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Ron Potter

Ron Potter

BlogLeadership

Being Smart vs Not Being Stupid

by Ron Potter October 28, 2021

It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten

by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent.

– Charlie Munger, Berkshire Hathaway.

Most of us would consider Charlie and his partner, Warren Buffet, as being really intelligent.  And yet, here he is saying it’s more advantageous to be consistently not stupid.

Let’s examine those two words—intelligent and stupid.

Intelligent

One definition is “having or showing intelligence, especially of a high level.” (Italics is mine.)

I believe it’s one thing to be intelligent but a very different thing to show intelligence.  We’ve all seen or even commented on the person who is highly intelligent but seems to have no “common sense”.  It’s one thing to be very intelligent about a specific issue but in general, not understanding how the world works as a whole (common sense).

It took me too long to figure this one out.  As a youngster in high school, I was often reminded how intelligent I was.  I just seemed to “get things” like math and physics (not so much chemistry though…) and I had a great curiosity for geography and history.  These were subjects that just came to me.

I wasn’t trying to be the top student but I found I could get acceptable grades just by being smart.

Upon entering Engineering School things were a bit more difficult but once again, I just seemed to get most of the topics without a great deal of effort.  I found I could be one of the fastest at calculations.  I could often just see things and come up with the right answer in my head.  Once again, being highly intelligent seemed to be all I needed.

It wasn’t until I began my career as a leadership and team consultant and coach that I began to realize that being right wasn’t the best approach.  If I acted too smart, there was always someone there to shoot me down at the first opportunity.  My intelligence was not going to help me be a good coach and consultant.

I remember working with one team of a very large corporation that seemed to be stuck.  One of the youngest members of the team asked for some personal time with me.  His first question was “You see what’s going on don’t you?”  My answer was yes.  With that, he then asked, “Are you going to get in there and tell them what they’re doing wrong?”  My answer was no.  He seemed astonished.  Why would I not tell them exactly what I was seeing in order to correct it?  I explained to him that I can’t teach anyone anything, the only thing I can do was to help them learn.

I had learned that being right carried no weight at all.  Helping them learn at their own pace was the only thing that worked regardless of what I was seeing.

Stupid

Stupid is as stupid does.

– Forest Gump.

Don’t confuse stupid with ignorance.  Ignorance means “lack of knowledge or information.”  Ignorance is simply a lack of knowledge.  Stupid has full knowledge—you just ‘know better’.

Maybe one of the best ways to look at the word stupid is by examining its antonyms.  These antonyms include brainy, bright, clever, fast, nimble, quick, quick-witted.  Remember that these are antonyms.

That means stupid is not:

  • brainy
  • bright
  • clever
  • fast
  • nimble
  • quick
  • quick-witted

Remember that Charlie says the advantage comes by not being stupid.

Don’t be brainy, bright, or clever.  All of these signal that you’re smarter than everyone else.

Don’t be fast or nimble.  The means you reach your conclusions quickly.  You’re not listening well and trying to absorb what’s being explained.

Don’t be quick or quick-witted.  Quick-witted means coming to quick, humorous conclusions.  This can often mean that you’re covering up your own stupidity by offering a humous statement— that covers up your lack of understanding.

Consistently not Stupid

Charlie says they try to be consistently not stupid.  This means it takes a great deal of effort to continually act in a non-stupid way. 

I believe the key to being consistently ‘not stupid’ is to be consistently humble.

It takes a great deal of effort to overcome our natural desire to be the best.  But being the best doesn’t mean having the answer first and always being right.  Being the best means sharing your opinions when it makes sense and always realizing that they are only your opinions.

Fully respecting others and their opinions makes you the best and goes a long ways toward not being stupid.

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Enjoy the Journey

by Ron Potter October 21, 2021

Shane Parrish, my favorite blogger, offered the following quote—

“Become addicted to the process and results will follow. “

I believe many of us who are used to charging ahead and getting things done have a hard time coming to grips with this quote.  It just seems like we should be focused on the outcome and the results more than the process.

Simone Biles

Simone is considered the best gymnast of all time.  She has had four gymnastics elements named after her — one on beam, one on vault, two on floor.  She seems to be able to locate herself in space, regardless of what her logical brain is trying to tell her.  When she is high in space over that beam, her mind is able to locate herself and her body in relationship with the beam or the floor.  There is nothing quite like her ability to do so.

So when she pulled out of the Tokyo Olympics, everyone was baffled.  Why would she do such a thing?  One of her own explanations likened it to being blind all of a sudden but with everyone expecting you to continue to perform your regular job.  But I was blind!

Her quote that caught my attention was “The outpouring of love and support I’ve received has made me realize that I’m more than my accomplishments in gymnastics which I never truly believed before.”  Italics are mine.

The point is she never realized that her self-worth was more than what she could and had accomplished as a gymnast!

More Than Your Accomplishments

This is the heart of the issue that most high achievers deal with.  They (we) assume that our self-worth is dependent on a high level of accomplishment. 

This is a dangerous tightrope.

Just like Simone, her original feeling of not being able to compete at that high level equaled failure.  Her quote above about being more than her accomplishments shows that she was dealing well with what originally felt like a failure.

What Keeps You Up At Night?

Is it a task or accomplishment?  Are you thinking about everything that has to be done but you haven’t accomplished?  Is it thinking about what you have to “do” first thing in the morning (Saturday and Sunday included)?  Does it feel like you have to instantly respond to emails or texts 24/7 because something might need to be done?  Have tasks and the need to accomplish them taken over your life?

When I was first going into the consulting world 30+ years ago, I had an interview with the head of the Detroit office of one of the large consulting firms.  As I talked with the general manager he asked me, “If I need you and I call you to immediately come to the office, but you’re at your son’s birthday party, will you be will to leave and come to the office?”

I was so blown away by the question I didn’t even know what to say.  I asked the manager “How did you handle those situations?”  His answer was, “I got remarried!”

He was willing to sacrifice his family in order to get the job done.  His wife divorced him and he eventually remarried with no kids.  That ended my interview.  I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my family (and life) and he wasn’t willing to hire me if I wouldn’t make that sacrifice.

He seemed happy.  He had the corner office high in Detroit office tower, an entire section of the company working for him; he was well paid, etc.  But he may have been the saddest person I ever met.

Become Addicted To The Process

As Shane says, become addicted to the process and results will follow.

What’s process?  If you’ve been a reader of this blog, none of this will be news but your process should include:

  • Being Humble.  We all want to stand out and be seen as the best.  But what people remember about you will be your humility, not your arrogance.
  • Build Team.  There is an abundance of research and experience that indicated teams outperform individuals.  However, that’s only true if the team is functioning as a unit rather than just a group of people.  Especially a group of people who are there simply to do what the arrogant boss tells them to do.
  • Build relationships.  People want to know that you care for them and know them as human beings, not just about what they can accomplish.  People are motivated to work hard and be innovative if they believe their teammates and their boss know them and care about them as human beings.
  • There are many other processes that you can be focused on but start with these three.  The results will follow.

Meaningless Photo

This is a photo that really has nothing to do with the blog but when I saw this photo of Simone and Shaquille O’Neal together I couldn’t resist including it.  Enjoy!

 

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Are You a Hedgehog or a Fox?

by Ron Potter October 14, 2021

Years ago I was working with a client in Scotland.  It was mid-June so the days were very long.  Because Scotland is so far north the sun rises at about 4:30 in the morning.  This allowed me to play nine holes of golf before my meetings started.  While I was on one hole a small hedgehog came walking out from a nearby woodpile.  He seemed oblivious to my presence and walked right into the line of my pending putt.  I reached out with my putter and “patted” him on the rear end assuming he would scamper off the green.  Instead, he curled tightly up into a ball and held his defensive position.  I watched him for a few minutes but he never came out of his defensive ball.  I then took my putter, treated him like a golf ball, and putted him off the green.  After a few minutes, he got up a scampered off.

So when I saw the Wall Street Journal titled, “The Hedgehogs of Critical Race Theory”, I was intrigued.

Archilochus

Archilocus was a Greek poet and philosopher who said, “The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing”. The WSJ article says that the political philosopher Isaiah Berlin wrote an essay in 1953 suggesting that the world was divided between hedgehogs and foxes.  He identified Karl Marx as a supreme hedgehog and Franklin Roosevelt as a restlessly improvising fox.

The WSJ article expresses that the world’s hedgehog population tends to expand in times of stress and change.  Lately, it has exploded in the U.S. with all of them advancing One Big Thing or another, each peering through the lens of a particular obsession. (Italics are mine)

The theologian Richard Niebuhr, explained it this way: “There is no greater barrier to understanding than the assumption that the standpoint which we happen to occupy is a universal one.”

Barrier to Understanding

Do you want to understand or would you rather stick with your hedgehog approach to one big standpoint?  This is the difference between normal teams and great teams.

In great teams, everyone suspends their opinions and standpoints for a moment while they attempt to completely understand each members’ viewpoints.  This requires that we listen to understand rather than listening to respond.

It’s a natural human trait to keep score in our head of the issues that we agree with and disagrees with while another person is explaining their viewpoint.  STOP IT!  It does take a great deal of energy and discipline to fully listen with the intent to understand where the other person is coming from and what is forming their opinion.  It takes hard work.

Work at it!  It will make you a better person and a better team.

Koosh Ball

A colleague called me the other day and asked if I had ever dealt with someone that was so convinced that their opinion and perspective was right that they never stopped talking or interrupting.  And if so, how did I deal with it? My answer was a Koosh ball.

  

It was an exercise I often used when we had a “talker” on the team.  The rules were simple:

  • Only the person who was in the possession of the Koosh ball could speak.
  • When that person was done expressing their opinion and perspective they would then decide who the Koosh ball was tossed to next.

Two things I often observed was the the “talker” still needed a signal to stop talking even though they knew the rules.  I often had to put my hand up to cut them off and remind them that their job was to fully understand the perspective of the talking person.  They still seemed to have a difficult time.  It took hard work on everyone’s part.

The other thing I often observed was that the team was so tired of constantly hearing the talker, they would toss to anyone other than the talker.  It became obvious that we were hearing the other’s perspective for the first time.  Very refreshing and very empowering to everyone.

Opinion and Perspective

It’s OK to have clear and powerful opinions and perspectives.  However, don’t assume that each person sees that same universe.  Every person is unique and comes from individual experiences and understandings.  Just look at your own family.  I have three siblings.  We grew up in the same household with the same parents and were only a few years apart.  And yet, each of us had very unique experiences and developed a unique set of values.

That is why great teams outperform average teams and individuals.  Pulling all of those experiences and unique views of the world together into a team decision is very powerful.  If you haven’t experienced that, I hope you do someday.

It’s incredibly satisfying.

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Is Criticism Slowing You Down?

by Ron Potter October 7, 2021

As you’ve probably noticed in my blogs, I’m a fan of Aristotle’s philosophy.  One of his quotes makes a great point about criticism:

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”

I have seen and met those people.  They are so afraid of what others think that they tend to not do anything in fear of criticism.  Therefore they say nothing that could be constructed as critical or even innovative.  In doing so they become nothing.  They become invisible.  They are never considered for promotion.  They are never considered to lead a team.  Their thoughts are never considered when looking for innovative ideas.  They are nothing.

Criticism Happens

If we think about Aristotle’s quote in reverse:

  • Do something
  • Say what’s on your mind (in a constructive way)
  • Be something.

You are a unique human being.  You bring something unique and different from every other person.  Recognize the value in that uniqueness.

Do Something

Doing nothing can be the result of a boss who is all-controlling.  If that’s the case, look for another position, look for another job, look to a new company.  Being in a position of never doing anything other than what you’re told and how to do it, will suck the life out of you!  You will find yourself a greatly diminished human being that will destroy your self-esteem and it will be noticed by your loved ones.

But doing something will almost always bring criticism.  If you step back and view the situation almost from a third-party position, you’ll often see that the criticism comes from people who themselves have low self-esteem.  The criticism comes in an effort to make themselves look better or feel better about themselves.  It never works.  Healthy people see right through that maneuver and discount the other person, not you.

Say What’s on Your Mind

This one must be accomplished with good self-esteem.  When you’re in that state of mind, you’re not criticizing, you’re just trying to look at things from a different perspective.   Remember that we are all unique.  We all see things from a different perspective.

Teams that can listen and respect each other’s points of view are the healthiest and strongest teams. 

Always stay in a respectful position.  Acknowledge that everyone has a unique perspective and it’s best if we all hear and understand that perspective.  Great teams are not “group think” teams.  We’re not lemmings blindly following the herd off the cliff.  Someone needs to say “I see us heading for a cliff and the results aren’t good”.  Just that simple statement will often get others sharing “you know, I’ve been wondering the same thing.  This just doesn’t feel right”.

Be open, honest, and respectful.  Understand what’s on everyone’s mind.  It can save the team

Be Something

What do you want to be known for?

  • The one who gets the team thinking?
  • The respectful one who always brings the best out in others?
  • The Jerk?
  • The non-existent, silent one in the room?

This is your choice.  Get to know the other team members as human beings.  Help them get to know you as a human being.  We are all unique.  We become the best team when we understand, respect, and use that uniqueness to build a great teams and reach great team decisions.

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Noise Is Overrunning Us

by Ron Potter September 30, 2021

We recently remembered the 20th anniversary of 9/11.

I was in New York City working with a client on 9/10.  Trying to get home that evening from La Guardia, we left the gate three times only to return each time for various reasons.  On the last return to the gate, the pilot came over the speaker and said that anyone who wanted to get off the plane was welcome to but he was going to try to take off one more time.  If I stayed on the plane and this take off didn’t work, I was unlikely to find a hotel room anywhere.  I would have to spend the night in the terminal.  If I stuck with it and the plane was able to take off, great.  It would be late but I would get home.

We finally did take off and I arrived home about 1:30 am on 9/11.  After a few hours of sleep, I awoke and watched the events of that horrible day on my TV.  But I was home.

For the next several days there was not a plane in the sky.  There was no noise from the jets flying overhead.  It was a bit unnerving.  I realized that we had become so accustomed to the noise of jets flying overhead that we just didn’t hear it anymore.  Until it stopped!

That was 20 years ago.  The noise in our lives has gone much beyond jets flying overhead.

Noise has Increased

The sound of jets in the sky has returned (although diminished during Covid).  And once again we barely hear it anymore.  But it’s a little frightening to me how much other noises have increased in our lives.

One that I find particularly annoying (although it may simply be my age) is the sound in restaurants.  When I go to dinner with someone I enjoy the conversation as much as the food.  However, as the noise levels of talking and laughing increase, for some reason the restaurant feels compelled to turn up the background music.  If you look around, no one is listening to the music, they’re trying to talk.  But because of the sound, they need to talk louder.  It’s a vicious cycle and renders quiet conversations impossible.  I’ve given up.

Invisible Noise

The noise that I’m worried about even more is technically not noise at all.  It’s the constant distraction and overwhelming presence of email, texts, and social media, etc.  Even in open-air restaurants where a conversation is possible, I see couples and families all setting together, all on their own devices.  This “noise” has diminished human contact.

I’m Not A Luddite

I’m not opposed to technology.  In fact, I purchased my first Blackberry in early 2000, just months after it had been introduced in late 1999.  Back then I even had to search for a nationwide network for the Blackberry to run on because the phone companies had not discovered that it could be a great revenue stream for their own networks.

Overworked and Increased Stress

It was soon after that I began to hear from clients and colleagues about how overworked they were and the increase of stress in their lives.  I tried to observe what was causing this feeling of being overworked and I really couldn’t see that people were working more than they always had.

What I did observe however was that they got no relief from their workload.

Prior to the availability of smartphones, people would close up shop at the end of the day (even long days), and head home for time with the family, rest, and relaxation.  That wasn’t happening anymore.  They felt they were suddenly on call twenty-four hours per day.

It’s not that they were working harder, it’s just that it never shut off.  If they received an email from their boss late in the evening, they felt it was important (maybe even required) to respond as-soon-as-possible.  This pattern interrupted their time of rest and recuperation, got them thinking and responding, and turning their work brain back on with no opportunity to recover.  This “noise” of being in contact 24/7 has overrun and disrupted our lives.

The Boss is Often Not Aware

One leader I was working with had a reputation of being a demanding tyrant.  I was surprised to find a very pleasant and caring person when I met her.  As I began to ask those who had labeled her a tyrant about the behavior that caused that reputation, they began to talk about her 24/7 demands through email and texts.  In their opinion, it never let up and was destroying their health and family life.

When I asked her about the behavior, her first response was that she had tried to make it clear that she wasn’t expecting an immediate response.  However, if you’re a direct report, it’s always hard not to respond to your boss.

I encouraged her to write her thoughts as an email draft whenever she wanted to but not to hit send until either late Sunday night or early Monday morning.  She was very happy to do that.

Within a week her direct reports asked what I had done because their stress levels had gone down and they didn’t feel obligated to think about work all weekend.  Simple things can make big differences.

Take Control of your Life

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about not allowing technology to take over our lives.  It requires personal discipline.

When you go on vacation but dedicate late night or early morning to “getting your work done” you completely override your body and mind’s need for rest and to just be unplugged.  Let your boss and colleagues know that you’re going on vacation and will be unplugged for a while.  For the most part, they’ll understand.

When you get back to work, delete those emails that have filled your inbox while you were gone.  The really important ones will resurface.

Take control.  You’re not a victim unless you choose to be.  You’ll be a stronger, healthier, happier person in the end.

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You’ll Never Be Caught Up!

by Ron Potter September 23, 2021

Most people are list makers.  I’ve observed two types.

  1. Logical, structured lists, usually written down in chronological order.  Myers-Briggs refers to these types as Judging.  Don’t let the title throw you off course.  It simply means that they prefer to live a planned and organized life.
  2. Random list makers including anything that comes to mind at the moment.  Myers-Briggs refers to these types as Perceiving.  It means that they prefer to live more of a spontaneous, flexible life.

Each type deals with its own difficulties.  I’ve seen the logical list makers work hard on completing a task that was not originally on their list.  After the task is complete, they have a tendency to write down the task on their list and then cross it out as completed.

Adding it to their list after it’s completed means absolutely nothing but they experience satisfaction from adding it to the list and then checking it off as completed.

It’s a little bit like Fitbit users who keep track of every step they take.  If their device isn’t charged or they forgot to put it on before they leave for their walk, jog, or run, there is no record of the steps taken.  They often feel that the steps were not actually taken because there is no record to show the effort.  They still received all the benefits from all the steps but without a record, they feel like they never took them at all.

The random list makers have everything they can think of on their list.  From critical issues to totally random issues.  One question I often ask them is “How many lists do you have?”  The answer: too many to keep track of.

The point here is not the type of list maker you are.  The point is you’ll never be “caught up”.

You’ll Never Be “Caught Up”, Stop Feeling Guilty About it

This was a recent Harvard Business Review article titled, You’re Never Going to be “Caught Up” at Work.  Stop Feeling Guilty About it.  

As I write this blog my mind often drifts to the other tasks that I haven’t gotten to yet.  It can lead to guilt and even shame if I let it.  It’s a tough human dilemma fighting the issue of never being caught up.

Feeling Guilty Doesn’t Help

It is important to make sure you’re not just procrastinating from doing something that may be difficult but important.  Prioritizing your task list is important so that you do get the most important items first. And though there aren’t enough hours in the day to accomplish everything,  don’t feel guilty about it.  Feel good that you got to the important things.

One of the issues I’ve seen at play is many people’s ability to say no to someone else.  By promising to get to things that are really not going to be possible you’ll

  • Create guilt or even shame for not living up to your promise.
  • Overwork yourself by doing things for other people rather than those things on your priority list.
  • Do a poor job of accomplishing the task for them and at the same time not performing up to the standards that are expected of you.  Again, guilt and shame.

Be honest and straightforward with people.  If you can’t help them or realistically won’t get to the task they’re asking you to do, it is better for both of you to let them know that up front.

Give Yourself a Break

I’ve watched many people try to help others get past the feelings of guilt/shame by exercising self-forgiveness.  Give yourself the same break.  I know this can be difficult because we all want to perform at our peak so maybe you need that honest friend to help you with this issue just like you’re trying to help others.  Do you have that someone that will talk with you straight and you’ll appreciate it?  If not, that should be your number one priority.

Vacation or Break Time

I’ve noticed with myself that if I’m off work for a week, I actually get one day of rest and recuperation.

I may leave work late Friday night because I’m trying to finish off those things I feel are important to accomplish before I leave.  This may flow over into Saturday.  Sunday can be very active with church, friends, or traveling if we’re going someplace.  Monday I can feel myself start to let down and I usually get my best night’s sleep that night followed by a Tuesday that is often completely disengaged from work and very relaxing.

But by Tuesday night I can catch myself thinking about work again and the things I need to accomplish when I return.  That feeling increases Thursday and Friday and in the end, I realize I accomplished one day of R&R.  So I get one day off in a one-week vacation.  I need to take two weeks to get a week off!

Vacation and Break Time Killers

So what will destroy all of those efforts?

  • Not turning off your phone
  • Continuing to read texts and emails
  • Taking some work with you to get done before everyone gets up in the morning.

You’ve got to shut things off!  My personal experience is that even if I’ve been good at shutting those things off during my vacation/break time when I get back to the office I’ll find an email box with several hundred messages and feel immediately overwhelmed.

At first, I would take all of those emails and save them in another file intending to get them soon.  I never did.

After that, I simply deleted all emails in my inbox.  I found that if there was something important the person who sent it will reach out again looking for an answer.  If I simply said, “Sorry, I was on vacation, how can I help you?” most of the time the other person understood and then would get me caught up on the issue.

I don’t believe I ever experienced more than about one percent of follow-up on those hundreds of emails.

Get Your R&R

It’s up to you.  Only you can make sure it happens.

But our personal experiences tell us and research confirms if we don’t get adequate rest, relaxation, recuperation, and regeneration, our body and minds will continue to deteriorate over time diminishing our ability to perform.

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BlogLeadership

The Decisions You Make Determine the Kind of Team You Are.

by Ron Potter September 16, 2021

This is oversimplified, but you can boil the purpose of most teams down to:

  • Leadership Teams
  • Management Teams

Leadership teams provide vision and mission and deal with the difficult issue of dilemmas.  Management teams make the tough choices of executing the vision and mission in the most cost-effective manner.

If you’re not dealing with dilemmas, you’re not a leadership team

Most management teams are dealing with right vs wrong issues.  The answers may be difficult and the team may be divided, but in the end, they can be categorized as right vs wrong.

Dilemma issues are very different.  They deal with right vs right issues.  For instance, almost all leadership teams deal with short-term vs long-term.  Should they deal with both?  Yes.  But often, the resources needed to give both fronts adequate support are not available.   So they now face a dilemma.

  • Should they apply the available resources to deal with their short-term issues?  Yes!
  • Should they invest in the long-term success of the company?  Yes!
  • Are there enough resources to do both?  No!

They are now faced with a dilemma.  Both answers are yes; they just don’t have the resources to do both.  Which option do they invest in?

Horns of a Dilemma

The origin of the word dilemma is delaminated.   This refers to the horns of a bull that are laminated.   Thus, when you’re in a dilemma, you’re being forced to pick one horn or the other, knowing that you’re still going to get gored by the opposite horn.

If you decide to put your available resources toward fixing and supporting the short-term, the long-term issues are going to gore you.  Or visa versa.

The issue for leadership teams is to be transparent about their decisions and document, document, document.   It’s all too easy for someone to second guess the team’s decision when the other option is goring them.

When dilemmas are not being handled in a completely transparent way or there is inadequate documentation, someone will be thinking or saying, “The Leadership Team should have seen this coming and given it the adequate resources to prevent this mess (being gored).”  The truth is that they did, but they were faced with right vs right choices and those issues are much more challenging than right vs wrong issues.

If your leadership team is not dealing with right vs right issues, they’re a management team!

Personal Dilemma

I am currently facing a genuine personal dilemma.  I have a liver disease called NASH.  The first two letters stand for non-alcoholic.  My liver scars over as if I’ve been a heavy drinker all my life and begins to shut down even though I don’t drink any alcohol.

Trying to understand the issues I face as my liver continues to fail, I’ve spoken with two heart transplant surgeons that I know.  Even though they are separated by geography, they both gave me the same answer.  I’ll have to choose between a liver transplant or continue to treat and deal with the symptoms of a failing liver.  But they both said there is no right answer.  Either way will produce difficult issues that I’ll have to face and deal with the best I can.  But while there is no right answer, they both advised me that I must come to peace with the direction I choose.

At that point, it hit me.  I’m dealing with a very real, very impactful, very difficult decision.  I’m facing a dilemma.  And the only advice the surgeons could offer me was to be at peace with the decision that I make.

Leadership Teams

Leadership Teams face the same issue.  They must reach a certain level of peace with their decision, knowing full well that at some point they’re going to get gored by the other option.

This is a very difficult task.  It’s difficult to deal with it on a personal level.  It’s maybe even more difficult to deal with it on a team level.  Getting the entire team to be at peace with the decision takes a great deal of patience, openness, confidence, and trust.

It’s hard work!  But it’s the only way that Leadership Teams fulfill their mission of guiding the company through dilemmas.

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BlogLeadership

Your Title Doesn’t Make You a Leader

by Ron Potter September 9, 2021

This comes from an article in INC magazine with that same title.

In that article, they list a couple of issues that do make you a leader.

  • “From Intimacy comes ‘Into-Me-See'”
  • “Forget your Title and Be Yourself”

From Intimacy Comes “Into-Me-See”

I’m not sure if I’ll ever remember the “Into-Me-See” when I see the word Intimacy but the point is very clear.

I’ve written many times how important it is to develop trusting relationships with your team.  The manager who says “I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to get the best productivity” doesn’t ever quite realize that the best productivity only happens when people are treated like people and not wholly about what they can accomplish.

This usually breaks down with the manager blaming others for not meeting deadlines, not tackling the issue with enthusiasm, or even being too stupid to get the task done.  They never realize that the task doesn’t meet expectations because people don’t feel valued and connected.

In the article Brene Brown says,

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” 

Sustenance and strength from the relationship!  Without building trusting relationships, that sustenance and strength doesn’t exist.

I recently wrote a blog about the Neuroscience of Trust.  Building relationships releases Oxytocin which promotes trust.  In the Inc. article the “into-me-see” statement is explained,

“With intimacy, we mean ‘into-me-see’:  it means that you are seeing the other person, the other human being at the other side of the table with whom you are having a discussion.  Only when someone feels seen, heard, and valued will then listen to what you have to say and, as appropriate, follow your leadership.”

See into other people.  Let them know that you know who they are, not just what they do.  You will build the trust needed to be a great leader.

Forget your Title and Be Yourself

Charlie Munger, partner of Berkshire Hathaway recently said, “It is remarkable how much long-term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid, instead of trying to be very intelligent.”

Somehow with new titles comes this concept that we must be smarter than we are or at least smarter than those around us.  That’s stupid.  Charlie says, trying to be consistently not stupid results in long-term advantages.

I’ve coached a few people lately who are taking on a new job and feeling they weren’t quite smart enough for the new role.  I tried to help them understand that everything they needed was already inside them.   They should just be who they are!  They already have what it takes to be great at the new jobs.  They don’t need to be something more! They don’t need to be smarter!  In fact, trying to be smarter only creates obstacles and doubt that keep them from being the best.

Just be yourself.

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BlogLeadership

Disagree without Anger

by Ron Potter September 2, 2021

“Just because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I hate you. We need to relearn that in our society.” – Morgan Freeman

Why are good friends able to disagree without getting angry?  They spent time getting to know each other first.

First Rate Stupidity

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.”  F. Scott Fitzgerald.

You’ve seen me use this quote several times but always with the focus on the positive results of being able to hold opposing ideas at the same time.

Let me reverse that for this blog:

“First-rate stupidity is holding on to a single idea or philosophy without allowing others to share their point of view that may be different from your own.”

It’s OK to Disagree

I believe this is what Morgan Freeman was referring to when he said that it’s OK to disagree without hating each other.  I’m afraid that our society has fallen into this trap of not allowing different points of view to penetrate our own belief system.  I’m sure there are several reasons for this, including social media, politics, news media.  I get very concerned when we begin to understand how some large tech firms send us to websites and posts they believe fit our profile and seldom show us the opposing view.  This is not healthy!

Listen to all points of view

Years ago I was working with a CEO who believed that he listened to everyone on his team equally so that it encouraged all points of view.  As I watched him work with his team for the first time I saw him put this philosophy into practice.  He did indeed ask every individual on his team to give their input on certain topics so that they could see all points of view.  However, I began to observe an interesting pattern in his questioning.

If someone on his team put out a point of view that didn’t agree with his thinking, he very sincerely thanked them for the input with no further comment.  He would then move onto the next person on the team and ask for their viewpoint.  If that team member seemed to voice a point of view that agreed with the CEO’s thinking he would also sincerely thank them for their input but would then reinforce their thinking because that was what he believed as well.  When he was finished asking for input from each team member, it was clear to me and clear to the team which point of view he agreed with and which one he didn’t.

The team had gotten used to this “vetting ” of ideas and the ones who disagreed with the CEO simply went silent about their point of view and moved forward with the team in an effort to execute the CEO’s point of view as successfully as possible.  Not the best use of team diversity.

Trusted Feedback

When the CEO and I were alone, I pointed out my observation.  He was appalled at his own behavior.  He really didn’t intend to shut off different points of view and didn’t realize that his behavior was doing exactly that.  I’ve mentioned many times in previous blogs that I’ve met few leaders who didn’t have the best intentions.  However, their behavior didn’t match those intents.

This is why feedback in the moment is so important.  It can come from a coach like myself but we aren’t there on a regular and consistent basis.  Everyone must cultivate trusted relationships they depend on to give them straight feedback in the moment that doesn’t really match their intent.

Take stock

How many of those relationships do you actually have?  If you honestly believe you have many, good for you!  It will make you a better leader and team member in the long run.  If you have difficulty thinking of anyone who actually fills that role for you or if you’re concerned that the feedback they give you is intended to protect themselves or make you feel better about your behavior, watch out.  You haven’t developed the kind of trusting relationships you need to be successful and satisfied in life.

 

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Blog

The Neuroscience of Trust

by Ron Potter August 26, 2021

The brain is an amazing thing.  I’ve read a few things through the years about how brain chemistry affects Trust.  But a recent article on the Harvard Business Review shed even more light on the topic.

The Neuroscience of Trust

is written by Paul Zak.  Over a decade ago Mr. Zak and his research began to measure the brain activity of people while they worked.  His research began to reveal eight ways that leaders can effectively create and manage a culture of trust.  His research began to reveal some amazing things but he admits that he couldn’t answer the question: Why do two people trust each other in the first place?  Humans are naturally inclined to trust but don’t always.  Why?

This began a ten-year search to find a neurologic signal that we should trust someone.

The first signal that began to show up was our levels of Oxytocin in our brains.  High Oxytocin levels during our exchange with others seemed to be a clear indicator of trust while low levels made us cautious and less apt to trust.  Oxytocin appeared to do just one thing – reduce the fear of trusting a stranger.

From this research, Mr. Zak began to see eight behaviors that increased Oxytocin and increased levels of trust.

Eight Management behavior that fostered trust.

The eight elements that have become effective include:

  1. Recognize Excellence
  2. Induce “challenge stress”
  3. Give people discretion in how they do their work.
  4. Enable job crafting
  5. Share information broadly
  6. Intentionally build relationships
  7. Facilitate whole-person growth
  8. Show vulnerability

I will not go into each topic in depth.  You can read the article at: https://hbr.org/2017/01/the-neuroscience-of-trust for more detail.  But I do want to highlight a few points I’ve experienced in my 30 years of consulting.

Recognize Excellence

Annual performance reviews don’t work.  Someone once said that if you wait a few days to punish or reward a dog for his behavior he has no idea of the cause and doesn’t learn anything.  I’m not trying to compare humans to dogs but the brain science of punishment and rewards are the same.  If they are not received almost immediately while the incident is fresh in everyone’s mind, almost no learning takes place.  Immediate recognition for excellence is highly rewarding to the individual.

Induce “challenge stress”

When a challenge is difficult but achievable, it releases Oxytocin in the brain that intensifies focus and strengthens social connections.   But this works only if challenges are attainable and have a specific endpoint.  Vague or impossible goals cause people to give up before they even start and reduces the level of Oxytocin, making it more difficult to trust.

Give people discretion in how they do their work.

One of the interesting outcomes of this issue I’ve seen through the years is that when a boss not only tells employees what to do but also how to do it, it creates an attitude in people that says, “If the boss is going to tell me how to do a task, I’ll never do it exactly as they think it should be done, therefore, I’m not going to do anything until I’m told how to do it.”  People are no longer invested in their work and will do the bare minimum required.

Enable job crafting

Mr. Zak’s statement on this topic is “The companies trust employees to choose which project they’ll work on, people focus their energies on what they care about most.”  Often there are tasks to be done that nobody really wants to do.  That’s reality.  However, people know that these tasks exist and understand that they must be accomplished for the company to fully function.  They really don’t mind doing these tasks if they know that they’ll also be given ample opportunity to complete tasks they care about.  Make sure they realize that you’ll allow them to do those desired tasks as much as you can.

Share information broadly

Only 40% of employees report that they are well informed about their company’s goals, strategies, and tactics.  I’ve worked with the Denison Consulting group for many years.  (https://www.denisonconsulting.com).  Years ago they developed a corporate culture survey where they can demonstrate that companies who score higher on the overall chart also perform better financially.  Three key elements of that survey include Vision, Goals and Objectives, Strategic Direction and Intent.  Sharing these things with all employees on a regular basis produces better financial results.

Intentionally build relationships

Through the years I’ve heard many corporate leaders make the statement “I’m not here to be their friend, I’m here to get the task done.”  Wrong!  You don’t have to be fishing or drinking buddies but people need to know that you care for them as human beings, not just for what they can accomplish.  Get to know your people.  Build relationships.

Facilitate whole-person growth

High trust workplaces help people develop personally as well as professionally.  This requires that you intentionally build relationships.  You must know the whole person, not just what they do.  All too often managers believe they’re investing in their people because they’re giving them training courses to further their skills in what they already do.  While appreciated it’s not investing in the whole person.  I heard one story of a manager who knew that one of her employees loved playing the guitar in a small band.  So that manager bought the employee a new and upgraded guitar.  That investment indicated to the employee that they were understood as a whole person and that gift increased trust and loyalty well beyond what a training course in advanced accounting would have ever done.

Show vulnerability

Even though this is the last one on the list I would rather it be number one.  Good leaders are humble human beings.  It takes humility to be vulnerable.  Humble leaders genuinely ask for the input of their team.  They don’t have all the answers.  Research indicates that this aspect alone produces a great deal of oxytocin in others which increases their trust and cooperation.

List of eight

So there is the list of eight behaviors that foster trust:

  1. Recognize Excellence
  2. Induce “challenge stress”
  3. Give people discretion in how they do their work.
  4. Enable job crafting
  5. Share information broadly
  6. Intentionally build relationships
  7. Facilitate whole-person growth
  8. Show vulnerability

If you’re a leader trying to develop trust and teamwork, don’t try to tackle them all at once.  That becomes confusing to the team.  Pick the issue that you think will return the greatest rewards.  Ask the team if you’ve picked the right one and listen with the intent to understand.  That act in itself will require humility/vulnerability which will instantly increase trust.  Work on that one item and get frequent feedback from the team about your progress.  Once you’ve got that first one producing good results, tackle the next one.  You’ll be surprised how quickly the others begin to fall in place once you get better at the most important two or three.

Build trust.  It’s the only way to build great teams.

 

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BlogLeadership

Honored and Humbled

by Ron Potter August 19, 2021

This blog is personal.

Alumni of the year

I was recently honored as the Alumni of the year from my high school.  I was very honored and humbled.  The upbringing I had as a child doesn’t seem to be available to many people anymore.  I was raised in a small rural Michigan town that was very stable.  Many of my friends I knew all the way from kindergarten to high school graduation.  Some of them I knew even before we started school.

One of those friends and I have occasionally wondered about what was it about our environment and upbringing that allowed us to work comfortably all over the country and world.  This award forced me to get my thoughts down on paper as an answer to that question

God, Family, Friends, Mentors

As I began to collect and record my thoughts, I focused on these four elements that had made difference for me that carried me through a lifetime.

God

One summer I was attending a Christian Camp run by Bill Glass.  At the time, Bill Glass was the defensive end for the Cleveland Browns.  He was big and powerful, a man’s man, and had everything he needed to be a self-reliant individual.  However, that week he spoke often about his total dependence on Christ being his Lord and Savior and that he would be nothing without him.  His message began to sink in with me and by the end of the week, I had also accepted Christ as Savior.

On the last night of the camp, there was a great deal of singing and asking people to come forward to either declare their decisions or acknowledge that they needed to make a decision.  I was in a row of about a dozen guys, standing third from the isle.

I knew I had to go forward to declare my decision but as a 14-year-old boy was struggling with the issue.  Pretty soon the two guys closest to the aisle went down front.  The guy to my right began nudging me saying that I needed to go down front.  I kept saying that I knew I did but just needed a minute.

Finally, after one more nudge, I turned to him to tell him I knew that I did but when I turned to face him, the entire row was empty.  I was the only one in the aisle!  I knew right then that it wasn’t a human that was nudging me and I immediately went down front.  After that my local church began to nurture me, learning more about the Lord as I grew.

Family

At the banquet were all of my siblings, one of my daughters from Tunisia (the other one was at a wedding in Colorado), and many nieces and nephews.  As I looked and talked with each of them it was amazing that they all knew the Lord and were growing in him.  I know that many families have difficulties and we have our share as well, but because we all know the Lord, we stay close and appreciate each other.

Friends

As I said earlier, many of my friends from high school have been my friends for my entire life.  We remain amazingly close and although jobs and family took us in different directions, we still get together as often as we can.  I cherish those moments and feel very blessed and loved by them.  It gives me great strength.

Mentors

This one was difficult because there were so many.  However, I narrowed it down to two because of time.  The first one I identified was my father.  I’m not sure he would have considered himself a mentor but he was to me.  He had lost a leg in WWII that made his life very difficult but he never let it stop him.  He started his own business that required a lot of physical effort, built his (and our) home, and raised a great family.  And never once did I hear him complain!

And although he only had a high school education, he was a non-stop reader and learner.  I would come home from Engineering School with a new concept I had just learned and couldn’t wait to share with him.  But as soon as I did I would find out that he had been reading about the same concept and knew more about it than I did.  I never could get ahead of him.  The most cherished possession that I inherited was his dictionary.  It is 8 x 10 in size and 8 inches thick.  8 inches thick!  A dictionary.

The other mentor that came to mind for me was my high school physics teacher.  There were many times when I thought he was picking on me.  He would say “Potter, what’s the answer?” or “Potter, come to the board and show us how to solve this.”  It just didn’t seem fair to me.  Then one day I ran into him in a back hallway of our school and felt emboldened to confront him.  When I asked why he seemed to be picking on me his answer was “Because you’re worth it!”  He was the only high school teacher I went to visit after graduating from Engineer School.

God, Family, Friend, Mentors

As much as you might like to be, you will never be God.

Other than spouses, you can’t pick who your family will be.

That leaves friends and mentors.  Cultivate friends that will tell you the truth no matter how painful that will be.  Be that kind of friend to them.

Seek out mentors who will help you grow and develop.  And be one yourself.  Maybe it’s a friend you can mentor.  Maybe it’s someone who you believe has great potential that could use your experience and care.  Maybe it’s a grandchild.  They look up to their grandparents whether they express it or not. Let someone else know they’re worth it!

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BlogLeadership

Entitled Anger

by Ron Potter August 12, 2021

“What we know is that entitlement is correlated with anger, meaning the more entitled you are the angrier you get,” said Ryan Martin, the author of Why We Get Mad: How to Use Your Anger for Positive Change.

Entitled

What does it mean to be entitled?  A dictionary definition is:

believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment
Italics are mine.

Believing oneself!  Yes, it can come from your position in the pecking order but the definition says that you believe you’re entitled and deserve special treatment.

Leadership and Entitlement

I’ll remind my readers that the number one attitude of a great leader is humbleness.  I would say that being humble is the opposite of feeling entitled.

We’ve all run into the entitled leader.  Actually, they are not leaders, they’ve simply obtained a position of leadership.  But they believe that because they have become a VP or general manager, they’re entitled to special treatment and feel no hesitancy to use a command and control style.

Anger

Anger can be real and justified at times.  Even Jesus displayed anger at the money changers that were taking advantage of the poor.

The money changers were taking advantage of those who visited the temple.  This made Jesus angry and he said “My house shall be called the house of prayer”.

Anger can be justified but be very, very careful of your motives.

On a Clear Day You Can See General Motors

Patrick J. Wright is the author of On a Clear Day You Can See General Motors, an account of John De Lorean’s departure from General Motors. (The account is written without De Lorean’s cooperation.)

De Lorean left General Motors to start his own company, Delorean Motor Company (DMC).  If you’re a fan of “Back to the Future” you’ll remember the DMC used by “Doc” to go back in time.

There was one very telling section in that book that described the destructive nature of entitlement.

GM executives arrived at work each morning and their company valet service would pick up their car, take it to the shop, fix any squeaks, rattles, or other issues.  The car was then washed and cleaned inside and out and returned to the executive for their drive home.

Based on these executives’ experience, GM was making some of the finest cars in the world.  But the general public had a different experience.  To them, GM was producing some of the worst cars in the industry.  The executives didn’t understand.  Sometimes they even got angry at the public for thinking that way.  Their anger was based on entitlement!

Do you feel entitled?

That feeling or belief will get you nowhere.  In fact, it will be destructive to you and others.

It can be difficult to see our own entitlement.  You must develop good friends that are not afraid to tell you if you are acting that way.  You must develop a great team that can talk about anything, even your behavior, without fear of reprisal.  Entitlement will destroy you!  Do whatever you can to keep it from creeping into your life.

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