Competency Archives - Team Leadership Culture

Anyway by Kent Keith is a small quick read book. But, in spite of its small size, it is packed full of wisdom.

I’ll list all of the 10 Paradoxical Commandments here so that you can see all of them but then touch on a few that I believe are very powerful.

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love Them Anyway
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do Good Anyway
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed Anyway
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do Good Anyway
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be Honest and Frank Anyway
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest ideas.
Think Big Anyway
People favor underdogs but follow only the top dogs.
Fight for a Few Undergood Anyway
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build Anyway
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help People Anyway
Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the World the Best You Have anyway

Love them, do good, succeed, be honest and grand, think big, fight for a few underdogs, build, help, give your best, ANYWAY!

So few of us do it anyway. There always seem to be obstacles in the way. I think some of the worst are personal fear and worrying about what others think. I’ve often heard “what will others think?” People who are driven by what others think never achieve their own satisfaction, desires, and goals. As the book says, people always look for ways of stopping you and criticizing you. Somehow it makes them feel better about themself or superior by stopping your goals and ideas even though they have either non or very small goals themselves.

Let’s take a look at a few of these that I believe have a major impact.

Do Good Anyway

The profound statement in this section is “People who act on their own selfish interior motives commonly accuse others of doing the same thing.”

I can’t say that I’m totally clear of selfish motives. But I accomplish enough things without ulterior motives that I’m always surprised that other people think I’m only doing things for selfish reasons.

My first reaction is one of total confusion and amazement. It seems the other person believes I’m doing something entirely for personal reasons when I feel that I’m doing something for the good of the whole or the benefit of another person. I’m totally confused and taken back. Then as I think about it, I realize that the person who thinks I’m doing something for selfish reasons runs their whole life on accomplishing things for totally selfish reasons. Because of this, they assume that everyone does things for selfish reasons and can’t even comprehend when someone is not driven by selfish reasons.

There is no way for them to understand doing something for the good of others because they would never think that way. Unfortunately, there are too many people in the world who think that way. It’s good for us to understand who they are, realize that they would never understand our motives, and do good anyway.

Think Big Anyway

Only a few people seem to think big. One of the reasons is that people don’t think of themselves as being “qualified.” I’ve gone through three different careers and have never felt qualified. Even though I had an engineering degree, it mostly taught me about the mathematics of engineering. I never felt “qualified” to walk structural steel 160 feet in the air.

My second career was developing a software company at the beginning of the microcomputer industry. I never felt qualified.

My third career was running a consulting business. I called it TLC (Team Leaders Culture). I never felt qualified to dispense wisdom in those three areas until a CEO client of mine told me one evening that I was good at all three (building teams by teaching leadership and transferring it down through the culture). But my real value was simply talking with him during our evening chats. I now felt qualified to simply talk with the client about any topic.

Living the Paradoxical Life

Living the paradoxical life finds great personal meaning in loving and helping others find meaning in their lives.

Amy Cuddy has written at least three very profound books:

When They Trust You, They Hear You: A Modern Guide for Speaking to Any Audience
Leadership Presence – Part of HBR Emotional Intelligence Series (14 Books)
Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges

Amy says the first two things people want to know when they first meet you are:

Can I trust this person?
Can I respect this person?

Psychologists refer to these dimensions as warmth and competence, respectively.

Warmth is not measured on corporate evaluations

I often run an experiment with teams where half the team gets a list of characteristics found in a fictitious person. The other half of the team gets a similar list of characteristics on another fictitious person.

Both lists contain words such as:

Intelligent
Skillful
Industrious
Determined
Practical
As well as a few other descriptions

There is one (and only one) difference in the two lists:

One list contains the word “Warm”
The other list contains the word “Cold”

I then have the whole team vote on characteristics such as:

generous vs. ungenerous
unhappy vs. happy
reliable vs. unreliable
frivolous vs. serious
imaginative vs. hardheaded
dishonest vs. honest
There are 16 total comparisons

(Remember that the lists are identical except for the words warm and cold.)

The group that has the word “warm” in their descriptor attributes the more positive characteristic to their fictitious person.

The group with the word “cold” in their descriptor attributes the more negative characteristic to their fictitious person.

Is a person warm or cold? This one factor will set our expectations for that person and can be the difference of our trust factor! Be a warm person. It pays rewards.

Respect or Competence

In the book, Speed of Trust, author Stephen M. R. Covey lists four characteristics that need to be present before we trust someone. This list has often helped my consulting when there is obvious (at least to me) mistrust on a team. However, when I ask the team if they trust each other, the answers are almost always a positive yes.

But when I break down trust to this subset of characteristics, there is usually one where people have a concern. “Yes I trust the person but….”

The list is

Integrity – Is the person always the same person no matter who they are talking with or what the circumstances are?
Intent – This one usually revolves around the issue of what is best for the team or company vs. what is best for the individual. Is their intent focused on the best for others or the best for themselves?
Capabilities – The person may be sharp and accomplished but do they have the experiences necessary to work through the situation they face? Are they capable?
Results – Has the person actually produced positive results.? Often people talk a good line or more likely have a list of reasons why something didn’t work. Did they actually produce results in spite of the difficulties they faced?

When you break down the question of trust into these four components, it’s easier to deal with and identify.

Trust/Respect

Is trust more important than competency? Or is competency the supreme measure of success and reliability? If you think competency is the superior measurement, you need to read a chapter from Deep Change by Robert Quinn. The chapter is titled “Tyranny of Competence”.

Amy Cuddy says “But while competence is highly valued, it is evaluated only after trust is established. And focusing too much on displaying your strength can backfire”.

Be trustworthy first! It’s the only way your competency will have value.

Competency

Anyway