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Control

BlogTrust Me

Who is Controlling This Thing?

by Ron Potter March 20, 2017

Here’s a challenge: On a scale of 1 to 5, rate your need for control in various situations.

Overcontrol diminishes trust. Control-freak leaders have a hard time building truly great teams. Their lack of trust in subordinates hamstrings creativity and superior performance. Conversely, a humble leader, who is not too full of self, has the capacity and good sense to allow others to sparkle and make a difference.

A humble leader steps aside so that others can run by and seize the prize of their own greatness. But just how is this done? Here’s an overview:

Assume the best of others

Leaders who expect the best of others exert a powerful influence. Many times leaders get caught in the trap of judging others. They measure, categorize, and classify people and the jobs they perform. Ken Blanchard likes to talk about “catching people doing things right.” This idea puts the emphasis on solid behavior and good intentions. It forces managers to assume and reward the best. It helps leaders not make rigid rules that hold down employees who want to soar.

Learn to listen

Being quick to listen implies the leader is not distracted but is actively hearing what the other person is saying. A humble leader listens with the intent of understanding rather than responding. Listening with the intent to understand triggers curious questions that help both the listener and speaker grow in their thinking and improve their conclusions.

Reward honest communication

How do you react when someone tells you bad news? Does the messenger become a target for your arrows? We know a man who confronted his boss over a matter that had the potential to really upset the company’s applecart. Instead of shooting the messenger, the supervisor commended the truth-bearer for his straightforward approach and creativity. He was able to look past the message to the employee’s intentions. The boss agreed with his employee in significant ways and changed his perspective. He rewarded open communication, and the company was better off because of it.

Admit your mistakes

Humble, open leaders show vulnerability. And nothing demonstrates vulnerability quite like admitting mistakes. “I was wrong” is difficult to say, but it is one of the most freeing and powerful statements a leader can make. Admitting your mistakes allows others on the team to relax and admit their mistakes. It allows the team to breathe and grow. Admission of wrong, seeking and granting forgiveness, and moving on are powerful tools of a humble leader.

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Absurd!BlogIn-Depth Book Reviews

Absurd!: Effective Managers are Not in Control

by Ron Potter March 17, 2016

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I’m continuing my series on an in-depth look at a wonderful little book that’s twenty years old this year. The title is Management of the Absurd by Richard Farson. You may want to consider dropping back and reading the previous blogs about ABSURD! I think it will put each new one in great context.

Chapter 5 is titled: Effective Managers are Not in Control
Just because the organizational chart puts you in a box that is labeled a manager or leader it doesn’t automatically make you effective at the job. This point that Farson makes is that organizational charts may put you in “control” but that’s not what being a good manager or leader is all about.

Learners
A few of the points that he makes in this chapter include:

“Effective leaders and managers approach situations as learners, sometimes as teachers, sometimes as both.”

Being a learner and or teacher and knowing when to be each requires a level of humility that great leaders possess. They are seldom telling people what to do but are always learning and teaching themselves so that people grow and the situation is addressed in the best form possible, not just what they think needs to be done.

Make Meaning
Good leaders:

“turn confusion into understanding. They see a bigger picture. Their strength is rooted in the qualities-passion, sensitivity, tenacity, patience, courage, firmness, enthusiasm, wonder.”

This takes a level of maturity and understanding that comes from that attitude of learning and teaching described above.

Human Beings
Farson points out that:

“People often want a moment with us (leaders) when we are genuinely ourselves without façade or pretense or defensiveness, when we are revealed as human beings, when we are vulnerable.”

One session that I’ve conducted with many of the teams I work with is titled “Human Beings vs Human Doings.” While we spend the majority of our lives at work, we are usually relating to other people based on what they do (or are not doing) rather than who they are. Once we sit down and start learning about each other as Human Beings and what makes us tick, what experiences we’ve had that shape us and who are those individuals that have influenced us, everything that we do starts to make a lot more sense.

Leaders are not in control. Leaders help others learn, develop and grow into the people they want to be and are doing the same thing themselves. (click to Tweet)

Do you know who you want to be? Do you know who you are today. Or more importantly do you know who others assume you to be? If you’re in a position of leading people, they must know who you are and you must know who they are. Once you start building that foundation of trust, you’ll be able to get a lot of things done. Even though you’re not in control.

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