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BlogCultureFacing Adversity

Perplexed

by Ron Potter February 17, 2022

We’ve been looking at a text written over 2,000 years ago.  A partial reading of the text says that we are afflicted in every way, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down.

  • Afflicted
  • Perplexed
  • Persecuted
  • Struck Down

In this blog, we’ll be looking at the second word on the list, perplexed.  Webster defines perplexed as completely baffled, very puzzled.

Some similar words include mystify, bewilder, dumbfounded, and worry.  Have you sat in on a meeting where people are speaking a different language from your own?  Maybe you know a word or two but for the most part, you’re mystified, bewildered, and maybe worried that you’re not understanding what is being said and maybe you should be.

He Was Perplexed

At one point in my career, I spent a couple weeks in the Middle East.  After a few weeks back home speaking English, the only Arabic word I remembered was shukran which means thank you.  I had a client meeting in California and the driver who picked me up from the airport spoke Arabic.  On the 45-minute journey to the meeting site, he was speaking on his phone in Arabic, so I understood virtually none of the conversation.  Upon arriving at our meeting place I politely said shukran for the pleasant ride.  The driver was dumbfounded!  He almost stammered when he asked if I knew the language.  I let him worry for a few seconds then said that shukran was the only word I knew.  The blood returned to his face.  Dumbfounded, bewildered, worried.  You name it, he was perplexed.

Almost every company I have worked with through the years has reduced their conversation to acronyms.  It always took me several meetings before I knew what they were talking about when they used FOMO for “Fear of Missing Out” or some other crazy acronym.  It never bothered me much because I was the outsider.  If I hadn’t figured it out in a meeting or two, I would ask.  However, for those who were part of the team, everyone assumed they knew what it stood for and asking was frowned upon.  They were perplexed.

We Will All Be Perplexed

Once again, the ancient text indicates that all of us will be perplexed at one time or another.  We don’t like being perplexed because it makes us feel uncomfortable or like an outsider.  One of our approaches is to assume we know it all.  We think that we’re not perplexed, and they don’t know what they’re talking about.  We tend to write them off as lost, faking it, saying things that seem profound but are really covering up their ignorance.

This is a dangerous approach.  We must be humble enough to ask, to display our ignorance if necessary.  We may get that original rolling of the eyes, but if we do sincerely ask what we’re missing, it may give us the opportunity to share something we know and actually help the situation.  The rolling of the eyes will quickly turn to respect and trigger good discussion.

Overcoming Being Perplexed

The best way to overcome or avoid being perplexed is to ask questions.  Be humble and sincere but ask the question about your perplexity.  Often, we’ll find out that each member of the team may be referring to something slightly different from the other team members.  They’re also perplexed but may not even recognize it.  Good questions lead to good discussion.  It’s interesting that the solution to being perplexed will often lead to the solution for affliction, which is united discussion about good solutions.

Have you ever noticed that the person who leads to the most innovative answer is the young person, the new person, or the person whose knowledge is in an entirely different area?  They don’t know that they don’t know and therefore ask some of the most profound questions that lead to innovative solutions.  They are perplexed, so they ask questions to cure their own perplexity but that can often lead to a more interesting discussion.  However, once that person has been around long enough to know “how things are done here,” their perplexity is either gone or kept silent.  Those profound questions no longer come.  This is a dangerous place to be.

Encourage perplexity!  As you work your way through being perplexed, great discussions can happen that lead to a much better understanding by everyone and may even come up with some great innovative solutions.

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BlogLeadership

The World’s Top Executive Coach?

by Ron Potter July 1, 2021

I spent much of my career being an executive coach, so I was very interested to see who the Wall Street Journal had named the World’s Top Executive Coach.

So who did the Wall Street Journal identify?  Queen Elizabeth!

My wife and I have been big fans of the TV drama The Crown.  Several times in the series The Queen met with the then-current Prime Minister.   Her very first such meeting was with Winston Churchill in 1952 when she was 26 years old.  That sounds like a pretty intimating start to me!

Giving Orders

British law forbids the queen from giving orders or publicly taking sides on matters of state. Her only constitutional right is to be kept informed.  However, she is free to ask questions and offer her point of view.  It’s amazing how powerful genuine questions can be.

As Britain’s longest-serving monarch, Queen Elizabeth views herself as an impartial advocate for the people. But her primary motive, it seems, is to be helpful. She often ministers to her ministers.

Broader Perspective

The article says that “One of her greatest assets is an unrivaled wealth of historical perspective.  I have found this broader perspective to be useful in many settings.  Sometimes I will hear my grandchildren (becoming young adults now) say things because they’ve heard some of our misguided public officials say so.  I’m sure I sound like an old man to them much of the time but I simply try to help them see a subject from a much broader perspective.  Even if I restrict that perspective to my own lifetime, it covers over 50 years more than theirs.  I watched socialism form, turn to dictatorships, and collapse.  They have none of that experience when they seem to talk fondly of a more socialistic government.

Safe and Secure Place to Talk

The article talks about how The Queen gives the prime ministers a safe place to speak openly without fear of reprisal.

I used to meet with one CEO an afternoon every month.  I would show up after lunch and we would talk about anything on his mind sometimes running well past the 5:00 quitting time.  Leaving the meeting late one evening his personal assistant asked me (a little too seriously I might add) if I was selling drugs.  My response was of course not but why would she ask me such a thing.  She said that the CEO never gave anyone more than an hour of his calendar.  I would show up and we would spend several hours talking and laughing.

The Queen also provides prime ministers with something few world leaders ever get— a safe place to speak openly without fear of reprisal.

Queen Elizabeth’s role isn’t vastly different from that of a traditional executive coach. Most business leaders who employ coaches tend to swear by them. One recent study found that 71% believed coaching improved the performance of their companies, while 69% reported making better decisions.

Truly great coaches are a rare breed. It’s hard to find someone who possesses both vast experience and a keen sense of the present. But Queen Elizabeth’s approach to the job suggests that great coaches need something else, too— a deep reservoir of restraint.

Most great mentors will often have a better grasp on a tricky situation than the person they’re advising. But they’ll resist the urge to be a helicopter coach. The only way to help leaders learn and grow is to allow them to make their own mistakes.
The only responsible method is to let them speak openly, guard their secrets and, once in a while, try to redirect their thinking incrementally. Doing that requires humility—and lots of practice.

Good at powerful questions

This is something everyone should understand.  If you look at that heading again you’ll notice that coaches (I suggest this applies to everyone though) are good at using powerful questions.  If said another way, good questions are powerful!

One source you can turn to is the book A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger.  The subtitle is “The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas.”  In his book, Berger refers to a recent research study of thousands of top business executives which found that the most creative, successful business leaders have tended to be expert questioners.

Berger is a source I’ve mentioned many times in this blog.  Listen with the intent to understand, don’t listen with the intent to respond.  Also in his book, Berger says “throughout his life Einstein saw curiosity as something holy.  To see curiosity as holy, you must ask questions with the intent to understand.  Be Curious!

Leaders and Coaches

I don’t care if you’re a leader, a team member, or a coach.  Being good at any role requires—

  • A broad perspective
  • The integrity required to make conversations safe and secure
  • The curiosity to listen and learn.

 

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