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Curiosity

REPOST

ROUNDUP: Curiousity

by Ron Potter July 6, 2023
A Note From the Editor:
As we recently mentioned, we are reposting popular blog posts while Ron is recovering from some health issues. Are you curious about curiosity?

Ron’s Short Review: I just love the idea of curiosity and use it often to help myself and clients learn to listen better.  Brian Grazer (Ron Howard’s movie producing partner) makes a great case for how intentional curiosity has helped him live a richer life.  I did take a few notes but I think the book could have been written with at least one third fewer pages.  I think the books “A More Beautiful Question” and “Learn or Die” have a little more meat on the topic.


Ron’s Short Review: This one really convinces you that managers have answers, true leaders have questions, provoke questions and teach their teams to constantly question.


Ron’s Short Review: Many organizations rely on getting better, faster, and cheaper, others rely on innovation to drive growth. Both require learning.


Are You Curious?

Be careful how you answer, it may define your chances of success!

Source: Beverly & Pack, Creative Commons

Source: Beverly & Pack, Creative Commons

I’ve been reading A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life by Brian Grazer.  Most of us know Brian because of his movie making partnership with Ron Howard.  Look at their film biography sometime.  All great films.

But the reason I started reading the book was not because of who Brain was but because of the title, A Curious Mind.  For much of my consulting career, the word curious has been an important concept in my work.  One issue that I seem to be working on with many leaders and in fact the one that seems to gain them the most traction in becoming better leaders is listening.  I try to help them grasp the concept and practice of listening with an intention to understand rather than listening with the intention to respond.  It really makes a difference in people’s lives and in our learning ability if we can make this shift to listening to the other person to completely understand what they’re saying and what’s behind or driving what they’re saying.  Stop trying to figure out how you’re going to respond to the person and just listen to understand them.

When my clients ask for help at getting better at listening to understand I talk to them about curiosity.  Everyone seems to be curious about something.  Everyone seems to have at least one topic that they enjoy, are passionate about, never tire of learning about, and are tremendously curious about.

What happens to your mind when you’re pursuing that curiosity?

  • How are you thinking about the topic?
  • Why do you want to learn more about the topic?
  • What happens when you learn a whole new aspect of the topic?
  • What happens when you learn something that seems to be counter to what you’ve learned in the past or thought you already knew or understood?

What’s happening is that you’re unleashing your curiosity.

Humble leaders listen to others with curiosity.  They want to learn.  They want their beliefs challenged and upset.  They’re gaining new perspectives.  Warren Berger really fleshes this out in his book A More Beautiful Question.

A few of the quotes that caught my eye from Brian included:

  • “Life isn’t about finding the answers, it’s about asking the questions.”
  • “I’ve discovered that even when you’re in charge, you are often much more effective asking questions than giving orders.”
  • “I’m a boss—Ron Howard and I run Imagine together—but I’m not much of an order giver. My management style is to ask questions. If someone’s doing something I don’t understand, or don’t like, if someone who works for me is doing something unexpected, I start out asking questions. Being curious.”

Are you curious?  Are you a leader?  You won’t be good at leading if you’re not good with curiosity!


This post was originally posted here on September 24, 2015. These reviews were originally posted here, here, and here on September 26, 2015, January 25, 2014, and May 24, 2014.
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BlogPersonal

Chart Your Path

by Ron Potter August 11, 2022

I met Ashira Jones many years ago and she has always been a very stimulating force in my life.  I like the way she thinks and I like the way she acts.   She has a blog that you can find by using her name.

Curious

This is from an old blog of hers but it seemed appropriate for my circumstances at the moment.  The title is “Stay the course or chart your own path?”  I mentioned that my life had become too self-centered with the illness I was dealing with.  This list from Ashira is a good list about curiosity that can help you break out of that funk.

She says that if you pause to consider what you REALLY want in life, ask yourself these questions.

1. Are you where you want to be in life?  If not, what’s missing?

It’s so easy to live our life by default.  We roll with what comes along without thinking about what we want in life or where we should be.

I have another close friend, Fritz Seyferth.  Fritz is a Team Culture Coach.  His book is The Shift from Me to Team.  He is an incredible consultant and has helped many people and teams better themselves.  However, years ago we were talking about the percentage that really wants to get better.  It was purely a guess but the consultants around the table felt that if we were moving 6% of the people to 7%, we were probably doing well.  Are you a part of that 6-7% or are you just floating along?  As Ashira questions, are you what you want to be in life?

2. Is lifestyle creep limiting your options?

This is an interesting point that Ashira makes.  She says that lifestyle creep happens when increased income leads to discretionary spending.

It’s interesting to me because I retired (to a fixed income) several years ago.  Up to the point of retirement, I never thought very much about my spending.  While I didn’t get extremely extravagant, I did spend whatever I wanted whenever I wanted to without much thought.  Looking back I probably should have saved more and I certainly should have given away more.  Was lifestyle creep limiting my options?  Yes, I let it.

3. Can you articulate your top values?

I believe my values have always been relatively clear to me.  They probably could have been more focused.

Ashira talks about autonomy being at the top of her list.  I can see that in her.  She makes decisions that support and lives a life that supports that.  That might have been one of the reasons I’ve considered her an influential force in my life.

4. What patterns do you notice in your most frequent thoughts?

When I’m sitting and staring into space, my wife will often ask me what I’m thinking.  Sometimes it may take me a few minutes to put it into words but I am definitely in deep thought.

Unfortunately, I see too many people who are either afraid of being alone with their thoughts or just never developed the habit of paying attention to them.  Our social media with powerful computers in our hands has given people too many distractions.  It’s easy to avoid your own thoughts or spending any time contemplating what they mean to you.  That’s a very dangerous place to be.

5. What are you afraid of?

Ashira makes a really good point on this subject.  Fear can be very real.  However, if it’s examined you’ll notice some fears are real and other fears are fake.

When I was a young engineer, one of my first jobs was walking steel (6 to 8 inches wide), sometimes as high as 200 feet in the air.  There were no nets or safety belts.  It was a fearful situation and the fear was real.  Making a wrong turn in a car or wondering if someone else approves of your decisions can also be fearful but it’s a false fear within your own head.  Be very careful of your fears.  Sort them out, which are real, which are false.  Life will be easier when you’re clear.

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BlogTeam

Reality Is Constructed By Our Brain

by Ron Potter December 2, 2021

Neuroscientist Patrick Cavanagh says that “It’s really important to understand we’re not seeing reality, we’re seeing a story being created for us.”

Brain Stories

What actually creates these stories?  It’s our backgrounds, beliefs, assumptions that have been formed throughout our lifetime.  Dr. Cavanagh says that “Our brains bend our perception of reality to meet our desires or expectations.  They fill the gaps using our past experiences.”

Our brains see what we expect them to see.  I’ve talked before about how our backgrounds and experiences form our belief systems so that we see what we want or expect to see.  Remember the professor in Florida who had his class write down everything they could remember about the shuttle explosion that had occurred the day before? He collected all of their handwritten reports and then tracked down as many of them as he could several years later.  Not one of them agreed with what they had written because their memory was different.

One student actually read his 14 written pages very carefully and then totally rejected it.  He said the report was not correct then proceeded to tell the professor what “really” happened that day.  His mind had created its own reality in spite of what he had written down at the moment.

Curious About Our Brain Stories

If we know that our brain tends to make up stories so that we see and hear what we desire, shouldn’t we be curious enough to explore what the reality is compared to our brain story?

It’s when we don’t have that curiosity about our brain story and simply accept our perception as the reality that creates problems as leaders and team members.

Intellectual Humility

In a Vox article, Brian Resnick said “Intellectual humility: the importance of knowing you might be wrong.”

This is a great statement: knowing that you might be wrong.

The first part of that statement is “knowing”.  We all assume that our view of the world and circumstances is “correct”.  However, if we mature in our thinking we begin to understand that our view or opinion is firmly rooted in the experiences and history that we have lived.  Having respect for others indicates that we’re beginning to learn that their view or opinion is also firmly rooted in their experiences and history.  And just like snowflakes, no two human beings have exactly the same experiences.

The second part of the statement is knowing that we might be wrong.  I don’t believe that one set of experiences is right and one is wrong.  I simply believe they are each unique.  Building great teams starts with this premise.  With full respect, we start sharing the different opinions and beliefs that we each hold.  Once we’ve shared and understood, it’s then possible for the team to develop a unique response to the situation that belongs to the team.  Not an individual.

Team Unity

It’s when a team reaches this unity that they really begin to become a team.  They made the decision together.  They each had a different view coming into the discussion.  But they come out with a decision that the entire team supports.  Even when others remind us that we had a very different opinion going into the team discussion we can honestly say, “that’s true, I did have a different opinion but as I heard each of the different opinions and listened with respect, we were able to make a team decision that I completely support.”

Team decisions that are made after each person has been listened to, understood, and respected for their opinions are the strongest types of decisions.  Team members all support the decision and people around the team can easily see the commitment to the decision and the trust and respect they have for each other.  This kind of team can lead a company to new heights.

Try it.  It really works!

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BlogLeadership

Leaders Don’t Lack Curiosity

by Ron Potter July 29, 2021

“Journalists were once marked by their curiosity. Now the only thing that’s curious about many of them is their lack of curiosity when a story doesn’t fit their priors.”

That is an interesting statement by Gerard Baker in the Wall Street Journal

Change in Journalistic Standards

I once read that there was a change in our journalistic schools during the Watergate Break-in when Woodward and Bernstein worked with their secretive informant that became known as Deep Throat.   Their reporting eventually led to Richard Nixon’s resignation from the presidency.

The change at the journalism schools was described as a move from reporting the news to making the news.  The students now felt they could become the newsmakers rather than just reporters.  I believe this eventually led to Mr. Baker’s statement in the WSJ that journalists were no longer curious if the story didn’t fit their priors.

The definition in Webster’s dictionary for the word prior is: taking precedence (as in importance).  This means that a journalist’s prior belief of what is right or wrong or if it is the right agenda takes precedence over being curious.

Being curious used to be what was important to report the news.

Leadership Priors

Leaders have priors.  There are things they believe about leadership, their corporate mission, the marketplace, and many other spaces.  However, knowing that you have those beliefs and still keeping an open mind, curious about what others think or believe is the hallmark of great leadership.

Scott Fitzgerald is quoted as saying: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”   Leaders should possess first-rate intelligence.  That means that opposing thoughts may both be valid.

I believe the best leaders and leadership teams should constantly be dealing with the dilemmas they face.  As Fitzgerald says, that first-rate mind still retains the ability to function.

With dilemmas, there are no right and wrong answers.  That’s what managers are dealing with.  Leaders should be dealing with dilemmas where both answers are equally good or bad, right or wrong.  “Being on the horns of a dilemma” means that you’re going to get gored either way.  You’re just picking the horn that will or won’t gore you.

Leaders retain the ability to function even when faced with dilemmas!

Beliefs and Convictions

Our current society tries to lump us together in certain categories.  While some of us may have very similar backgrounds, we each have a different set of beliefs and convictions.

I often ran an exercise with the teams I was working with that I called “Human Beings, not Human Doings.”  At work, we’re often thought of by what we do.  But if we leave our understanding strictly on what they do, not who they are, it leads to many of the conflicts and bad feelings that can happen in the workplace.

One of the topics I’ll use in the exercise is to ask “what person and/or event has shaped who you are today?”

I grew up in a very small, homogenous, rural community in southern Michigan.  On the surface, it looks like all of my classmates came from the same mold.  But we have each been shaped by different people and events.

For instance, I grew up with a father that had lost a leg during WWII.  Of all my classmates, I was the only one with a father who only had one leg.  His hard work, entrepreneurial spirit, and no complaining attitude shaped me.  I had much less patience for consulting clients who tended to whine and complain and shift the blame for their own behavior.

Because of my father, my belief was that you worked hard, did your best, and took responsibility.  I had a different experience than all my “homogenous” classmates.  And they had different experiences than I did.  We must get to know the human being, behind what they do for a living.

We are Each Unique

It’s been said that no two snowflakes are alike.  I believe that about humans as well.  As my brother and sisters and I have talked during our adult years, it’s obvious that each of them is unique and different from each other.  And yet we grew up in the same house in the same small town with exactly the same two parents.

Get to know the human beings on your team.  It will add a great deal of understanding and closeness that is needed to build great teams.

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Short Book Reviews

A Curious Mind

by Ron Potter September 26, 2015

A Curious MindRon’s Short Review: I just love the idea of curiosity and use it often to help myself and clients learn to listen better.  Brian Grazer (Ron Howard’s movie producing partner) makes a great case for how intentional curiosity has helped him live a richer life.  I did take a few notes but I think the book could have been written with at least one third fewer pages.  I think the books “A More Beautiful Question” and “Learn or Die” have a little more meat on the topic.

Click here to read my further thoughts on curiosity and this book…

Amazon-Buy-Buttonkindle-buy button

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BlogLeadership

Are you Curious?

by Ron Potter September 24, 2015

Be careful how you answer, it may define your chances of success!

Source: Beverly & Pack, Creative Commons

Source: Beverly & Pack, Creative Commons

I’ve been reading A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life by Brian Grazer.  Most of us know Brian because of his movie making partnership with Ron Howard.  Look at their film biography sometime.  All great films.

But the reason I started reading the book was not because of who Brain was but because of the title, A Curious Mind.  For much of my consulting career, the word curious has been an important concept in my work.  One issue that I seem to be working on with many leaders and in fact the one that seems to gain them the most traction in becoming better leaders is listening.  I try to help them grasp the concept and practice of listening with an intention to understand rather than listening with the intention to respond.  It really makes a difference in people’s lives and in our learning ability if we can make this shift to listening to the other person to completely understand what they’re saying and what’s behind or driving what they’re saying.  Stop trying to figure out how you’re going to respond to the person and just listen to understand them.

When my clients ask for help at getting better at listening to understand I talk to them about curiosity.  Everyone seems to be curious about something.  Everyone seems to have at least one topic that they enjoy, are passionate about, never tire of learning about, and are tremendously curious about.

What happens to your mind when you’re pursuing that curiosity?

  • How are you thinking about the topic?
  • Why do you want to learn more about the topic?
  • What happens when you learn a whole new aspect of the topic?
  • What happens when you learn something that seems to be counter to what you’ve learned in the past or thought you already knew or understood?

What’s happening is that you’re unleashing your curiosity.

Humble leaders listen to others with curiosity.  They want to learn.  They want their beliefs challenged and upset.  They’re gaining new perspectives.  Warren Berger really fleshes this out in his book A More Beautiful Question.

A few of the quotes that caught my eye from Brian included:

  • “Life isn’t about finding the answers, it’s about asking the questions.”
  • “I’ve discovered that even when you’re in charge, you are often much more effective asking questions than giving orders.”
  • “I’m a boss—Ron Howard and I run Imagine together—but I’m not much of an order giver. My management style is to ask questions. If someone’s doing something I don’t understand, or don’t like, if someone who works for me is doing something unexpected, I start out asking questions. Being curious.”

Are you curious?  Are you a leader?  You won’t be good at leading if you’re not good with curiosity!

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Short Book Reviews

A More Beautiful Question

by Ron Potter January 25, 2014

More Beautiful QRon’s Short Review: This one really convinces you that managers have answers, true leaders have questions, provoke questions and teach their teams to constantly question.

Amazon-Buy-Buttonkindle-buy button

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