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Absurd

Absurd!: Effective Managers are Not in Control

by Ron Potter March 17, 2016

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I’m continuing my series on an in-depth look at a wonderful little book that’s twenty years old this year. The title is Management of the Absurd by Richard Farson. You may want to consider dropping back and reading the previous blogs about ABSURD! I think it will put each new one in great context.

Chapter 5 is titled: Effective Managers are Not in Control
Just because the organizational chart puts you in a box that is labeled a manager or leader it doesn’t automatically make you effective at the job. This point that Farson makes is that organizational charts may put you in “control” but that’s not what being a good manager or leader is all about.

Learners
A few of the points that he makes in this chapter include:

“Effective leaders and managers approach situations as learners, sometimes as teachers, sometimes as both.”

Being a learner and or teacher and knowing when to be each requires a level of humility that great leaders possess. They are seldom telling people what to do but are always learning and teaching themselves so that people grow and the situation is addressed in the best form possible, not just what they think needs to be done.

Make Meaning
Good leaders:

“turn confusion into understanding. They see a bigger picture. Their strength is rooted in the qualities-passion, sensitivity, tenacity, patience, courage, firmness, enthusiasm, wonder.”

This takes a level of maturity and understanding that comes from that attitude of learning and teaching described above.

Human Beings
Farson points out that:

“People often want a moment with us (leaders) when we are genuinely ourselves without façade or pretense or defensiveness, when we are revealed as human beings, when we are vulnerable.”

One session that I’ve conducted with many of the teams I work with is titled “Human Beings vs Human Doings.” While we spend the majority of our lives at work, we are usually relating to other people based on what they do (or are not doing) rather than who they are. Once we sit down and start learning about each other as Human Beings and what makes us tick, what experiences we’ve had that shape us and who are those individuals that have influenced us, everything that we do starts to make a lot more sense.

Leaders are not in control. Leaders help others learn, develop and grow into the people they want to be and are doing the same thing themselves. (click to Tweet)

Do you know who you want to be? Do you know who you are today. Or more importantly do you know who others assume you to be? If you’re in a position of leading people, they must know who you are and you must know who they are. Once you start building that foundation of trust, you’ll be able to get a lot of things done. Even though you’re not in control.

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Absurd!Blog In-Depth Book Reviews

Absurd!: Giving Up Management Techniques

by Ron Potter February 25, 2016

Chapter 4 is titled: “Once You Find a Management Technique that Works, Give it Up”.

Farson states “The most obvious reason is that any management technique loses its power when it becomes evident that it is a technique.”

Technique is not a bad thing in and of itself. One definition states “a skillful or efficient way of doing or achieving something.” We actually spend most of our lives and certainly most of our business lives figuring out skillful and efficient ways of doing things. And, for the most part, we get paid and promoted for getting even more skillful and efficient at doing things over time. But note that it’s about doing things.

You might remember from our last blog that we need to relate to each other as Human Beings, not Human Doings. Getting skillful and efficient at doing things is evaluated differently than being skillful and efficient at “doing” human beings. Human beings require empathy, trust and patience and that will vary with each person. Farson says “It is the ability to meet each situation armed not with a battery of techniques but with openness that permits a genuine response.” Genuine response is the key. People immediately notice if you’re using a technique on them vs being genuine. People know!

Reciprocity Rule. As stated by Farson:

One of the most useful ideas to remember is what we might call the “reciprocity rule” of human behavior: that over time, people come to share, reciprocally, similar attitudes toward each other.

That is, if I have a low opinion of you, then while you may for a time hold a high opinion of me, it is unlikely that your high opinion will persist. Eventually you will come to feel about me the way I feel about you.

We believe we can acquire techniques that will hide our true feelings about people and enable us to convey an image of ourselves which they will respect, even though we do not respect them. (Sounds like politicians to me)

Ultimately, people discover who we are and come to regard us as we regard them. If we genuinely respect our colleagues and employees, those feelings will be communicated without the need for artifice or technique. And they will be reciprocated.

Sounds a lot like something referred to as the Golden Rule. Do onto others…..

Being a leader is being genuine. There’s an old line that says “The key is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.” Guess what, you can’t fake it. If you want to lead people you must be genuine. You must look on them as human beings’ worthy of respect. It’s the only thing that creates leaders that people want to follow.

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Absurd!Blog In-Depth Book Reviews

Absurd!: Relationship Over Skill

by Ron Potter February 13, 2016

Chapter 3 is titled “The More Important a Relationship, the Less Skill Matters”.

I often start many of my team consulting assignments with a session called “Human Beings vs Human Doings.” The point is we do most of our relating to each other at work based on what we do or in some cases by what we are not doing. In either case we tend to relate to each other as Human Doings.

But we’re not human doings, we human beings! Who you are not what you do is what really makes the difference. I never know where these sessions will lead because it’s often one of the first things I do with a team and I haven’t had the opportunity to get to know them as individuals yet. But in every case some of the most profound stories about human lives have come out. There have been tears, roaring laughter, broken hearts and considerable pride as we listen to each other’s stories.

What strikes me is there are often certain story lines that seem to repeat themselves on certain teams. I remember one team several years ago where three of the team members had grown up in families with severely handicapped siblings. Even though they had worked with each other for a few years they didn’t know about the shared experiences. Even when there is complete dedication and love, families with handicapped children share a great deal of stress and pressure together. Knowing there were other members of the team that had shared similar experiences created a bond and a determination to help and support each other (all members, not just the ones with the handicapped siblings) that was far beyond anything that could have been created through your normal corporate team building exercises. We began to form true bonds. The more important the relationship, the less skill matters.

The author shares a couple of stories in the book when talking about what people remembered about their boss.

“They tended to be moments that the bosses were not likely to remember and would probably think were insignificant, yet often revealed something of their humanity.”

He also goes on to say “In both parenthood and management, it’s not so much what we do as what we are that counts.”

Have you established some real human bonds with your team? People want to know who you are, not just what you do. Being real human beings, not just corporate facades creates the bonds that we need to build real team, overcome the challenges of live and work, and allow for the patience that it takes to make mistakes and grow together.

Being genuine and being vulnerable are two of the phrases I’m hearing a lot lately in corporate consulting circles. Being genuine and vulnerable makes you real. People want to work with and for real people.

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Absurd!Blog In-Depth Book Reviews

Absurd!: Exploring Management of the Absurd

by Ron Potter February 4, 2016

I picked up small book off my bookshelf this week that is twenty years old. When I say it’s small I mean in size (small format and just 172 pages) not stature or content. It is a profound book and should not be forgotten. I don’t know if it every achieved numerical success but the forward was written by Michael Crichton (the late author who wrote books such as The Andromeda Strain, Jurassic Park and others). That should have gotten the attention of a lot of people.

The title of the book is Management of the Absurd: Pardoxes in Leadership by Richard Farson. You’ll find it on my Reading List but as I said, it’s twenty years old so you may not have spotted it. But this book is timeless.

Just look at a few of these chapter titles:

Nothing is as invisible as the Obvious
Effective Managers Are Not in Control
Most Problems That People Have are Not Problems
Technology Creates the Opposite of Its Intended Purpose

If you’re like me these titles grab you before you’ve read one word in the chapter. I wish I was as good at creating grabbing titles as this.

I haven’t done this before but I’m going to spend some time going through Management of the Absurd with you. I’ll capture a few thoughts and lines from various chapters and talk about the timeless nature of the principle. I believe you’ll begin to see that the truths that guide good management and leadership are ageless and should frequently remind us of the seemingly absurd nature of good leadership.

Chapter one is titled “The Opposite of a Profound Truth is Also True.” And in the first few paragraphs Farson reminds us that:

“We have been taught that a thing cannot be what it is and also its opposite.”

This belief that if my position or perspective is true than yours must be false leads to an incredible amount of conflict, strife and division within organizations.

F. Scott Fitzgearld reminds us:

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”

Now I think having a first-rate intelligence would be a great starting point for a good leader but notice that I don’t say a high IQ. There has never been any correlation found between IQ and success and one measure of a great leader is achieving success. So it’s not IQ, its intelligence. Don’t believe that the opposite of a profound truth, your truth, is not also true.

In his book The Primes, Chris McGoff points out that often when teams don’t seem to be able to reach a decision it’s because they are assuming they’re in a right vs wrong argument when in reality they’re in a right vs right argument. The opposite of a profound truth is also true. Great leaders realize that they are often choosing between right vs right, not right vs wrong. Assuming everything is a right vs wrong argument is childish. Great leaders are also mature.

Don’t let your leadership or management style look like it has the maturity of a teenager. Realize that even though you may hold the truth on a topic, others on your team also hold the truth. Bring all the truth’s out together and then decide which direction the team should take.

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