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The Decisions You Make Determine the Kind of Team You Are.

by Ron Potter

This is oversimplified, but you can boil the purpose of most teams down to:

  • Leadership Teams
  • Management Teams

Leadership teams provide vision and mission and deal with the difficult issue of dilemmas.  Management teams make the tough choices of executing the vision and mission in the most cost-effective manner.

If you’re not dealing with dilemmas, you’re not a leadership team

Most management teams are dealing with right vs wrong issues.  The answers may be difficult and the team may be divided, but in the end, they can be categorized as right vs wrong.

Dilemma issues are very different.  They deal with right vs right issues.  For instance, almost all leadership teams deal with short-term vs long-term.  Should they deal with both?  Yes.  But often, the resources needed to give both fronts adequate support are not available.   So they now face a dilemma.

  • Should they apply the available resources to deal with their short-term issues?  Yes!
  • Should they invest in the long-term success of the company?  Yes!
  • Are there enough resources to do both?  No!

They are now faced with a dilemma.  Both answers are yes; they just don’t have the resources to do both.  Which option do they invest in?

Horns of a Dilemma

The origin of the word dilemma is delaminated.   This refers to the horns of a bull that are laminated.   Thus, when you’re in a dilemma, you’re being forced to pick one horn or the other, knowing that you’re still going to get gored by the opposite horn.

If you decide to put your available resources toward fixing and supporting the short-term, the long-term issues are going to gore you.  Or visa versa.

The issue for leadership teams is to be transparent about their decisions and document, document, document.   It’s all too easy for someone to second guess the team’s decision when the other option is goring them.

When dilemmas are not being handled in a completely transparent way or there is inadequate documentation, someone will be thinking or saying, “The Leadership Team should have seen this coming and given it the adequate resources to prevent this mess (being gored).”  The truth is that they did, but they were faced with right vs right choices and those issues are much more challenging than right vs wrong issues.

If your leadership team is not dealing with right vs right issues, they’re a management team!

Personal Dilemma

I am currently facing a genuine personal dilemma.  I have a liver disease called NASH.  The first two letters stand for non-alcoholic.  My liver scars over as if I’ve been a heavy drinker all my life and begins to shut down even though I don’t drink any alcohol.

Trying to understand the issues I face as my liver continues to fail, I’ve spoken with two heart transplant surgeons that I know.  Even though they are separated by geography, they both gave me the same answer.  I’ll have to choose between a liver transplant or continue to treat and deal with the symptoms of a failing liver.  But they both said there is no right answer.  Either way will produce difficult issues that I’ll have to face and deal with the best I can.  But while there is no right answer, they both advised me that I must come to peace with the direction I choose.

At that point, it hit me.  I’m dealing with a very real, very impactful, very difficult decision.  I’m facing a dilemma.  And the only advice the surgeons could offer me was to be at peace with the decision that I make.

Leadership Teams

Leadership Teams face the same issue.  They must reach a certain level of peace with their decision, knowing full well that at some point they’re going to get gored by the other option.

This is a very difficult task.  It’s difficult to deal with it on a personal level.  It’s maybe even more difficult to deal with it on a team level.  Getting the entire team to be at peace with the decision takes a great deal of patience, openness, confidence, and trust.

It’s hard work!  But it’s the only way that Leadership Teams fulfill their mission of guiding the company through dilemmas.

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BlogLeadership

Your Title Doesn’t Make You a Leader

by Ron Potter

This comes from an article in INC magazine with that same title.

In that article, they list a couple of issues that do make you a leader.

  • “From Intimacy comes ‘Into-Me-See'”
  • “Forget your Title and Be Yourself”

From Intimacy Comes “Into-Me-See”

I’m not sure if I’ll ever remember the “Into-Me-See” when I see the word Intimacy but the point is very clear.

I’ve written many times how important it is to develop trusting relationships with your team.  The manager who says “I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to get the best productivity” doesn’t ever quite realize that the best productivity only happens when people are treated like people and not wholly about what they can accomplish.

This usually breaks down with the manager blaming others for not meeting deadlines, not tackling the issue with enthusiasm, or even being too stupid to get the task done.  They never realize that the task doesn’t meet expectations because people don’t feel valued and connected.

In the article Brene Brown says,

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” 

Sustenance and strength from the relationship!  Without building trusting relationships, that sustenance and strength doesn’t exist.

I recently wrote a blog about the Neuroscience of Trust.  Building relationships releases Oxytocin which promotes trust.  In the Inc. article the “into-me-see” statement is explained,

“With intimacy, we mean ‘into-me-see’:  it means that you are seeing the other person, the other human being at the other side of the table with whom you are having a discussion.  Only when someone feels seen, heard, and valued will then listen to what you have to say and, as appropriate, follow your leadership.”

See into other people.  Let them know that you know who they are, not just what they do.  You will build the trust needed to be a great leader.

Forget your Title and Be Yourself

Charlie Munger, partner of Berkshire Hathaway recently said, “It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent.”

Somehow with new titles comes this concept that we must be smarter than we are or at least smarter than those around us.  That’s stupid.  Charlie says, trying to be consistently not stupid results in long-term advantages.

I’ve coached a few people lately who are taking on a new job and feeling they weren’t quite smart enough for the new role.  I tried to help them understand that everything they needed was already inside them.   They should just be who they are!  They already have what it takes to be great at the new jobs.  They don’t need to be something more! They don’t need to be smarter!  In fact, trying to be smarter only creates obstacles and doubt that keep them from being the best.

Just be yourself.

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BlogLeadership

Disagree without Anger

by Ron Potter

“Just because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I hate you. We need to relearn that in our society.” – Morgan Freeman

Why are good friends able to disagree without getting angry?  They spent time getting to know each other first.

First Rate Stupidity

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”  F. Scott Fitzgerald.

You’ve seen me use this quote several times but always with the focus on the positive results of being able to hold opposing ideas at the same time.

Let me reverse that for this blog:

“First-rate stupidity is holding on to a single idea or philosophy without allowing others to share their point of view that may be different from your own.”

It’s OK to Disagree

I believe this is what Morgan Freeman was referring to when he said that it’s OK to disagree without hating each other.  I’m afraid that our society has fallen into this trap of not allowing different points of view to penetrate our own belief system.  I’m sure there are several reasons for this, including social media, politics, news media.  I get very concerned when we begin to understand how some large tech firms send us to websites and posts they believe fit our profile and seldom show us the opposing view.  This is not healthy!

Listen to all points of view

Years ago I was working with a CEO who believed that he listened to everyone on his team equally so that it encouraged all points of view.  As I watched him work with his team for the first time I saw him put this philosophy into practice.  He did indeed ask every individual on his team to give their input on certain topics so that they could see all points of view.  However, I began to observe an interesting pattern in his questioning.

If someone on his team put out a point of view that didn’t agree with his thinking, he very sincerely thanked them for the input with no further comment.  He would then move onto the next person on the team and ask for their viewpoint.  If that team member seemed to voice a point of view that agreed with the CEO’s thinking he would also sincerely thank them for their input but would then reinforce their thinking because that was what he believed as well.  When he was finished asking for input from each team member, it was clear to me and clear to the team which point of view he agreed with and which one he didn’t.

The team had gotten used to this “vetting ” of ideas and the ones who disagreed with the CEO simply went silent about their point of view and moved forward with the team in an effort to execute the CEO’s point of view as successfully as possible.  Not the best use of team diversity.

Trusted Feedback

When the CEO and I were alone, I pointed out my observation.  He was appalled at his own behavior.  He really didn’t intend to shut off different points of view and didn’t realize that his behavior was doing exactly that.  I’ve mentioned many times in previous blogs that I’ve met few leaders who didn’t have the best intentions.  However, their behavior didn’t match those intents.

This is why feedback in the moment is so important.  It can come from a coach like myself but we aren’t there on a regular and consistent basis.  Everyone must cultivate trusted relationships they depend on to give them straight feedback in the moment that doesn’t really match their intent.

Take stock

How many of those relationships do you actually have?  If you honestly believe you have many, good for you!  It will make you a better leader and team member in the long run.  If you have difficulty thinking of anyone who actually fills that role for you or if you’re concerned that the feedback they give you is intended to protect themselves or make you feel better about your behavior, watch out.  You haven’t developed the kind of trusting relationships you need to be successful and satisfied in life.

 

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BlogLeadership

Honored and Humbled

by Ron Potter

This blog is personal.

Alumni of the year

I was recently honored as the Alumni of the year from my high school.  I was very honored and humbled.  The upbringing I had as a child doesn’t seem to be available to many people anymore.  I was raised in a small rural Michigan town that was very stable.  Many of my friends I knew all the way from kindergarten to high school graduation.  Some of them I knew even before we started school.

One of those friends and I have occasionally wondered about what was it about our environment and upbringing that allowed us to work comfortably all over the country and world.  This award forced me to get my thoughts down on paper as an answer to that question

God, Family, Friends, Mentors

As I began to collect and record my thoughts, I focused on these four elements that had made difference for me that carried me through a lifetime.

God

One summer I was attending a Christian Camp run by Bill Glass.  At the time, Bill Glass was the defensive end for the Cleveland Browns.  He was big and powerful, a man’s man, and had everything he needed to be a self-reliant individual.  However, that week he spoke often about his total dependence on Christ being his Lord and Savior and that he would be nothing without him.  His message began to sink in with me and by the end of the week, I had also accepted Christ as Savior.

On the last night of the camp, there was a great deal of singing and asking people to come forward to either declare their decisions or acknowledge that they needed to make a decision.  I was in a row of about a dozen guys, standing third from the isle.

I knew I had to go forward to declare my decision but as a 14-year-old boy was struggling with the issue.  Pretty soon the two guys closest to the aisle went down front.  The guy to my right began nudging me saying that I needed to go down front.  I kept saying that I knew I did but just needed a minute.

Finally, after one more nudge, I turned to him to tell him I knew that I did but when I turned to face him, the entire row was empty.  I was the only one in the aisle!  I knew right then that it wasn’t a human that was nudging me and I immediately went down front.  After that my local church began to nurture me, learning more about the Lord as I grew.

Family

At the banquet were all of my siblings, one of my daughters from Tunisia (the other one was at a wedding in Colorado), and many nieces and nephews.  As I looked and talked with each of them it was amazing that they all knew the Lord and were growing in him.  I know that many families have difficulties and we have our share as well, but because we all know the Lord, we stay close and appreciate each other.

Friends

As I said earlier, many of my friends from high school have been my friends for my entire life.  We remain amazingly close and although jobs and family took us in different directions, we still get together as often as we can.  I cherish those moments and feel very blessed and loved by them.  It gives me great strength.

Mentors

This one was difficult because there were so many.  However, I narrowed it down to two because of time.  The first one I identified was my father.  I’m not sure he would have considered himself a mentor but he was to me.  He had lost a leg in WWII that made his life very difficult but he never let it stop him.  He started his own business that required a lot of physical effort, built his (and our) home, and raised a great family.  And never once did I hear him complain!

And although he only had a high school education, he was a non-stop reader and learner.  I would come home from Engineering School with a new concept I had just learned and couldn’t wait to share with him.  But as soon as I did I would find out that he had been reading about the same concept and knew more about it than I did.  I never could get ahead of him.  The most cherished possession that I inherited was his dictionary.  It is 8 x 10 in size and 8 inches thick.  8 inches thick!  A dictionary.

The other mentor that came to mind for me was my high school physics teacher.  There were many times when I thought he was picking on me.  He would say “Potter, what’s the answer?” or “Potter, come to the board and show us how to solve this.”  It just didn’t seem fair to me.  Then one day I ran into him in a back hallway of our school and felt emboldened to confront him.  When I asked why he seemed to be picking on me his answer was “Because you’re worth it!”  He was the only high school teacher I went to visit after graduating from Engineer School.

God, Family, Friend, Mentors

As much as you might like to be, you will never be God.

Other than spouses, you can’t pick who your family will be.

That leaves friends and mentors.  Cultivate friends that will tell you the truth no matter how painful that will be.  Be that kind of friend to them.

Seek out mentors who will help you grow and develop.  And be one yourself.  Maybe it’s a friend you can mentor.  Maybe it’s someone who you believe has great potential that could use your experience and care.  Maybe it’s a grandchild.  They look up to their grandparents whether they express it or not. Let someone else know they’re worth it!

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BlogLeadership

Entitled Anger

by Ron Potter

“What we know is that entitlement is correlated with anger, meaning the more entitled you are the angrier you get,” said Ryan Martin, the author of Why We Get Mad: How to Use Your Anger for Positive Change.

Entitled

What does it mean to be entitled?  A dictionary definition is:

believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment
Italics are mine.

Believing oneself!  Yes, it can come from your position in the pecking order but the definition says that you believe you’re entitled and deserve special treatment.

Leadership and Entitlement

I’ll remind my readers that the number one attitude of a great leader is humbleness.  I would say that being humble is the opposite of feeling entitled.

We’ve all run into the entitled leader.  Actually, they are not leaders, they’ve simply obtained a position of leadership.  But they believe that because they have become a VP or general manager, they’re entitled to special treatment and feel no hesitancy to use a command and control style.

Anger

Anger can be real and justified at times.  Even Jesus displayed anger at the money changers that were taking advantage of the poor.

The money changers were taking advantage of those who visited the temple.  This made Jesus angry and he said “My house shall be called the house of prayer”.

Anger can be justified but be very, very careful of your motives.

On a Clear Day You Can See General Motors

Patrick J. Wright is the author of On a Clear Day You Can See General Motors, an account of John De Lorean’s departure from General Motors. (The account is written without De Lorean’s cooperation.)

De Lorean left General Motors to start his own company, Delorean Motor Company (DMC).  If you’re a fan of “Back to the Future” you’ll remember the DMC used by “Doc” to go back in time.

There was one very telling section in that book that described the destructive nature of entitlement.

GM executives arrived at work each morning and their company valet service would pick up their car, take it to the shop, fix any squeaks, rattles, or other issues.  The car was then washed and cleaned inside and out and returned to the executive for their drive home.

Based on these executives’ experience, GM was making some of the finest cars in the world.  But the general public had a different experience.  To them, GM was producing some of the worst cars in the industry.  The executives didn’t understand.  Sometimes they even got angry at the public for thinking that way.  Their anger was based on entitlement!

Do you feel entitled?

That feeling or belief will get you nowhere.  In fact, it will be destructive to you and others.

It can be difficult to see our own entitlement.  You must develop good friends that are not afraid to tell you if you are acting that way.  You must develop a great team that can talk about anything, even your behavior, without fear of reprisal.  Entitlement will destroy you!  Do whatever you can to keep it from creeping into your life.

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BlogLeadership

Leaders Don’t Lack Curiosity

by Ron Potter

“Journalists were once marked by their curiosity. Now the only thing that’s curious about many of them is their lack of curiosity when a story doesn’t fit their priors.”

That is an interesting statement by Gerard Baker in the Wall Street Journal

Change in Journalistic Standards

I once read that there was a change in our journalistic schools during the Watergate Break-in when Woodward and Bernstein worked with their secretive informant that became known as Deep Throat.   Their reporting eventually led to Richard Nixon’s resignation from the presidency.

The change at the journalism schools was described as a move from reporting the news to making the news.  The students now felt they could become the newsmakers rather than just reporters.  I believe this eventually led to Mr. Baker’s statement in the WSJ that journalists were no longer curious if the story didn’t fit their priors.

The definition in Webster’s dictionary for the word prior is: taking precedence (as in importance).  This means that a journalist’s prior belief of what is right or wrong or if it is the right agenda takes precedence over being curious.

Being curious used to be what was important to report the news.

Leadership Priors

Leaders have priors.  There are things they believe about leadership, their corporate mission, the marketplace, and many other spaces.  However, knowing that you have those beliefs and still keeping an open mind, curious about what others think or believe is the hallmark of great leadership.

Scott Fitzgerald is quoted as saying: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”   Leaders should possess first-rate intelligence.  That means that opposing thoughts may both be valid.

I believe the best leaders and leadership teams should constantly be dealing with the dilemmas they face.  As Fitzgerald says, that first-rate mind still retains the ability to function.

With dilemmas, there are no right and wrong answers.  That’s what managers are dealing with.  Leaders should be dealing with dilemmas where both answers are equally good or bad, right or wrong.  “Being on the horns of a dilemma” means that you’re going to get gored either way.  You’re just picking the horn that will or won’t gore you.

Leaders retain the ability to function even when faced with dilemmas!

Beliefs and Convictions

Our current society tries to lump us together in certain categories.  While some of us may have very similar backgrounds, we each have a different set of beliefs and convictions.

I often ran an exercise with the teams I was working with that I called “Human Beings, not Human Doings.”  At work, we’re often thought of by what we do.  But if we leave our understanding strictly on what they do, not who they are, it leads to many of the conflicts and bad feelings that can happen in the workplace.

One of the topics I’ll use in the exercise is to ask “what person and/or event has shaped who you are today?”

I grew up in a very small, homogenous, rural community in southern Michigan.  On the surface, it looks like all of my classmates came from the same mold.  But we have each been shaped by different people and events.

For instance, I grew up with a father that had lost a leg during WWII.  Of all my classmates, I was the only one with a father who only had one leg.  His hard work, entrepreneurial spirit, and no complaining attitude shaped me.  I had much less patience for consulting clients who tended to whine and complain and shift the blame for their own behavior.

Because of my father, my belief was that you worked hard, did your best, and took responsibility.  I had a different experience than all my “homogenous” classmates.  And they had different experiences than I did.  We must get to know the human being, behind what they do for a living.

We are Each Unique

It’s been said that no two snowflakes are alike.  I believe that about humans as well.  As my brother and sisters and I have talked during our adult years, it’s obvious that each of them is unique and different from each other.  And yet we grew up in the same house in the same small town with exactly the same two parents.

Get to know the human beings on your team.  It will add a great deal of understanding and closeness that is needed to build great teams.

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BlogLeadership

7% Increase in Shareholder Returns

by Ron Potter

Did that title capture your attention?   What company today wouldn’t like to provide that kind of increase to their shareholders?

185 CEO’s

A research paper looked at 185 CEO’s and the performance of their companies in the S&P 500 between 2000 and 2013.  The conclusion was that the more humble leaders produced 7% higher value to their shareholders.  The paper used modesty, fairness, and sincerity to measure their “humbleness”  Let’s take a look at these three characteristics.

Modesty

A dictionary definition says “the quality of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one’s abilities.”

Unassuming.  There are several areas where a person can be unassuming or assuming.  Any of them can be good or bad.  One statement I like comes from Jordan Peterson in his book, 12 Rules of Life.  Rule number 9 says “Assume That The Person You Are Listening To Might Know Something You Don’t.”  That’s a good thing to assume and it makes you unassuming.  When leaders make this assumption about their team, it’s inspiring and leads to great conversations about the business.

Moderate about one’s abilities.  I think the word moderate is key.  Not too high, not too low.  It’s interesting to me that team members often prefer to work for a boss that they consider above average or even higher.  It only becomes an issue if the boss starts believing her own press and assuming she knows more than everybody else on the team.  Remember Jordan Petersons rule number 9.  As long as the leader remains unassuming, the team loves a strong, knowledgeable leader.

Trust Me

In my book, Trust Me: Developing a Leadership Style that People Will Follow, the number one characteristic is Humility.  The word has lost its original definition over time.  The early definition was “tremendous strength under complete control.”  As I mentioned earlier, people like leaders who have great strength and ability but are modest or humble at the same time.  That’s the winning combination.

Many leaders exhibit power and strength in their roles.  They may get things done but they don’t build great teams and they don’t develop shareholder value.

Be a humble leader.  The rewards are high and the relationships you develop will be tremendously valuable over time.

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BlogLeadership

The World’s Top Executive Coach?

by Ron Potter

I spent much of my career being an executive coach, so I was very interested to see who the Wall Street Journal had named the World’s Top Executive Coach.

So who did the Wall Street Journal identify?  Queen Elizabeth!

My wife and I have been big fans of the TV drama The Crown.  Several times in the series The Queen met with the then-current Prime Minister.   Her very first such meeting was with Winston Churchill in 1952 when she was 26 years old.  That sounds like a pretty intimating start to me!

Giving Orders

British law forbids the queen from giving orders or publicly taking sides on matters of state. Her only constitutional right is to be kept informed.  However, she is free to ask questions and offer her point of view.  It’s amazing how powerful genuine questions can be.

As Britain’s longest-serving monarch, Queen Elizabeth views herself as an impartial advocate for the people. But her primary motive, it seems, is to be helpful. She often ministers to her ministers.

Broader Perspective

The article says that “One of her greatest assets is an unrivaled wealth of historical perspective.  I have found this broader perspective to be useful in many settings.  Sometimes I will hear my grandchildren (becoming young adults now) say things because they’ve heard some of our misguided public officials say so.  I’m sure I sound like an old man to them much of the time but I simply try to help them see a subject from a much broader perspective.  Even if I restrict that perspective to my own lifetime, it covers over 50 years more than theirs.  I watched socialism form, turn to dictatorships, and collapse.  They have none of that experience when they seem to talk fondly of a more socialistic government.

Safe and Secure Place to Talk

The article talks about how The Queen gives the prime ministers a safe place to speak openly without fear of reprisal.

I used to meet with one CEO an afternoon every month.  I would show up after lunch and we would talk about anything on his mind sometimes running well past the 5:00 quitting time.  Leaving the meeting late one evening his personal assistant asked me (a little too seriously I might add) if I was selling drugs.  My response was of course not but why would she ask me such a thing.  She said that the CEO never gave anyone more than an hour of his calendar.  I would show up and we would spend several hours talking and laughing.

The Queen also provides prime ministers with something few world leaders ever get— a safe place to speak openly without fear of reprisal.

Queen Elizabeth’s role isn’t vastly different from that of a traditional executive coach. Most business leaders who employ coaches tend to swear by them. One recent study found that 71% believed coaching improved the performance of their companies, while 69% reported making better decisions.

Truly great coaches are a rare breed. It’s hard to find someone who possesses both vast experience and a keen sense of the present. But Queen Elizabeth’s approach to the job suggests that great coaches need something else, too— a deep reservoir of restraint.

Most great mentors will often have a better grasp on a tricky situation than the person they’re advising. But they’ll resist the urge to be a helicopter coach. The only way to help leaders learn and grow is to allow them to make their own mistakes.
The only responsible method is to let them speak openly, guard their secrets and, once in a while, try to redirect their thinking incrementally. Doing that requires humility—and lots of practice.

Good at powerful questions

This is something everyone should understand.  If you look at that heading again you’ll notice that coaches (I suggest this applies to everyone though) are good at using powerful questions.  If said another way, good questions are powerful!

One source you can turn to is the book A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger.  The subtitle is “The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas.”  In his book, Berger refers to a recent research study of thousands of top business executives which found that the most creative, successful business leaders have tended to be expert questioners.

Berger is a source I’ve mentioned many times in this blog.  Listen with the intent to understand, don’t listen with the intent to respond.  Also in his book, Berger says “throughout his life Einstein saw curiosity as something holy.  To see curiosity as holy, you must ask questions with the intent to understand.  Be Curious!

Leaders and Coaches

I don’t care if you’re a leader, a team member, or a coach.  Being good at any role requires—

  • A broad perspective
  • The integrity required to make conversations safe and secure
  • The curiosity to listen and learn.

 

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BlogLeadership

Is it a Wonderful Life?

by Ron Potter

From the movie “It’s a wonderful life” George Bailey and his angel, Clarence.

Clarence was a wonderful gift for George.  Unlike us, Clarence was able to show George what life would have been like if he had never been born.

What did George learn from that experience?

Background

Let’s take a minute to remember the overall storyline.  Many of us have seen the movie at Christmas time through the years.

In the movie, George has a great yearning to travel and see the world.  Right after he is married and on his way for their first adventure with his new wife, the stock market crashes.  George worked for his father’s local building-and-loan business.  When it was obvious that something was wrong, George abandoned his trip and went into the building-and-loan to help with the chaos.  Pretty soon, George found himself stuck in the life he wanted to get away from.

Something Just Crashed and Went Wrong

Not only are we facing the changing world of Covid, as I wrote about last week, but the United States suffered the weakest growth for the ten years following the 2008 crash and recession.  It seemed that we were being told by our own government “get used to it, this is the new normal”.  I found myself getting depressed and worried over that attitude.

I also find myself even more worried today as I watch my grandchildren (ages 13-20) face this very scary new norm.  One article I read said, “many young people have lost hope seeing their labor produce so little reward”.  I consider myself very blessed in that all of my grandchildren have a good work ethic.  I even mentioned to one granddaughter that I lose track that she’s only a junior (now senior) in high school because she works so hard.   She seems all grown up going to school and working most afternoons and evenings.

And yet I hear her and some of her cousins speaking fondly of socialism.  But as one article said, “when the rewards for working and sweating end, prosperity withers and freedom dies”.

The Gift of Clarence

In the movie, George is actually able to meet his angel …it’s a movie.  It doesn’t fit with my Christian beliefs 😉 and this pays off in a wonderful reward.  George is thinking he would be better off if he had never been born.  Clarence allows George to see the world as if he had never existed.  George sees a very dismal world because he was not in it working hard, caring, helping, and loving.

Be a Clarence

Be a friend.  Be a mentor.  Be a parent.  Be a grandparent.  Help others —young people, children, and grandchildren see and experience A Wonderful Life.  It may not seem like they’re listening at the time but you would be amazed how much it sticks with them.  I remember mentors from decades ago.  I still remember their words, the circumstances of the situation, and the fact that they cared enough to share with me.  I may not have told them how much it meant but their words still stick with me today.

Be a mentor.  Share with someone.  Take time to talk with someone.  You may not be immediately rewarded but the lessons and wisdom you pass on will pay rewards for years to come

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BlogLeadership

Elements of Trust

by Ron Potter

In the Harvard Business Review was the following article:

The 3 Elements of Trust by Jack Zengar and Joseph Folkman.

Three Elements of Trust

I think Zenger and Folkman are right on when they identify

Positive Relationships
    • Stay in touch on the issues and concerns of others
    • Balance results with concern for others.
    • Generate cooperation between others.
    • Resolve conflict with others.
    • Give honest feedback in a helpful way.
Good Judgement/Expertise
    • They use good judgment when making decisions.
    • Others trust their ideas and opinions.
    • They can anticipate and respond quickly to problems.
Consistency
    • Are a role model and set a good example.
    • Walk the talk.
    • Honor commitments and keep promises.
    • Follow through on commitments.
    • Are willing to go above and beyond what needs to be done.

Let’s unpack each one of those.

Positive Relationships

Of the five points that Zenger and Folkman make, the three I would pick as the most powerful would include, concern for others, resolving conflict, and giving honest feedback.

Concern for Others

Human beings have an amazing ability to determine if someone really cares for them or is just using them to accomplish a task.  Don’t kid yourself, you can’t fake this one.  If you don’t truly care for the other person, they will do what they are told because of your position but nothing more.  To build winning teams, you need more.  You need people’s energy, creativity, and cooperation.

Resolving Conflict

Resolving conflict relies on good listening.  I identify this skill as

Listening with the intent to respond vs Listening with the intent to understand

It takes a great deal of energy to listen with the intent to understand.  First, you must suspend what you “know”.  People know when you’re just lining up your points to make as soon as you see an opening in the conversation.  It’s even worse if you create that opening by interrupting with your points to counter their points.  They know you’re not trying to understand them.

There is a great deal of talk about diversity these days.  Listening with the intent to understand and teaching others to do the same, actually takes advantage of the diversity.  It’s not about our origins, race, gender, or whatever is being thrown into that diversity bucket these days, it’s about understanding.  The diversity identities being tossed around today don’t mean anything if we’re not listening to understand.  Individuals will have very different belief systems, even if they’re part of the same category of people.

Good Judgement/Expertise

The biggest issue to watch out for in this category is what Robert Quinn in his book “Deep Change” identifies as the “Tyranny of Competence”.  Some of my more difficult consulting and coaching times occurred when I had to convince and then help leaders dismiss people who fell into this category.  The first word in this title is “tyranny”.  People who fall into this category are incredibly competent and knowledgeable in their subject matter.  However, they use that competence as an excuse for not developing good relationships.  Every time the person who lives by the Tyranny of Competence is asked to leave, I’ve observed teams blossom into highly effective teams based on trust.

Zenger and Folkman put three elements in this category: Good judgment, trust of others, and they respond quickly.  I believe the middle point of the three —”Others trust their ideas and opinions”—is the hinge that makes the other two work.  One reason that the trusts exist is that there has been listening with the intent to understand.  I can’t emphasize enough how much this element builds trust.  Because good leaders have listened well and built trust, they tend to have good judgment and can respond quickly to threats.

Consistency

I believe consistency requires Integrity.  Integrity comes from the Latin word “integer”— meaning whole or complete.  Integrity means that you are the same person regardless of the circumstances or the people present.  It has a foundation of honesty and character.  Are you a person of integrity?  Are you always the same person?  When you have integrity and are consistent, it builds trust.

Elements of Trust

Evaluate yourself.  Get feedback from others.

  • Do you develop positive relationships?
  • Do you exhibit sound judgment?
  • Are you consistent and would people say you are a person of integrity?

Regardless of the environment, be it leader, team member, family member, or citizen, nothing will carry you farther than developing trust.

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BlogLeadership

PREgret

by Ron Potter

Years ago I was thinking about the regrets in my life.  I was asking myself if there were things I should have or could have done to eliminate or reduce the number of regrets.  As I was thinking about the topic, I notice a familiar pain in my sternum.  I began to realize that I had a physical manifestation when I regretted something I had said or done.  I began to ask people I knew where their regret pain manifested itself.

Where is the pain?

Everyone seemed to have a different answer.  I heard locations like:

  • Neck
  • Shoulders
  • Forehead
  • The base of the skull
  • Forearms
  • etc.

The answers were many and varied, but the pain was a given.  No one questioned the pain itself, they just had different answers of where it was located.

“Listen” to the pain

If the pain always shows up somewhere,  become familiar with it.  The pain can and will become very familiar.  If the pain is present and identifiable, you will “know” you are in one of those moments that will result in regret.  Here’s the key, “will result in regret”.

Regret Pre-Indicator

Through experience, I began to learn that the pain was a precursor of regretful actions.  I eventually read some science about how these neurotransmitters work and indeed, there is an early warning system.  That means that the pain you become familiar with is actually a precursor to the thing you’re about to do or say will cause regret— PREgret!

I don’t know if this is a good thing or bad thing but I have become so aware of my “regret pain” that it often triggers a debate in my head:

You’re about to say something that you’re going to regret.

I know, but I think it needs to be said.

But you will regret it!  Maybe you should just back off a minute.

But it needs to be said.  I’m going to say it anyway.

REGRET

Where does it hurt?

Become familiar with your “regret” pain.  If you tune into it, you’ll have a lot fewer regrets in life.

 

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BlogLeadership

Are You the Person You Mean To Be?

by Ron Potter

I have worked with hundreds of leaders through the years.  My experience and belief is that none of them had bad intentions.

360 Feedback

I’ve used several well-regarded instruments for collecting and analyzing feedback from the people they work with.  Typically the assessments include surveys of:

  • Self
  • Direct Reports
  • Peers
  • Boss

This gives us a full “360” view of their style.

Self Assessment

Each of the four assessments can be categorized into three general areas:

  • Very high overall assessment
  • Neutral or “middle of the road” assessment
  • Very low or undervalued assessment
High self-assessment

When the self-assessment is very high, I find that it is driven by ego and lack of self-awareness.  Large egos are often driven by fear of failure, low self-assessment, or very low self-awareness.  I have found that this low self-awareness happens because they believe their intentions and actions are at the highest level.  They only want the best for others, the project, or the team.

Neutral self-assessment

This “middle of the road” assessment is often driven by a belief that they have very good intentions but they aren’t the “smartest person in the room” and they are very open to others’ ideas and constantly striving for unity based on respect.

Low self-assessment

This one may actually concern me the most.  It is often driven by low self-respect and low self-esteem and is the toughest issue to deal with.  It is often driven by long-standing, historical issues of neglect, abuse, and lack of self-worth.  These are psychological issues that I believe are beyond a business consultant.

Direct Report Assessments

Direct Reports can also fall into the three general areas of high, neutral, and low.  While the self-assessment is driven mostly by intentions, the Direct Reports often assess actions.  The comparison of self- and direct reports will often be the clearest indicator of Intentions vs Actions.

Peer Assessments

While most leaders will work hard at being a good leader to their team (either intentionally or in action) they don’t feel the same need to be a good team member.  They can believe that peers should know their job and do their job.  It’s not their job as a team member to help and direct them but only to praise or criticize.

Boss Assessment

Often people are described as “managing up well.”  This means they will always attempt to look good in front of the boss and always do what is being asked.  Sometimes they’re referred to as “yes men”.  Having a good score from the boss is not a bad thing.  In fact, it’s a good thing.  But only if there are also good scores from peers and direct reports.

Feedback

The point of these exercises is to know if our actions are matching our intentions.  I said at the beginning of this blog that I don’t believe leaders have bad intentions.  However, even with good intentions, I’ve worked with several leaders who have bad actions that don’t align with those good intentions.

Work hard at getting accurate feedback.  This can be done with formal assessments like we just discussed.  Or better yet, if the people around you feel comfortable giving you straight feedback.  You’ll become a better leader and team member if you respect and appreciate the feedback you’re getting.

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