an interesting word. It means

An unwillingness, or refusing, to change one’s views or to agree.

It’s not necessarily ego where you’re trying to defend a point of view or defend your fear of failure, or your lack of recognition, it’s a conscious unwillingness and refusing to change your mind.

It’s an unwillingness.
It’s a determined refusal to change your view.

In our business world, we see this happen often, but it’s never quite as blatant as it looks. Occasionally, I’ll hear someone on a leadership team saying, “I don’t care what you say. I’m not going to agree with that approach.”

That makes my job and the job of the leader much more difficult when you have someone express that level of stubbornness. In an earlier blog, we talked about Winston Churchill’s humility. He was an incredibly stubborn man, but he would be open to listening to other people and trying to understand their point of view.

The intransigent person is not open. They are not open to understanding. That is not their goal. If you have an intransigent person on your team, I would highly recommend that you find them someplace else to work, someplace else in the organization, maybe in another organization.

Always be very careful not to act too quickly. You should make every effort to grow and develop and help that person change along the way, but if they are truly intransigent, you are not going to reach agreement. You are not going to reach unity. You are not going to move your organization forward without tremendous friction.

The cost of tolerating intransigent at the cost of unity is too high.

As a side note, I’ve talked about the word “tolerant” in previous blogs. I’m not in favor of being tolerant. To start with, the definition means the measure of poison you can ingest before you experience negative effects. Secondly, when people say you should be tolerant, they’re really saying that if you don’t agree with them, they won’t tolerate you. In the usage above, I have used the word as it’s intended. The cost of tolerating intransigent, the poisonous effects of allowing intransigent behavior to exist is too costly.

Be humble, don’t be intransigent. That’s the key.

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Blog Trust Me

Getting Effective Feedback

by Ron Potter July 2, 2018

Can your team speak freely?

Leadership today is all about two words: It’s all about truth and trust.

When they trust you, you’ll get truth. And if you get truth, you get speed. If you get speed, you’re going to act. That’s how it works.

You and others are willing to work long and hard to accomplish goals. However, as we’ve seen from the stories in recent posts, our efforts can become very scattered and focused on the “urgent.” We need to build accurate, open, reliable feedback systems.

A team leader needs to create a learning environment in which every team member is appreciated, listened to, and respected. In this kind of environment, the opinions of team members are fully explored and understood and are incorporated into the decision-making process. The team actively learns from all members who express their positions and opinions, and as a result, the team is stronger and more efficient.

In the end it will be the ability to endure through the challenges, criticisms, and doubts that distinguishes the great leaders. But if you have staked your reputation on a wrong or unachievable goal, enduring through the challenges will only take your team or organization down the wrong path. What keeps you from that wrong path is good solid feedback. But good solid feedback is hard to come by, especially the higher you climb in an organization.

The power of effective feedback

People don’t like to give the boss bad news or news that doesn’t agree with the boss’s stated position. But without it comes only failure.

Effective Feedback. It’s not just something you ask for. It’s a cherished gift. It’s a wonderful reward for building a trusting organization or team.

An effective feedback apparatus starts with humility. Humble leaders create an atmosphere where feedback from others is desired and honestly requested. Leaders who are focused on growing their people build that growth on feedback. When people know that a leader is committed and wants honest feedback to help reach stated goals, they are more likely to provide the open and honest feedback required. Compassion, integrity, peacemaking—upcoming chapters that will all lead to an atmosphere and culture that is open to and thrives on honest and timely feedback.

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5 Steps to Standing for Something Greater Blog Leadership

5 Steps to Standing for Something Greater – Part I: Clean Up Your Act

by Ron Potter February 5, 2018

People do not like to be put in boxes, and just as important, people do not like to be in the dark, outside the door where company values and vision are shaped. People are less energized and tend to drift when they are unsure of how they should be operating within an organization. People need to see their leaders’ commitment to values, and they want a part in helping to shape their organization’s core values and vision.

So how do you show this? There are five steps to helping your company and your team stand for something greater.

Clean up your act

It is difficult to convince others to stand for something greater if your own life and values are mediocre. Make no mistake: Regardless of what you hear from assorted voices, your personal moral standards are inseparably linked to long-term leadership success.

I once worked with a vice president of a large company who appeared very successful but did not adhere to high personal standards. He was very good at what he did and had a magnificent reputation. He had also successfully navigated through some tough spots for the company.

This V.P. liked to call himself “a player.” Essentially, being a player meant that he messed around outside of marriage. He did not see this as wrong (pride talking) and told us it would not affect his people or the quality of the job they were doing (pride again). In his arrogance he thought he could keep his two worlds—work and extramarital cheating—separate.

Twenty-four months later, the vice president’s inability to control his pride and lust cost him everything, including his job. His clever scheme fell apart. His self-focus swallowed him up.

It’s fun to be a leader, flattering to have influence, and invigorating to have a room full of people cheering your every word. It is a powerful boost to set a direction for the troops and then draw them out to march toward the goal. However, nothing will spoil this pretty picture more quickly than a willful, proud attitude.

Author and speaker Joyce Meyer writes,

How can you tell you have a problem with pride? Examine yourself. If you have an opinion about everything, you have a problem with pride. If you are judgmental, you have a problem with pride. If you can’t stand to be corrected, you have a problem with pride. If you rebel against authority, if you want to take all the credit and glory to yourself, if you say “I” too often, then you have a problem with pride.

Pride can cause an uncontrolled will, which is fatal in a leader’s life.

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Blog Culture

Addicted to Being Right

by Ron Potter December 14, 2017

We’ve talked about Business Addictions before. In my post “Are you an addict?” from earlier this year, we talked about addiction to accountability, dedication, and productivity. Most of these addictions are “acceptable” in the workplace. People don’t usually call you out for being too dedicated or productive. But they may be aware (and even annoyed) that you can’t get through a meeting without checking your phone. Or you may be falling short of expectations on projects because you made commitments to too many projects.

But there is another business addiction I observe that immediately turns negative and is obvious in its disruption of productivity and a committed path forward. The addiction to being right!

The problem? It sends the signal that all others are wrong. “I’m right, you’re wrong.” “My perception is correct, yours is not.” Once you turn decisions into right vs wrong choices, there will never be a committed team effort to accomplish the goal. Right vs Wrong creates winners and losers. If I’m on the losing side of that equation, I may comply, but I will never commit. If the decision is a Right vs Wrong decision than you’re going to expect me to commit to a direction that I believe is wrong. Human nature keeps that from happening. It’s not realistic.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have strong ideas and points of view. We don’t’ bring much value to the team if we simply present a cookie-cutter response to the situation. However, we must also realize that others have equally strong and “right” views. We must be dedicated to finding a joint path, shared stories, new movies. Not just proving that we’re right.

If we can frame the decisions that we face in a Right vs Right fashion, we have a better chance of moving forward as a team. Right vs Right turns our decision making away from winning and losing and toward a dilemma. When we face a dilemma, we’re saying there are two equally right answers, we just can’t do both. We must work out as a team which direction we’re going to head and fully commit to that decision.

Dilemmas are difficult. The concept of being on the “horns of a dilemma” means that you’re going to get gored either way. You’re just choosing which horn will gore you. Dilemmas are difficult.

But, facing our decisions as dilemmas between two or more “right” answers, gives us the chance to come together as a team and accomplish a goal together.

Addiction to being right prevents us from doing things together. It only creates winners and losers.

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Blog Trust Me

Remodeling Your Attitude

by Ron Potter July 17, 2017

Developing your own untapped and unrefined potential is a bit like remodeling an old house: First, you have to tear out some things—like pride or extreme self-sufficiency or bullheadedness or trying to over-control people or ___________ (fill in the blank with some attitude or behavior of yours that makes you say “ouch!”).

Letting go will often appear counterintuitive, but a bad attitude can make or break a team. To continue with the remodeling analogy, you have to tear out the old pipes that no longer work right and the sloping floors that haven’t been level in years in order to make room for straight floors and clean, up-to-code plumbing. Sometimes we need to tear out a bad attitude in order to grow the ability to respond in better ways.

We agree that many leaders would rather get and keep a grip than lose their grip. But if you want to build trust with others, you need to have the ability to let go. The discussion here is not about delegation. It concerns letting go of personal qualities that build walls not only between you and your team but also within yourself.

Here are a few attitudes you need to let go of in order to build a stronger team:

Pride

A proud leader’s mind is closed to new truths; he or she is unteachable. Pride causes inflexibility: “We will only pursue my ideas, thank you very much.” Pride resists change. Pride forces us to care more about status and prestige. Pride gets in the way of asking others for help.

Pride is a wall; humility is a gate.

Uncontrolled Will

Leaders with uncontrolled wills avoid committing to common values or ideals beyond their own. Rather than a stubborn will, we need a focused will that centers on development, goals, and productivity.

Keeping our egos in check and our wills under control enables us to function much better as teammates and leaders.

Dishonesty

Dishonesty happens when a leader denies reality or seeks gain through deviousness. It is about game playing, manipulation, and pretense.

Integrity overcomes dishonesty. Leaders of integrity strive to avoid the deceitfulness of appearances. They are genuine, sincere, authentic, and trustworthy—qualities that build the confidence of coworkers and employees in their leaders.

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Blog Leadership

The Sweet Rewards of Humility

by Ron Potter July 3, 2017

Humility is costly, but there are incredible and often surprising rewards for leaders who recognize their own personal strengths and limitations while seeing and encouraging the greatness in others. Sometimes the ramifications of this timeless insight bring a smile.

Imagine a traditional, buttoned-down, classy department store with the expected crew of nicely dressed, decorous department managers and floor workers. In the midst of this stable setting appears a freewheeling bohemian hippie throwback with an attitude!

While consulting with a large department store chain, we encountered such a situation with a particular store employee. The management team just did not respect this guy because he did not fit the mold of the “perfect” floor salesperson. He dressed way too casually (did he even own a tie?). He wore his hair very long. His humor was caustic. He talked too loudly and joked too much. The only thing standing between him and a pink slip was the small matter of performance. He was positively brilliant at what he did!

His specialty was the children’s clothing department where the kids (and moms) loved him. To them, he was a funny, warm, and highly entertaining friend, a trusted advisor in selecting the best things to wear. Because the customers understood this man’s intentions—he loved meeting kids on their level and serving them—his countercultural appearance and behavior didn’t matter much. As long as his creative approach and personality accomplished the mission, he deserved to be a hero of management, not a personnel headache.

This man definitely was a diamond in the rough.

Sure, this example may be a bit extreme, but it illustrates the principle beautifully: A humble leader, who is not too full of self, has the capacity and good sense to allow others to sparkle and make a difference.

Many times a humble leader discovers strengths in his or her coworkers that even they have failed to detect.They relish the idea of helping people find their unique niche. They enjoy moving people along to bigger and better things. They celebrate the victories and provide encouragement when their people are discouraged or fearful of moving ahead.

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Blog Trust Me

Seeking Greatness in Others

by Ron Potter May 15, 2017

A humble leader—one not caught up constantly in personal needs—is able to explore, develop, and encourage the strengths in others. A humble leader wants to create a company of giants, to help people become “bigger” than they ever dreamed possible.

It can be positively exhilarating to learn what qualities the creator has “hard-wired” into others. Many times a humble leader discovers strengths in his or her coworkers that even they have failed to detect. Sometimes you just don’t know what precious gems are buried beneath the surface of another human being.

Finding Diamonds in the Rough

Many leaders focus on people’s weaknesses. They are always trying to “fix” someone. They fail to recognize potential and help people develop a path for personal success and reward.

Each person with whom a leader works has hidden gifts and talents. We need to help them uncover, develop, and use those talents. Humble leaders relish the idea of helping people find their unique niche. They enjoy moving people along to bigger and better things. They celebrate the victories and provide encouragement when their people are discouraged or fearful of moving ahead.

Simple, but powerful ways to do this include:

Assume the best of others

Learn to listen

Being quick to listen implies that a leader is paying attention, that he or she is not distracted but is actively hearing what the other person is saying. A humble leader listens with the intent of understanding rather than responding.

Admit your mistakes

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Blog Trust Me

Who is Controlling This Thing?

by Ron Potter March 20, 2017

Here’s a challenge: On a scale of 1 to 5, rate your need for control in various situations.

Overcontrol diminishes trust. Control-freak leaders have a hard time building truly great teams. Their lack of trust in subordinates hamstrings creativity and superior performance. Conversely, a humble leader, who is not too full of self, has the capacity and good sense to allow others to sparkle and make a difference.

A humble leader steps aside so that others can run by and seize the prize of their own greatness. But just how is this done? Here’s an overview:

Assume the best of others

Leaders who expect the best of others exert a powerful influence. Many times leaders get caught in the trap of judging others. They measure, categorize, and classify people and the jobs they perform. Ken Blanchard likes to talk about “catching people doing things right.” This idea puts the emphasis on solid behavior and good intentions. It forces managers to assume and reward the best. It helps leaders not make rigid rules that hold down employees who want to soar.

Learn to listen

Being quick to listen implies the leader is not distracted but is actively hearing what the other person is saying. A humble leader listens with the intent of understanding rather than responding. Listening with the intent to understand triggers curious questions that help both the listener and speaker grow in their thinking and improve their conclusions.

Reward honest communication

How do you react when someone tells you bad news? Does the messenger become a target for your arrows? We know a man who confronted his boss over a matter that had the potential to really upset the company’s applecart. Instead of shooting the messenger, the supervisor commended the truth-bearer for his straightforward approach and creativity. He was able to look past the message to the employee’s intentions. The boss agreed with his employee in significant ways and changed his perspective. He rewarded open communication, and the company was better off because of it.

Admit your mistakes

Humble, open leaders show vulnerability. And nothing demonstrates vulnerability quite like admitting mistakes. “I was wrong” is difficult to say, but it is one of the most freeing and powerful statements a leader can make. Admitting your mistakes allows others on the team to relax and admit their mistakes. It allows the team to breathe and grow. Admission of wrong, seeking and granting forgiveness, and moving on are powerful tools of a humble leader.

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Blog Trust Me

Seeking Humility

by Ron Potter March 6, 2017

What in your life do you need to let go of so you can become more humble?

Being humble and teachable means learning to trust others and their opinions and instincts. It means listening with the intent of learning instead of simply responding. It means seeking personal development from every situation, experience (both good and bad), and transaction.

Humility is the first pillar of a leader whom others will trust.

I know it may not make much sense, but humility is a prominent characteristic of truly great leaders. A humble person sticks to the basics and is not prone to exaggeration. How much better off would we be today if the leaders of some of our fallen corporate behemoths had kept their heads out of the ozone and their feet on the ground?

Perhaps the most significant quality of humble leaders is their steady, clear-eyed perception of truth. A proud leader is prone to spreading and believing exaggerations—from little white lies to whopping falsehoods. Which high-powered modern leaders, intent on vanquishing foes and surmounting tall challenges, ever want to be known as humble? Not many—until, of course, they find out, as we intend to demonstrate, that humility is a critical first step on the path that leads to leadership success.

Humble leaders take a different approach. They are not so self-absorbed as to think that they don’t need to listen and be open. Their spirits are not critical because they are always open and scanning their employees, customers, and systems for new and better ideas.

Humble leaders know that they cannot control people or circumstances. The irony is that the more they loosen their grip, the more they gain. The more flexibility—rather than control—that they can build into themselves, the more they succeed.

A humble leader welcomes change. Change often equals growth. But not change for the sake of change. A humble leader needs to discern the right change, a skill that is developed by being open and teachable.

So I pose my question once again: What in your life do you need to let go of so you can become more humble?

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Blog Culture Three Steps to Become the Best Learner

Three Steps to Become the Best Learner – Part I

by Ron Potter December 1, 2016

Knowing something is different than knowing the name of something.

Shane Parrish of Farnam Street Blog spoke of this concept from Richard Feyman, the Nobel winning Physicist.

Faynman said that his technique would ensure that he understood something better than everyone else. It helped him learn everything deeper and faster.

Shane says it’s incredibly simple to implement. The catch: It’s ridiculously humbling.

Well, if you’ve read many of my blogs you’ll know that ridiculously humbling is a good place to be. Let’s take a look at the Technique.

Step 1: Teach it to a child

Faynman says “Write out what you know about the subject as if you were teaching it to a child. Not your smart adult friend but rather an 8-year-old who has just enough vocabulary and attention span to understand basic concepts and relationships.”

My daughters may not even remember these moments of learning or certainly may not remember them the same way but that’s OK because we know that everyone’s memory is unique. So, here’s my memory.

When my daughters each hit about fifth grade they came to me with a school topic where they were struggling. By the time my daughters were this age I had finished my engineering degree from Michigan and had already been in the work place about 15 years. I knew a lot of stuff (or thought I did). So, I would begin to explain the subject from my point of view and experience level. After a few minutes of me pontificating I could see their eyes glaze over and they soon would say “You’re no better than everyone else. I still don’t get it.” After being humbled I asked to see their text book and would quickly scan ahead a chapter or two. I than would think about what they needed to learn to be ready for the challenge in the next chapter. When I focused on where they were and what they needed to learn at that moment, I discovered that their learning quickly accelerated as they moved from chapter to chapter.

I was recently consulting with one of our best known high tech firms. The team I was working with was trying to sell their technology into one of the oldest, most successful heavy industrial manufacturing firms. Upon returning from a meeting that didn’t go well, the team leader said to me “They are so un-savvy”! I told him my “Teaching a fifth grader story.” As he listened quietly his eyes began to grow wider and he finally proclaimed, “We haven’t been trying to teach them the next chapter, we’ve been trying to teach them from a book that’s being written as we go!” He quickly pulled his team back together and focused on what “chapter” their client was on and how could they quickly teach them what they needed to know for the next chapter. They began to have great accelerated success with that client and built a great bond of trust.

We’ve all become experts in our field. (I remember seeing a porta potty with the proclamation on the side “Outstanding in the Field”) Don’t use the language and concepts you’ve come to know. Figure out how to teach them to a fifth grader. If you can do that, your own learning will go deeper and deeper as well.

We’ll save the other two topics of Review and Organize and Simplify for future posts.

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Blog Leadership

The two pillars of great leadership

by Ron Potter November 28, 2016

The temptation in leadership will always be to head toward the dominant preferences inside us and on every side in our environment.
Over the last several years, investors suddenly began looking for CEOs who could shake things up and put an end to what was perceived as a business-as-usual approach. A new breed of corporate leader emerged: the charismatic CEO. A fervent and often irrational faith in the power of dynamic leaders became part of our culture.
Rakesh Khurana writes,

Faith is an invaluable, even indispensable gift in human affairs.… In the sphere of business, the faith of entrepreneurs, leaders, and ordinary employees in a company, a product, or an idea can unleash tremendous amounts of innovation and productivity. Yet today’s extraordinary trust in the power of the charismatic CEO resembles less a mature faith than it does a belief in magic. If, however, we are willing to begin rethinking our ideas about leadership, the age of faith can be followed by an era of faith and reason.

The adventure of looking for the charismatic leader sometimes asked us to turn our backs on attributes such as honesty, integrity, sensitivity, commitment, achievement, nurturing, trustworthiness, peacemaking, and courage.
But as Jim Collins explained so convincingly in his best-selling book Good to Great, it is the non-charismatic leader who seems to endure and shine in the long run. Collins writes:

Compared to high-profile leaders with big personalities who make headlines and become celebrities, the good-to-great leaders [leaders who have taken companies to unprecedented long-term growth] seem to have come from Mars. Self-effacing, quiet, reserved, even shy—these leaders are a paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will. They are more like Lincoln and Socrates than Patton or Caesar.

There are two pillars that support the attributes of a great leader: humility and endurance. Focusing on these two pillars is like so many things (golf included) that are both simple and complex. However, our experience tells us that great leaders allow these two attributes, whether natural or not, to strongly influence their leadership style. They learn how to overcome or “position” their natural tendencies. They let the two pillars “pull them through” their swing of everyday leadership and team building.
Great leaders seek to be humble people who lift up others and keep the spotlight on their companies, not themselves. They have a burning ambition to see tasks completed, and they balance that desire with a deep concern for the growth and development of people. They want to nurture relationships, help others flourish, and shove the fuss away from themselves.

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