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Ron Potter

Ron Potter

BlogLeadership

“Free-will” Doesn’t Exist

by Ron Potter June 15, 2017

This was a statement recently posted by Benjamin Hardy.

I didn’t agree. I believe in free-will, not predestination. People who take a very dependent approach to life don’t believe in free-will. They don’t believe their efforts can make a difference. They feel helpless because others will overrule them. They live a very sad life. Exercise your free-will. You’ll be happier!

But, as I read further I began to see what he was saying.   There is a price to pay for the choices you make. That I agree with. There is always a price to pay. Even when you choose not to choose, there is a price to pay.

Time to Pay the Piper

Often the price to pay is some pain and suffering. If you’ve read many of my posts you’ve noticed my reference to Dr. Scott Peck’s book The Road Less Traveled. He explains that the root of mental illness is the avoidance of pain and suffering. Choosing not to pay the price at the moment (pain and suffering) will lead to some form of mental illness. The word that comes to mind most often is dysfunctional. We have a very dysfunctional team, company, environment… fill in the blank.

Dysfunction Junction

Why is it dysfunctional? Did someone decide there should be a dysfunctional team? Was that the desire, to work in a dysfunctional environment? Not consciously, but somewhere, the decision was made not to deal with a difficult issue. Therefore, with the decision made to avoid the pain and suffering in the moment, the consequence is a dysfunctional environment.

Time is a big cost issue when it comes to decisions.

Do I decide to help my employee learn a new process or take less time and do it myself?
Consequence: You will always need to do it yourself.

Do I decide to get the team on board before moving ahead or let them know the direction we will take?
Consequence: No buy-in. No engagement. Failed decision.

Do I decide to take the time for good deliberation or make a quick decision?
Consequence: People don’t believe in the decision and will continuing to support other directions.

Developing employees, getting buy-in, facing the dilemma of decisions all take time. Not paying the cost of time in the moment causes negative results. But those negative results may not become evident immediately. Later there is no visible cause and effect. People will say “It’s just dysfunctional.” No, that was the consequence of a decision you made.

There is no free-will. Every choice has a cost. And a consequence.

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BlogMyers-BriggsMyers-Briggs Under Pressure

Myers-Briggs Under Pressure: How MBTI Works

by Ron Potter June 12, 2017

How did we get to this point where one’s behavior looks like being a jerk to another person when we’re all trying to do our best?

(If you didn’t start with the introduction to the “Myers-Briggs Under Pressure” series, I suggest you make a quick review because it will help you better understand these subsequent blog posts.)

Order of Use

The two middle functions of Myers-Briggs (Sensing, iNtuition, Thinking and Feeling) are considered the decision making functions and each temperament type uses them in a different order.

Dominant Function

For instance, my temperament type of ENTJ (Extraverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging) starts with the Thinking function being dominant. This means that I’m at my most natural using my Thinking function and will turn to it the most often when making a decision. Because it is my dominant function, I must have it satisfied if I’m to make a decision or support a decision.

Auxiliary or Supporting Function

Once my dominant function is satisfied (is it logical?) I will than turn to my auxiliary function to add balance and support to my dominant function. For my ENTJ preference, iNtuition will be my balancing function. So, once the decision seems to be logical or can be defended from a logical stand-point, my next question will be “Does it support or align with my conceptual view of the world of how things should be. This is my iNtuitive side.

Balance

First, notice that I have used my middle two functions of my Myers-Briggs type ENTJ. These are my dominant and auxiliary functions and must be satisfied for me to make and be comfortable with a decision. When I’m in balance and doing my best to solve problems and be in alignment with team decisions, I’m relying on these top two functions to be working in harmony.

Tertiary and Inferior Functions

The order of my last two functions, Sensing and Feeling happen with the Tertiary function (Sensing for the ENTJ) being 3rd and Feeling being the last function in my decision making process. These two functions (notice they are not visible in my Type Indicator of ENTJ) will be used positively for getting outside the box of my normal thinking but will also show up when I finally “break” under the pressure and do or say something that I will likely regret later.

The role of Pressure and Stress

Under normal or healthy conditions, we all tend to function well in our dominant and auxiliary space. Our dominant function takes the lead but is open to and listens to our auxiliary functions for balance. We will likely pay attention to our 3rd and 4th function (Sensing and Feeling for the ENTJ) just to make sure we’re covering all the bases but they’ll tend to confirm decisions already made buy our first two functions. It’s important to note that I’ve always observed that the best of leaders seem to cycle through all four functions with equal emphasis so that the outside observer would have a difficult time determining which of the four functions is actually their dominant function. Balance, balance, balance.

But, under pressure or stress interesting things begin to happen. We immediately lose our ability to deal with our 3rd and 4th functions in a healthy, balanced way and in fact, we begin to lose our ability to balance our dominant function with our auxiliary function. We become stuck in our dominant function!

In fact, this is what begins to make us look like a jerk under pressure. Our normal balance begins to recede and we find ourselves working from our single dominant function which can get harsh and unyielding in many ways. In fact, if the pressure finally gets to the breaking point, we actually revert back to our inferior function. And unless we’ve worked at improving our behavior under pressure, we’re just not very good at expressing or dealing with our inferior function. That’s when we look and behave like a jerk!

We’ll begin to explore some of these issues in coming posts as we look at various types and how they might look like a jerk.

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BlogCulture

Can you Ignore the Obvious?

by Ron Potter June 8, 2017

A 19th-century Russian author challenged his brother “Don’t think about a polar bear right now.” Our modern version might be:

Don’t think about:

  • That email right now
  • Your next meeting right now
  • The project that’s due on Monday right now
  • Any other obvious thing that occupies your mind right now

The point is, it’s very difficult to clear our mind of the many present and urgent things so that we can get into deep thinking and deep work. Interruptions, mental and otherwise get in the way.

I’ve written a few blog posts about the technology and “always connected” habits that we’ve gotten into that deplete our ability to think deeply about important issues. But, even if we eliminate the technology of the day (our Russian lived over 100 years before an internet browser existed) we still have difficulty avoiding the distractions of the moment.

I’ve been working at understanding my own distractions and how I can avoid them long enough to do some deep thinking. One model that comes to mind is the Kubler-Ross stages of grief.

I’ve used these stages as a model for dealing with difficult feedback. Maybe they can help us with distractions as well.

Stage 1: Denial

  • I can handle this.
  • It will only take a minute.
  • It doesn’t really distract me.
  • I can get back to my thoughts immediately.

The first stage is to get real about the impact of the distraction. Study after study tells us that if we divert our mind to another topic, it takes a great deal of time to get reoriented and back on track. Don’t kid yourself. Distractions are costly.

Stage 2: Emotion

With the Kubler-Ross model, we’re usually thinking about anger. But it’s not just anger, it’s any emotion. I think the distracting emotion here is elation.

  • It will be fun to just check Facebook for a minute.
  • I just want to see what last night’s scores were.
  • Connecting with my friend cheers me up.

Caving into your emotions is costly.

Stage 3: Bargaining

  • It’s only a few seconds.
  • This won’t take long.
  • I need the fix to keep my energy up.

You can bargain all you want but it’s still a distraction. Even the time it takes to bargain is costly.

Stage 4: Depression

  • What’s the point, I’ll never get good at this anyway.
  • What makes me think I could generate a good result simply by avoiding distractions.
  • I’m just not that good.

Avoiding time for deep thought for any reason is costly. Convincing yourself that you’re not good enough even if you give yourself the time becomes self-fulfilling.

Stage 5: Acceptance

  • I can get better at this.
  • I may stumble to start with but I’ll get better over time.
  • Each time I avoid the distractions helps me get better at doing it again next time.

Believing that you can do this and accomplish it in small steps is rewarding and avoids the cost.

Stage 6: Action

Once you get into the habit of avoiding the distractions you’ll be amazed at the productivity and joy it provides.

Kubler-Ross tells us that we go through all of these stages when it comes to grief. It’s just that each person goes through them at a different pace.

You’ll never avoid them but if you get good at speeding through them you get better. Just to make myself clear, speeding through them doesn’t mean caving into the distractions quicker. It means to get beyond the temptation of each stage quicker.

God speed.

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BlogMyers-BriggsMyers-Briggs Under Pressure

Myers-Briggs Under Pressure: Introduction

by Ron Potter June 5, 2017

We all develop our lenses through years of experiences, learning and observing. The lenses that I’ve developed through the years tend to be focused on leadership style, team building, decision making and other dynamics of leadership teams. (I like to think of the glasses Nicholas Cage uses to read the Declaration of Independence in the movie National Treasure.)

When I see what appears to be strange, unexplainable or dysfunctional behavior I’ll often flip the “blue” lens in place or maybe I need to add the “red” lens to the mix so that I can see a deeper image. The point is that with the right lens we can see and understand behavior and dynamics in most situations.

But what happens when you don’t have the right lens or haven’t developed the lens you need to understand a particular situation?

Reacting Under Pressure

There are too many times during a team meeting, especially a team under the stress of making a right decision during difficult conditions. when in a whisper or a side conversation I’ll hear someone say “What a jerk.” Nobody intends to be a Jerk. No one is sitting there trying to think about how royally could they screw up this decision making process. There not being a jerk, they’re just looking like a jerk through your lens. Try flipping down your “blue” lens to see how a particular temperament might react or behave in this situation. Maybe it begins to look more normal and understandable and not look like being a jerk. Still doesn’t explain all the behavior? Try flipping down your “red” lens to see how that temperament might behave under extreme pressure or maybe add the “green” lens to see what happens when that particular temperament finally hits the breaking point. Now that may not excuse the behavior but it sure explains it and helps us figure out how to support our colleague through these pressure moments.

Myers-Briggs Series

I’m going to start a series titled “Myers-Briggs Under Pressure” to talk about those moments when it seems like someone is being a jerk but in reality they’re simply performing in a manner that any person of their temperament type might behave under similar circumstances.

My goals are to:

  1. Help you develop new lenses to see behavior in a new way and not write it off simply as someone being a jerk.
  2. Give you new tools to help team dynamics improve overall.
  3. Help you and others perform better under pressure
  4. Prevent the breaking points when someone reacts in a way that makes it difficult to recover even with the best of efforts.

Withstanding Pressure

Hopefully we’ll change those opportunities from “Under Pressure” to “Withstanding Pressure” and here’s a healthier way to work that adds value to both the individuals and the whole team.

Stay tuned to “Myers-Briggs Under Pressure”

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BlogCulture

Never do this when seeking a promotion!

by Ron Potter June 1, 2017

You should never seek a promotion!

The word seek means to

  • Solicit
  • Beg
  • petition for

Don’t you just get a warm feeling when you think about solicitors or beggars or being asked to sign a petition?

Of course not. It feels like we’re being manipulated. When people seek promotions if feels the same way.

Why do people seek promotions?

What’s the mindset of those who are seeking a promotion?

The words I hear include statements like:

  • I deserve it.
  • I’ve been here the longest.
  • I have all the qualifications for the job.
  • I’m more qualified than the person being considered.
  • If I was in control of the larger group I could make things happen.

These sound like Level 2 of the 4 Levels of Happiness.  Simply put, the four levels are:

  1. Money
  2. Ego
  3. Serving
  4. Teaming

When we’re seeking a promotion, we’re attempting to satisfy our ego.

What Happens when we get the promotion we seek?

If the promotion is received under these terms, what are your chances of success? Unfortunately, not great. There is very little support granted those who seek and then receive promotions.

  • They think they deserved it, let’s see them prove it.
  • Because they’ve been here the longest they think they can lead. They can’t.
  • They had the skills to do the work in their previous position. They don’t have the leadership skills to be successful in this position.
  • We should have hired the other person. It’s just a matter of time before this leads to failure.

How should we approach promotion opportunities?

If there’s a job posting and you’re interested in the position, please submit your application. Then let your work speak for itself.

After consulting with many leaders, it amazes me how many times I’ve heard “I wasn’t looking for this position. But, they promoted me into the job and I’m trying to do the best I can.”

Do your best where you are. That’s the key to promotion. Get better. Learn. Grow. Try things. Collaborate. See that others grow and get the credit for success. Strive to be better at what you do. That’s what gets promoted.

What happens when you get that promotion you were not seeking?

Then the things I hear are:

  • Give them a chance. They should have the opportunity to succeed.
  • I’ll give them a helping hand. They earned it.
  • If they make a mistake, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Can you see the difference in the responses? If you seek the promotion you’re on your own. Not even your boss, who may have promoted you will give you much support. But if you were working hard at being the best you could be at your position before you were promoted, people want to help. They want you to succeed. And most importantly, they’ll give you the time to be successful.

Will you sometimes be overlooked for a position? Quite likely. Would it have been better if you had sought the position? Absolutely not!

We’ve had the framework backward for a long time. Success doesn’t lead to happiness. Being happy leads to success. You will find that you’re the happiest when you’re doing your best, learning, growing and enjoying the moment.

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Short Book Reviews

The Happiness Advantage

by Ron Potter June 1, 2017

Ron’s Short Review: Hard work, dedication, success, won’t make you happy. Being happy makes you better at hard work, dedication and leads to more success. Essential understanding.

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BlogLeadership

Would a good Spy make a good Leader?

by Ron Potter May 29, 2017

Yes, this sounds like another post I wrote recently but with a twist. Read on.

I love spy novels! One of the abilities that the good spy’s (at least the ones in novels) have is the ability to read micro expressions. Is the other person telling the truth or not?

This is not a novelist fantasy. There seems to be an actual science behind the idea of micro expressions. Following is the official definition:

Micro expressions are the rapid movements of facial muscles which show underlying emotions.

There are seven universal micro expressions:

  • Disgust
  • Anger
  • Fear
  • Sadness
  • Happiness
  • Surprise, and
  • Contempt

In my last Monday post, Dr. Hank Weisinger talks about using your own micro expressions to make a better decision. Can you also use them to become a better leader?

There is a great difference between managing and leading. Managing, at its best is:

  • guiding,
  • teaching,
  • instructing

Its purpose is to get things done in the most efficient way possible. Our corporations couldn’t survive without good management.

Leading is different. Leading is aligning peoples’ passions and personal growth ambitions with the company goals. If you’re good at seeing micro expressions, you can become a better leader.

One of my more painful moments in my work is watching good managers try to lead by managing more. The leader/manager ignores the expression of contempt that crosses the others face. Sometimes they seem to be unaware. Most of the time they’re taught or encouraged by their manager/leader to ignore it and keep managing. They believe that good leadership is driving people to work harder.

Good leaders help people tap into their own passion to achieve alignment with team goals. Good leaders pick up on the fear, sadness or happiness that crosses the person’s face. If they’re seeing anything but happiness, they’re asking questions and listening. When goals align with passions, happiness is obvious.

Good spy’s notice things that others miss. Good leaders see things that managers don’t. Moving beyond a good manager to a good leader is difficult. Micro expressions may help.

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BlogLeadership

You’re About to Get Fired

by Ron Potter May 25, 2017

Clients have asked me to deliver that message. I’m often seen as the last chance to correct a leadership issue that has derailed a leader. On one hand, they see me as an investment in trying to save the leader. On the other hand, they’re hiring me to deliver the message that wasn’t heard: “Either change or lose your job.”

A few times I’ve had the opportunity to look back over several performance reviews. I’ve found it fascinating that the issue is always there, in writing, in past reviews. Why wasn’t the message heard?

“Why hasn’t anyone told me this before?” This is the response that I always hear. They just heard from me that they may lose their job and they’re shocked. “Nobody ever told them before!” When I point out that I see the issue in their performance reviews they still seemed shocked. “Yes, it’s there, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”

Bill Benjamin with IHHP speaks to this issue in a course called “Difficult Conversations” as part of “the Performing Under Pressure series”.

Here is a distinct pattern we see over and over again in the leadership development training programs we run: when leaders face a difficult conversation, a feedback conversation or a performance review, most cover 85, 90 or 92% of the content of what they want to say in the conversation, but a funny thing happens when they get to the more difficult part of the conversation, what we call the Last 8%. When they hit this part of the conversation—where there are consequences to what they are saying—they start to notice that the other person is becoming more anxious and (because emotions are infectious) they themselves become more anxious.

It is at this stage when many, out of anxiety, avoid the last 8% of the conversation and never tell the other person the entire feedback they have for them. The conversation ends and both individuals leave thinking they had the full conversation. Of course, they never did.

Yet neither fully comprehends it. First, the person on the receiving end can’t read the leaders mind and so walks away thinking they had the full conversation. The leader thinks they talked about most of what they wanted to talk about and deludes themselves into thinking they had the full conversation.

That description of the missing 8% explained a lot. The leader would always say to me, “Of course I talked to them about the issue. I made it very clear they needed to correct this.” The receiver would always say to me, “Why didn’t anyone tell me this before? Why didn’t they make it clear to me?”

The last 8%. Are you finishing your conversations? Are you pushing through to the end? Does the other person understand? Just because you said it doesn’t mean you communicated it. Did the other person hear you? Do they understand the gravity of the situation?

By not finishing the feedback you may be avoiding pain and suffering at the moment. But the future pain and suffering far outweigh avoidance. Avoidance of pain and suffering leads to mental illness. That’s what Dr. Scott Peck taught us in his book The Road Less Traveled.

Don’t avoid. Persevere.

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BlogCulture

Would you make a good spy?

by Ron Potter May 22, 2017

I love spy novels!

One of the abilities that the good spy’s (at least the ones in novels) have is the ability to read micro expressions. Is the other person telling the truth or not?

This is not a novelist fantasy. There seems to be an actual science behind the idea of micro expressions. Following is the official definition:

Micro expressions are the rapid movements of facial muscles which show underlying emotions.

There are seven universal micro expressions:

  • Disgust
  • Anger
  • Fear
  • Sadness
  • Happiness
  • Surprise, and
  • Contempt

We all believe we can pick up on some of these clues in others. People who are good actors have learned to express these facial emotions as well. I’m impressed by that actor who, without words, can express that message of fear or contempt or disgust. But, the idea of micro expressions is that they happen quickly and we don’t have the ability to conceal them.

But here’s the bigger question. Do we have the ability to conceal our own micro expressions from ourselves? Or do we ever take the time to learn from our own micro expressions?

Dr. Hank Weisinger co-authored the book Performing Under Pressure. On his blog he discusses making better decisions.

WATCH YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

Use your facial expressions when making an important decision. Emotions are directly linked to facial expressions. Before an important decision, stand in front of a mirror and think of the decision you are to make. Does your face show fear, anger, happiness, anxiety? If your face does not look happy or satisfied when you think about the decision you are to make, you better think twice, because you will be ignoring your instincts.

Dr. Weisinger is not talking about being a good spy to understand other people. He’s saying look in the mirror. What do you see? Are your own micro expressions revealing what your emotions?

Corporations have promoted the idea that decisions must be rational and fact-based. That’s true, but brain science is telling us that we make decisions based on our values and emotions. We then justify decisions based on rational facts (at least the ones we chose to support our beliefs).

Would you make a good spy? Do you even understand yourself? Get to know your micro expressions. Pay attention to your emotions. Your decisions are not separated from your emotions. They’re all tied up together. You make better decisions when you include them in the process.

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BlogCulture

Are you an Addict?

by Ron Potter May 18, 2017

From Wikipedia:

“Addiction is a brain disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences.”

The two properties that characterize all addictive stimuli:

  • reinforcing (repeated exposure) and
  • intrinsically rewarding (it feels good)

Habits and patterns associated with addiction are typically characterized by:

  • immediate gratification (short-term reward), coupled with
  • delayed deleterious effects (long-term costs).

Addictions that come to mind:

  • alcohol
  • accountability
  • cocaine
  • dedication
  • nicotine
  • productivity
  • food
  • gambling
  • sex

Whoa! Back up the truck! Did I include accountability, dedication, and productivity in that list of addictions? Those are the positive terms we use in the business world. But they can become as addictive as the traditional addiction list.

One of the more profound concepts hitting the top of reading lists today is Deep Work. Isolating the time needed to be productive. The reason that it’s receiving attention is that we have so little opportunity to experience it. But, those who do carve out the deep work time are beginning to get labeled as superstars.

What’s preventing us from getting into deep work? Back to the definition of Addiction at the top:

A brain disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. Compulsive: irresistible interesting or exciting; compelling.

Can’t get through that meeting without checking your phone?

Can’t stand to be out of touch 24/7?

Getting distracted by many commitments?

Never learning to say No to any request?

Making quick decisions rather than taking the time to learn and understand?

Many of these behaviors get labeled as accountable, dedication, productive. But when they become compulsive, they have long-term adverse consequences.

  • Burnout
  • Stress
  • Destroyed or damaged health and relationships.

And, by its nature, the longer you feed the monster, the harder it is to return to healthy behavior.

Remember the old TV commercial that said “This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.” You can imagine the images that went along with the words.

In today’s world, we need to change the paradigm to “This is your brain. This is your brain suffering from addiction.” It doesn’t make any difference what the drug is. It’s addiction that destroys your brain.

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BlogTrust Me

Seeking Greatness in Others

by Ron Potter May 15, 2017

A humble leader—one not caught up constantly in personal needs—is able to explore, develop, and encourage the strengths in others. A humble leader wants to create a company of giants, to help people become “bigger” than they ever dreamed possible.

It can be positively exhilarating to learn what qualities the creator has “hard-wired” into others. Many times a humble leader discovers strengths in his or her coworkers that even they have failed to detect. Sometimes you just don’t know what precious gems are buried beneath the surface of another human being.

Finding Diamonds in the Rough

Many leaders focus on people’s weaknesses. They are always trying to “fix” someone. They fail to recognize potential and help people develop a path for personal success and reward.

Each person with whom a leader works has hidden gifts and talents. We need to help them uncover, develop, and use those talents. Humble leaders relish the idea of helping people find their unique niche. They enjoy moving people along to bigger and better things. They celebrate the victories and provide encouragement when their people are discouraged or fearful of moving ahead.

Simple, but powerful ways to do this include:

Assume the best of others

Leaders who expect the best of others exert a powerful influence. Many times leaders get caught in the trap of judging others. They measure, categorize, and classify people and the jobs they perform. assume and reward the best. It helps leaders not make rigid rules that hold down employees who want to soar.

Learn to listen

Being quick to listen implies that a leader is paying attention, that he or she is not distracted but is actively hearing what the other person is saying. A humble leader listens with the intent of understanding rather than responding.

Admit your mistakes

Humble, open leaders show vulnerability. And nothing demonstrates vulnerability quite like admitting mistakes. “I was wrong” is difficult to say, but it is one of the most freeing and powerful statements a leader can make. Admitting your mistakes allows others on the team to relax and admit their mistakes.

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BlogCulture

How accurate is your Bullshit Detector?

by Ron Potter May 11, 2017

I had just finished writing my blog post “Are you a Fighter Pilot?” The close of that blog says

“Did you stop to think?” was a question I often heard from my parents. As a teenager, I thought that was just the stock response for when I did something stupid. I didn’t realize at the time it was a recipe to avoid being stupid as an adult.

Stop multitasking. Stop to think!

The next thing I read was about a study titled “On the reception and detection of pseudo-profound bullshit.” Don’t you just love it when researchers speak in plain language? In other words, how accurate is your bullshit detector?

The scientist ran statements through something called a “New Age Bullshit Generator”. These generated phrases that seemed plausible but were a stream of buzzwords. They questioned hundreds of participants to see how profound they found the statements. All too many of them found the statements quite profound.

The conclusion of the researchers was that it may have been a “lack of critical thinking.” Really? The lack of critical thinking may lead to buzzword statements sounding profound? If I think about it I would agree with that statement. It seems to be profound.

Critical thinking requires critical questioning. There are many good models for critical questions. (I can recommend A more beautiful question by Warren Berger). Here are a few aspects of questioning to think about:

  • Evidence: is it valid? What’s the source? Is it meaningful or profound bullshit?
  • Perspective: Would this look different from a different perspective?
  • Pattern: Does this fit a meaningful pattern?
  • Relevance: So what?

Just because it sounds profound, don’t just nod your head and keep going. Get curious.

Try asking the 5 Whys? Here’s a simple example from Wikipedia on the 5 Whys.

Problem: The vehicle will not start.

1st Why? – The battery is dead. Solution: replace the battery.

2nd Why? – The alternator is not functioning. Solution: replace the alternator.

3rd Why? – The alternator belt has broken. Solution: replace the belt.

4th Why? – The alternator belt was well beyond its useful service life and not replaced. Leading to the root cause.

5th Why? – The vehicle was not maintained according to the recommended service schedule. Root cause!

How many times have your replaced the battery after the first Why? Did you stop to think? Did you get curious? Did you ask a few more Why?”

“Did you stop to think?” was a question I often heard from my parents. As a teenager, I thought that was just the stock response for when I did something stupid. I didn’t realize at the time it was a recipe to avoid being stupid as an adult.

Stop to think!

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