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Tag:

Feeling

BlogMyers Briggs Type IndicatorMyers-Briggs

Myers Briggs Type Indicator: Deciding

by Ron Potter April 1, 2021

There are a couple of problematic issues with this preference pair.  One of the issues is the title of this preference.  For years it was titled “Judging” but the wise people at Consulting Psychologists Press (CPP.Inc) who own the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) changed it to “Deciding” a few years ago.  I think this is a better description.

The other problematic issue with this particular scale is that one end is defined as “Thinking” while the other end is described as “Feeling” (T vs. F).  Business teams in particular revolt at the use of feelings.  They’ll say things like they don’t let their emotions or feelings get in the way of making logical decisions.  But this is your Deciding Function!  You will either make balanced or unbalanced decisions.  Make balanced decisions, both thinking and feeling.  Those will be better decisions.

Thinking – Positive and Negative

A thinking preference can be very positive when it comes to decision making.  The thinking preference tends to be very logical, objective, and can be firm but fair.  In addition, they will often hold justice in high esteem, can be very principle-based, and will easily critique ideas and decisions.  In the end, it’s very difficult to argue with the logic-based decision that comes naturally to the thinking preference.  And that can sometimes become the problem.

Because the thinking preference comes across as confident and even critical, there is a natural barrier for others to challenge.  I had a boss once that was probably the most logical, thinking based person I’ve ever known.  Because I had gained his trust, he often would take me to visit various project sites to get a feel for how the business was working.  Unfortunately, it never occurred to him that the way he set up the meeting rooms seemed much like a judge (with full authority) questioning those running the business.  He would sit at the center seat at a small table.  To his left would be the site’s general manager and to his right would be me.  He then would ask each of the site managers to enter the room, sit in a chair (feeling fully exposed) in front of this tribunal looking over the desk at them.

I know that my boss was simply trying to get as deep into the details (He also had a strong presence for sensing that we talked about in the last blog) and find out the truth of what was going on.  As soon as he detected any weakness in a person’s thinking or attention to facts, he would relentlessly pursue further details with more critical questioning.  Often the person seated in front of us (the tribunal) would eventually crumble and sometimes leave crying.

Later, as we were driving away from the site, I would say to my boss that he had really crushed Larry (or whomever).  My boss would come back with genuine surprise and say something like “I noticed there was something wrong.  What was the matter with that person?”  I would explain to him that his approach to questioning and drilling down shook the confidence of some people.  Again confused, he would say “I don’t get it.  I’m just trying to find out how things are going!”  He was a total thinker and never learned the value of balancing it with feeling type questions.

Feeling – Positive and Negative

The positive side of the feeling preference is truly caring.  Caring for people.  Caring for values.  The feeling preference focuses on things like values, mercy, compliments, harmony, empathy, compassion.  These are actually the issues that help create great teams.  If you’ve read my blogs you’ll know that there is no correlation between IQ and success.  But, there is a complete correlation between EQ and success.  EQ is Emotional Quotient and deals with many of the issues we just listed above: value, harmony, empathy, compassion.  The feeling preference does not ignore the thinking side.  They’ll acknowledge all of the points that the thinking preference makes as being real and accurate but will question if a decision is better being made on the facts or harmony (or other feeling preference focus).

I’ve watched leadership teams get ready to make a decision based on logic.  They’ll list all of the logical reasons they should make this particular decision.  But then, someone says “But how will our customers react to that decision?”  After a pause, someone will say “Your right.  They’ll hate it.  Maybe we should consider a different decision.”

Statistics

I’m going to take a look at the statistics to see what we might learn and then I want to close with a couple of more thoughts.

Here at the Statistics:

US Population Thinking = 40%;  Feeling = 60%
Leadership Teams Thinking = 84%;  Feeling = 16%
Operation Teams Thinking = 83%;  Feeling = 17%

One of the things we learn from these numbers is that both Leadership and Operations Teams are substantially more thinking-oriented than the general population.  To some degree, this makes sense because businesses and corporations generally run and make their decisions based on logic, not feelings.  However, that’s a falsehood.

Fifth Avenue marketing firms learned long ago that people make decisions based on feelings and then justify those decisions based on logic.  Business and Corporate leaders are just the same, they just won’t often admit it.  In fact, it’s important to know that even ideas are believed to be true based on our emotions and then justified by logic.  Knowing this to be true, it’s important that when having a team discussion about which decision to make, members should share their feelings, emotions, previous experiences (baggage) with each other.  And don’t let a member get away with explaining the logic of a decision.  Make sure they share their emotions first, then explain what logic they use based on the emotions.

You’ll get sick of me saying this time and time again, but the best decisions are balanced.  Balance, balance, balance.  However, it’s important that to balance this Deciding function, you must start with the feeling side.

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BlogMyers-BriggsMyers-Briggs Under Pressure

Myers-Briggs Under Pressure: Feeling

by Ron Potter July 24, 2017

“Let’s change the topic, I don’t want to deal with this at the moment.”

“Look, it’s your fault that we’re in this mess anyway. If you had made arrangements for this while you were on vacation it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.”

“I just don’t want to hear it any more, this is the way it’s going to happen!”

(If you didn’t start with the introduction to this “Myers-Briggs Under Pressure” series, I suggest you make a quick review  because it will help you better understand these subsequent blogs.)

Brenda is stuck! Her dominant function is Feeling which helps her know what’s really important in most situations and appreciate input from just about anyone. And normally, she’ll balance these great skills with either a good conceptual view of the world or a great grasp of the data, depending on her complete type.

There are four types that have this particular combination, the Introverted ISFP, INFP and the Extraverted ESFJ, ENFJ. As noted above the dominant in all four cases is Feeling and the inferior in all four cases is Thinking. These are what’s known as our Deciding functions, how do we decide what to do after we have taken in the data through our Perceiving functions of Sensing and iNtuition.

In a healthy state, these Deciding functions would then work in tandem with the “perceiving” functions of Sensing or iNtuition depending type. But, under pressure or stress, Brenda begins to lose this natural balance, falling back to her dominant function which will expose her feelings, no matter how raw they may be. Brenda will either become hypercritical or hypersensitive or both under pressure.

Balance, Balance, Balance

This is where team members and colleagues come into play. It’s difficult for any one of us to break out of these pressure packed situations. As colleagues, we want to help Brenda back into a balanced state by asking and sometimes even forcing her to use his auxiliary function. Notice that Brenda’s auxiliary function could be either Sensing or iNtuition depending on type. Let’s start with the Sensing balance.

“Brenda, we can’t ignore the topic right now, we need to make a decision this week.”

“I’m sorry I just can’t deal with it right now, there are just too many things this could impact.”

“Can we take a look at the data and see where that might be leading us and then discuss how that might impact the values of the company, if at all?”

“Yes, if you guarantee that we’ll see how these figures will impact the way we’re going to work this out with the people.”

As we begin to force Brenda to try a little balancing act, she’ll begin to regain her footing. Note that we can’t tell Brenda that his data problem doesn’t impact our overall values. Brenda has to come to grips with that through balancing her own natural Feeling and Sensing functions.

If we’re dealing with either the INFP or ENFJ than iNtuition is the auxiliary function, not Sensing. The approach is similar, but focused more on the conceptual or future view (iNtuition) rather than the data (Sensing).

“Brenda, we really don’t think this new direction will impact our care and concern for the employees but let’s see if we can see a way through this.”

“I just don’t see how it’s going to happen. I’m concerned we’ll end up in a very bad place.”

“We’ll, let’s talk through that. Describe for me the outcome you see as most likely in this case.”

“It’s just not going to end well.”

“Well, let’s get a grip on the possible outcomes and then really talk through the good and bad of the situation and see how we could mitigate any negative outcomes.”

“OK, I guess we’re just talking anyway. We can make the decisions as we figure out the best path.”

As we begin to force Brenda to try a little balancing act, she’ll begin to regain her footing. Note that we can’t tell her where the scenarios will lead. Brenda has to come to grips with that through balancing her own natural Feeling and iNtuition functions.

Stay tuned. We’ll continue to explore other ways to conduct your own “balancing” act. The best leaders have learned to balance their natural temperament functions with those of the people and teams around them. It’s when the functions get out of balance or opposed to each other that we get stuck as individuals and teams.

When it comes to your temperament, balance, balance, balance is the key to success.

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BlogMyers-BriggsYou Might Be Surprised

You Might Be Surprised: Thinking or Feeling – Part II

by Ron Potter May 23, 2016

You Might Be SuprisedAfter years of being totally compatible in almost every area, are Dave and Charlie discovering that they’re really quite different?

Spoiler alert!!!  To fully appreciate this blog take just a minute and read our last blog that sets the stage for understanding the apparent conflict between Dave and Charlie and how they view each other.

After Dave erupted in utter disbelief which was turning into complete distain for the validity of the Myers-Briggs instrument we tried to calm things down long enough to turn this into a good learning opportunity.  After a few false starts we finally hit on a question that fairly and accurately painted a picture of the differences between Dave and Charlie.

We asked Charlie if he felt he was located in an accurate position on the Deciding (Thinking-Feeling) scale now that he had learned the difference between the two approaches.  With Dave still staring at him in disbelief Charlie indicated that he felt it was a fair and accurate assessment and he actually felt very comfortable with the outcome.  Once again Dave couldn’t contain himself with a very loud “No Way!”

But then the question:  Dave, what process do you use to purchase a new car?  Dave was quick and precise; he would first determine the class of vehicle he currently needed (truck, SUV, sedan, etc), then he would research all new entries into the market, do a complete analysis of performance, maintenance and long-term care and finally use all the modern tools available on the web to find the absolute best price before finally approaching a dealership armed with all of the ammo he needed to make his purchase.

Charlie, what process do you use to purchase a new car?  “Well, I’ve had one car salesman that I started using right out of college.  He’s taken good care of me through the years and we’ve actually become pretty good friends.  I trust him and I believe he has my best interest at heart so when he calls and says it’s time for me to purchase a new car, I ask him for his recommendations and have always purchased what he suggested.  It’s always worked just fine for me.”  Charlie made his decision based on the values of friendship, loyalty and trust.  It works for him.  Charlie comfortably fit on the Feeling side of the Deciding function.

Dave of course sat there with his mouth wide open.  When he regained his composure enough to control of his jaw muscles, he finally said to Charlie “You have always seemed to have cars that fit your need and personality so I guess we can still be fishing buddies.”

Be very careful when you think you really know someone and their Myers-Briggs functions, they might just surprise you.

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BlogMyers-BriggsYou Might Be Surprised

You Might Be Surprised: Thinking or Feeling – Part I

by Ron Potter May 2, 2016

You Might Be Surprised
Dave and Charlie had been best friends for most of their lives. They had met in college and seemed to share common interests in both the classes they were taking and in the great outdoors. Both of them loved camping, hiking and most of all fishing. As their careers began their work took them in different directions but they used their outdoor activities to stay connected and would schedule at least one fishing trip together each year. Families began to grow and the distractions increased but their annual fishing trip was never abandoned.
And then a wonderful thing happened about half way through their careers. All of a sudden they were working for the same company and ended up in the same city. As it turned out their children had all gone away to college and they had a bit more time to spend together and they took full advantage of it by adding some weekend outings and expanding their fishing adventures to all kinds of venues.
You probably couldn’t find two guys more compatible then Dave and Charlie. They knew their similarities added to their mutual bond.
Then one day Dave and Charlie ended up in one of my Myers-Briggs team building sessions. As I run the sessions I rearrange the people in the room around the conference table based on their positioning within each scale. This allows me to talk with those in the middle of the scale about their ability to adjust their behavior depending on the situation. It also allows me to talk with those who are solidly on one side or the other of the scale about how clear their preferences are and how they will default to those preferences in many situations and often without even much thought. It’s just natural.
As we progressed through the scales of Energizing (Extraversion and Introversion) and the Attending/Perceiving functions, Dave and Charlie weren’t far apart and I could often see them exchanging knowing looks. Then we came to the deciding function, the one identified by Thinking and Feeling.
Once we’ve taken in our information through either our Extraversion conversation or Introversion reflections and processed it through our Sensing attention to detail or our iNtuitive conceptual view, we then will decide. This Deciding function shows us how we approach decisions from either a very logical, practical angle or a Values based approach. While Thinking types will consider emotions and feelings as data to weigh their decisions will be made based on logic. And while the Feeling types will consider logic and objectivity as data to value, in the end they will make their decision based on values.
Well now the dynamics between Dave and Charlie had changed. Dave was solidly on the Thinking side of the table and Charlie was well into the Feeling side of the table and Dave was staring at Charlie in utter disbelief.
Finally, Charlie almost erupted. “There is no way this instrument can be valid! Charlie and I have known each other all of our lives and we are completely alike. There is no way he could be on the Feeling side of this category. That’s not who we are!!!”
Can you guess how Charlie reacted? Did he truly belong on the Feeling side of this preference? Did Dave really not know Charlie after all of these years? In our next Myers-Briggs based blog we’ll continue the story of Dave and Charlie. Please join us. You might be surprised.

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BlogMyers-BriggsYou Might Be a Jerk If

You Might Be a Jerk If: Feeling

by Ron Potter January 4, 2016

You Might be a Jerk If

“Let’s change the topic, I don’t want to deal with this at the moment.”

“Look, it’s your fault that we’re in this mess anyway.  If you had made arrangements for this while you were on vacation it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.”

“I just don’t want to hear it any more, this is the way it’s going to happen!”

(If you didn’t start with the introduction to this “You might be a jerk if…” series, I suggest you make a quick review because it will help you better understand these subsequent blogs.)

Brenda is stuck!  Her dominant function is Feeling which helps her know what’s really important in most situations and appreciate input from just about anyone.  And normally, she’ll balance these great skills with either a good conceptual view of the world or a great grasp of the data, depending on her complete type.

There are four types that have this particular combination, the Introverted ISFP, INFP and the Extraverted ESFJ, ENFJ.  As noted above the dominant in all four cases is Feeling and the inferior in all four cases is Thinking.  These are what’s known as our Deciding functions, how do we decide what to do after we have taken in the data through our Perceiving functions of Sensing and iNtuition.

In a healthy state, these Deciding functions would then work in tandem with the “perceiving” functions of Sensing or iNtuition depending type.  But, under pressure or stress, Brenda begins to lose this natural balance, falling back to her dominant function which will expose her feelings, no matter how raw they may be.  Brenda will either become hypercritical or hypersensitive or both under pressure.

Balance, Balance, Balance

This is where team members and colleagues come into play.  It’s difficult for any one of us to break out of these pressure packed situations.  As colleagues, we want to help Brenda back into a balanced state by asking and sometimes even forcing her to use his auxiliary function.  Notice that Brenda’s auxiliary function could be either Sensing or iNtuition depending on type.  Let’s start with the Sensing balance.

“Brenda, we can’t ignore the topic right now, we need to make a decision this week.”

“I’m sorry I just can’t deal with it right now, there are just too many things this could impact.”

“Can we take a look at the data and see where that might be leading us and then discuss how that might impact the values of the company, if at all?”

“Yes, if you guarantee that we’ll see how these figures will impact the way we’re going to work this out with the people.”

As we begin to force Brenda to try a little balancing act, she’ll begin to regain her footing.  Note that we can’t tell Brenda that his data problem doesn’t impact our overall values.  Brenda has to come to grips with that through balancing her own natural Feeling and Sensing functions.

If we’re dealing with either the INFP or ENFJ than iNtuition is the auxiliary function, not Sensing.  The approach is similar, but focused more on the conceptual or future view (iNtuition) rather than the data (Sensing).

“Brenda, we really don’t think this new direction will impact our care and concern for the employees but let’s see if we can see a way through this.”

“I just don’t see how it’s going to happen.  I’m concerned we’ll end up in a very bad place.”

“We’ll, let’s talk through that.  Describe for me the outcome you see as most likely in this case.”

“It’s just not going to end well.”

“Well, let’s get a grip on the possible outcomes and then really talk through the good and bad of the situation and see how we could mitigate any negative outcomes.”

“OK, I guess we’re just talking anyway.  We can make the decisions as we figure out the best path.”

As we begin to force Brenda to try a little balancing act, she’ll begin to regain her footing.  Note that we can’t tell her where the scenarios will lead.  Brenda has to come to grips with that through balancing her own natural Feeling and iNtuition functions.

Stay tuned.  We’ll continue to explore other ways to conduct your own “balancing” act.  The best leaders have learned to balance their natural temperament functions with those of the people and teams around them.  It’s when the functions get out of balance or opposed to each other that we get stuck as individuals and teams.

When it comes to your temperament, balance, balance, balance is the key to success.

 

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BlogMyers-BriggsMyers-Briggs In-Depth

Myers-Briggs In-Depth: Deciding: Thinking vs Feeling – Part II

by Ron Potter April 27, 2015

MeyersBriggsIn-DepthDeep Misconceptions

I mentioned in my last blog on this preference of Thinking and Feeling (our Deciding function) that most (business) people react negatively to this “Feeling” function and will associate with the Thinking side rather than the “touchy feely” side.  This causes an imbalance in Corporate Leadership teams of roughly 85% identify themselves with a Thinking Preference and about 15% with a Feeling Preference.

T and F Buddies

Years ago we had a pair of hunting and fishing buddies on the team, Ted (with a Thinking Preference) and Fred (with a Feeling Preference).  As we introduced this preference and Fred came out on the Feeling end of the spectrum Ted had an incredibly animated reaction.  “What do you mean Fred is on the Feeling side of this scale?  No way!  We’ve been hunting and fishing buddies for years.  We think the same about almost any topic.  We almost finish each other’s sentences.  No way is Fred on the Feeling side of this scale!”  Interestingly, Fred seemed to just remain quiet through the episode with a slight smile on his face.

How do you Buy a Car?

At one point, as Ted continued to grumble at the inaccuracy of the instrument, the question was asked, how do you go about purchasing a car?  Ted launched into a detailed explanation of how he does all of his internet research; knowing every detail about the car he wants, how consumers rate the car, what’s the residual value after a few years of ownership, what price people have been paying in his region and a whole host of other logical data sets for purchasing the car.  He only then approaches the dealer to make the best possible purchase.  When the same question was asked of Fred he said something like “I have a dealer that I have worked with for 15 years and trust him to call me when he thinks I should replace my car and tell me which car would be best for me, offers me a deal and I take it.”  The sound of Ted’s jaw hitting the floor made everyone jump.

Which Deciding Function is Better?

Even as you’re reading this I’m probably getting different answers.  In the personal case of Ted and Fred, the answer is both.  For Ted, his research and logical decision helps him make the “best” decision for him.  For Fred, he was totally comfortable that a valuable relationship had been developed and could be trusted resulting in the best decision for him.

Favorite Equation

In a team situation, as always, the best answer is Balance, Balance, Balance.  One of my favorite equations is:

Effective Decisions = Quality of Decision X Acceptance of Decision (E.D. = QXA)

We can have the highest quality and accurate decision made but if people don’t accept the decision, no positive outcomes are achieved.  We can have the most highly accepted decision that everyone is cheering over and if it’s not accurate or the best decision for the circumstances, it also becomes a failure.  Good or effective decisions require both quality and acceptance.  Thinking types focus on quality while Feeling types focus on acceptance.  We need both.  Balance, Balance, Balance!

Have you learned to balance your own preference type?  Do you have someone around you that helps you with this balancing act?  How about your teams?  Have you learned to balance, balance, balance?  Share some stories with us.

Myers-Briggs In-Depth is a blog series in which I dive into each MBTI function with more detail, providing some practical applications for creating better dynamics and better decision making. Click here to read the entire series.
Interested in an overview of each of the four Myers-Briggs functions? Click here to read the Using MBTI to Great Advantage series.

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BlogMyers-BriggsMyers-Briggs In-Depth

Myers-Briggs In-Depth: Deciding: Thinking vs Feeling – Part I

by Ron Potter April 13, 2015

MeyersBriggsIn-DepthDeep Misconceptions

We learned in the Energizing Function that preconceived ideas of what constitutes an Extravert and an Introvert often lead to misunderstandings.  It gets even worse in this function because of the title “Feeling.”

Most (business) people react negatively to this “Feeling” function and will associate with the Thinking side rather than the “touchy feely” side.  While this is a complete misconception, it drives a very strong bias to the Thinking side.  In my data base of corporate leaders that I’ve gathered over the last 25 years, roughly 85% identify themselves with a Thinking Preference and about 15% with a Feeling Preference.  This is far outside the parameters of the other functions.

Why the bias?

The main reason is that the people leading corporations pride themselves with making purely logical decisions.  Or more accurately, leaders fool themselves into believing they make purely logical decisions.  We know through observation and are increasingly aware through brain science that we actually make more of our decisions on the feeling side and then justify them by logic.  I think that’s the point here.

It Felt Like the Right Thing to Do at the Time

Justified.  Besides being the title of one of my favorite TV programs over the last several years, we are often faced with this issue in the corporate world.  As we review results we are often asked how and why a certain decision was made.  If we can recall the “logical” steps that we went through to make the long ago decision, we have a chance of justifying the decision.  If our only response is “It felt like the right decision at the time” it becomes difficult to defend our choices.  More corporate leaders identify themselves with a Thinking Preference (85%) because of the assumed superiority of Thinking, logical based decisions.

How Do You Feel about that?

I’ve used one technique through the years that dispels this imbalance very quickly.  While grappling with a topic during a team discussion I’ll ask “What do you think about this solution?”  This question will generate many logical based answers.  A little while later I’ll ask “How do you feel about this solution?”  For the truly Thinking preferenced people, it seldom generates any new response beyond their initial logic based response.  But for those members who actually reside closer to the middle or even on the Feeling side of this preference, it generates a much more robust, deeply felt answer.  And what’s amazing to me is that these responses almost always initiate a deeper discussion that many times leads to a different answer than was first proposed.  Also, the Thinking crowd actually begins to engage in their Feeling side which begins to create balance.  Remember, Balance, Balance, Balance is the key to great decision making with Myers-Briggs.

Myers-Briggs In-Depth is a blog series in which I dive into each MBTI function with more detail, providing some practical applications for creating better dynamics and better decision making. Click here to read the entire series.
Interested in an overview of each of the four Myers-Briggs functions? Click here to read the Using MBTI to Great Advantage series.

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BlogMyers-BriggsUsing MBTI to Great Advantage

Using MBTI to Great Advantage – Deciding

by Ron Potter January 18, 2015

Using MBTI to Great Advantage is a blog series in which I’ll do an overview of each of the four Myers-Briggs (MBTI) functions and then in subsequent blogs will dig into each one in more depth with some practical applications for creating better dynamics and better decisions making. Click here to read the Series Introduction.


Deciding Overview: Thinking vs. Feeling

MBTI series header

Now that you’ve “perceived” (the first decision making function) the world around you (see previous MBTI blog), how do you then finally decide (the 2nd decision making function)?

As we work our way through the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), we once again encounter two words that carry a lot of pre-conceived baggage. Most business leaders assume (incorrectly) that business decisions should be made on a purely logical, fact based, “thinking” basis. There isn’t any room for touchy-feely in business decision making.

Well, the Feeling side of this function isn’t necessarily touchy-feely and in fact some of the most hard-nosed leaders I’ve met actually fall on the Feeling side of this equation. It’s not about emotion it’s about values and the “right” thing to do. Our Thinking types can lay out an argument that is purely logical, based on facts, and structured top to bottom building a clear argument for their case. Our Feeling types may look at all those facts and logic and actually agree with the conclusion but at the same time say “Who cares? Is this the right thing to do for our employees, customers, shareholders?”

Emotional Thought. This balancing act is often referred to as “Emotional Thought.” In his book Learn or Die: Using Science to Build a Leading-Edge Learning Organization, Edward Hess says”

 “Neurobiological research has shown that certain aspects of cognition, such as learning, attention, memory, decision making, and social functioning, are ‘both profoundly affected by emotion and in fact subsumed within the processes of emotion.’” (Bolds are mine)

This one is tough. Balancing this one becomes particularly tricky but has profound impact if we achieve the right balance. Also, all of the latest brain research that has been exploding over the last ten to fifteen years points to the fact that we as human beings actually make our decisions based on the Feelings side of this equation and then justify our decision based on logic (Thinking). We’ll have a lot more to learn about this one in coming blogs.

But, once again, the three rules for being more effective at decision making are:
1. Balance
2. Balance
3. Balance

This one may be the more difficult one to personally balance. What have some of your experiences been either successful or unsuccessful?

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